Things not to do in public.

I was in Walmart today ( Ok I admit it. I went to the pits of hell) Anyway I see the standard guy with the wifebeaters on. I see the 300 lb. gal in tight knit pants. I see the gal with 4 kids trying to beat the shit out of all of them and it got me to thinking there should be rules for what not to do in public. I'll list a few and if you want add a few of your own.

1. Pick your fucking nose. Go to the bathroom and blow the motherfucker
2. Scratch your ass. If its itching it needs fucking washing and picking ain't gonna do any good.
3. Touching every fucking fruit in the entire shelf. We all want all of your fucking diseases.
4. Fucking in public. Hmmmmm? Ok depends on the person and place. Scratch that one.
4a.Dressing 20 years younger than you are. Hey guys and gals. If your fifty don't wear twenty.
5. Guys grabbing their dick. Guess what. The ladies know where it fucking is and don't need you to point it out to them. It also makes you look like your fucking stupid.


Ok that's a few. Who's next?

lol--good post!

don't forget

lighting the candles in the candle isle---seen it done!

farting & running from the scene when you are next to an old person!

squeezing the bread to see how fesh it is

I can add some pet peeves to your list Burk:

Taking groceries, or anything else, out of your cart and just putting them any place you please because you changed your mind on buying them. Take them back to where you got them.

Knocking something off the shelves and pretending you didn't notice. We all noticed and you need to stoop your fat lazy ass over, pick it up and put it back.

Letting your dumb-ass cell phone ring at full volume with a stupid ring tone. We all understand how to change ring tones, we all have cell phones and are not impressed that someone is calling you. Put it on vibrate and stick it up your ass so you won't have to scratch it.

Leave your fucking cart in the middle of the parking lot so it can damage somebody's vehicle when it rolls into it. Again get off your fat lazy ass and put it in the cart collection slot. Most of the rest of us had to pay for our vehicles with money we earned not money we were given because we are too lazy to work. I have personally seen a $1200 repair bill from a shopping cart on a guys new pickup.

If you have the shits either take medicine for it or stay home. Don't shit all over the toilet and leave it. You are not the only one that uses the restrooms. If your problem came on suddenly at least tell a manager that the restroom needs attention because you got sick.

I feel better now! I really wonder what condition some peoples houses are in with the way they act in public. They have to be pig styes. I have never seen so many people that can create messes and just walk away with the attitude it is someone else's job to clean it up once they discover it. This includes people dropping full cups of coffee and fountain drinks in the convenience stores too.

Leave your fucking cart in the middle of the parking lot so it can damage somebody's vehicle when it rolls into it. Again get off your fat lazy ass and put it in the cart collection slot. Most of the rest of us had to pay for our vehicles with money we earned not money we were given because we are too lazy to work. I have personally seen a $1200 repair bill from a shopping cart on a guys new pickup. Originally Posted by CS123

It just happened to me. I have a $500 deductible so that's an expensive trip to the supermarket.

Drinking and driving. Don't pull up next to me and take a drink of your beer. I will call the cops. That might be my daughter, son, sister or brother up the street that you kill!

Walk around the store on your phone talking real loud and cursing, there are other people around that don't care to know you ??? And come on there are usually kids around show some respect for their little ears!

Don't think the rules apply to everyone but you. On an airplane, when the captain has said, the fasten seatbelts sign is on, so don't get up and walk around, that means you too bozo. When the front lavatory is occupied, there is a really cool "x" on the overhead sign that tells you that. Stay in your seats and don't congregate by the cockpit. SMH. (can you tell I've been flying lately?)

Along with airplanes, the guy or gal who talks loudly on their phone right up until the moment of takeoff, then continues said conversation immediately upon landing in the same loud tone. Really? Are you that important!

Also, farting in an elevator right before you exit is the ultimate dickmove, however it may be appropriate depending on who is in the elevator with you.

I have to admit... I am a fan of the "Public Fart"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-IC4xzcRINI

Here are some of my BIGGEST pet peeves for fast-food restaurants. (I worked at a McDonald's while in college).

1. Drive thru is for people that want fast service, not people too lazy to get out of the car. If you have 10 people in the car just come in.

2. Know what damned restaurant you are in. Insisting you get a Whopper at McDonalds is frustrating.

3. Letting the radio/diesel engine/ chatting friends make noise when ordering in the Drive thru. It's hard enough to hear anything.

4. Stopping mid-order to talk on the phone.

5. Everyone in the car trying order at the same time.

6. Complaining that you can't get breakfast at noon, or a burger at 7 AM.

7. Getting upset when the super-sized meal with a shake instead of soda cost more than a standard meal.

Rules for Driving:

1.Know the damned difference between a blinking red lite, and a blinking yellow lite.

2. Know how to signal before changing lanes.

3. Parking. One car gets one parking spot. Don't take up two (or in some cases up to four). Also, you park IN the parking spot, not in the striped lines at the end of the lanes.

4. If you are riding a motorcycle and insist on bobbing between cars, passing illegally, and in general being a dick: People get to flip you off, not the other way around.

5. On-ramps. It is the responsibility of the person entering traffic to merge correctly. If I can't get into the left-hand lane you don't just swerve over anyway. Take the shoulder.

6. Old people: you still need to check blind spots before backing-up or changing lanes.

Sorry Cuda, I thought the ol' ordering a Whopper at McDonalds trick was pretty damn funny at the time. Then again, I was probably over served and in an intoxicated state!

Ok I guess we should put in some rules for hobbying so it fits this site.

1. The most important. WASH YOUR ASS!!!!
2. Ladies be on time!! Men be on time.
3. Ladies if your blowing or jacking don't stop at the magic moment.
4. Guys It's ok to do all she does but don't ask for what she doesn't.
5. Never get there and not have the right amount of roses. Women love roses.
6. Ladies if you have the covers get more than one size. Nothing worse than a rubber band on your Johnson.
7. Ladies BE THE ONE YOU SAY YOU ARE!!!!! Bait and switch will get a guy pissed everytime.
8. Ladies If you charge more for things let us know beforehand and not when our pants are on the floor.
9. Guys don't get pissed if she verifies you out first. You should do the same.
10. Relax!!!!! Its only fucking sex not brain surgery. Ladies half the world has a pussy and guys half the world has a cock. It's not a big deal


Oh yea I forgot This was my new years resolution and I have kept it. NO CBJ,s That's just for me.*

* All opinions are that of this old freak and not anyone else or this site and all that legal shit.

A few more for the drivers of the world...especially for those at Walmart it would seem:

1. Unless you are driving a bus...do not park in the bus stop area

2. Unless you are driving a firetruck...do not park in the fire lane

3. Unless you have a physical condition limiting your mobility...do not park in the handicap spaces (same methodology goes for the designated pregnant and elderly spaces)


I'm tired of seeing lazy ass people thinking they can just park anywhere they d**n well please!!!

How about the use of the smart phone while driving! I see this shit every freaking day. Sometimes I want to swerve my care at these people and make them shit themselves [just a thought, I wouldn’t do that]. Half of the time, they wouldn’t even notice.

· DON’T texting while you drive! This included sending & receiving (reading).
· DON’T surf the web or check your emails
· DON’T talk on the phone and drive if you can nor concentrate on more than one thing. Keep the phone convo to a minimum and hang up, the driving part is much more important.

If you are that important of a person, get a fucking chauffer!!

Amen! Never drink & drive or text & drive!!!
And....if you're ass looks hungry, pick your freakn wedgie! Camel toe is another story LoL