A helpful reminder on contentious threads

Given the tenor of some of the postings here, I think it might be helpful for the regular posters here to familiarize themselves with "the rules of the road", as put forth by St. Christopher, one of the board's owners:

http://www.eccie.net/announcement.php?f=5

I would especially note, for the folks whose eyes glaze over at lots of words:

Avoid cases of unprovoked rudeness to others. No place for it here. Yes, with the dynamic nature of the threads and topics, tempers will flare and things will become heated from time to time. You may often encounter individuals who become passionate or emotional when expressing one's opinion or point of view. That's all understood and perfectly acceptable within reason…….but, start slamming or bashing another member and be met with consequences.

Disrespect to others, IN GENERAL, will be considered an item of low tolerance, especially when posting in our coed forums. Follow the Golden Rule and treat others as you wish to be treated yourself. This applies to fellow members as well as staff. We do not require that you have respect for us, but we do require that you treat us respectfully in the public forums. If you feel the need to vent, gripe, or blow off some steam regarding a staff member's action or decision, we ask that you keep it private. Email, RTM, or the PM system would be the appropriate avenue to take in such cases. In cases where you would like to request additional clarity about a staff decision, you are free to pursue an answer in either a public forum or private means of communication. If handled publicly, post your inquiry in a respectful manner.

Blatant insults or hostility toward another member will be met with staff intervention. This applies to using our coed forums for name calling, personal attacks, or vulgar slang terms to describe fellow members. If you have legitimate concerns about another member here, share them tactfully in the appropriate private forums or with staff.

Our moderating staff monitors the forums with the goal of keeping threads on track and on topic. Occasionally we may issue specific instructions or direction to a poster and we ask that you respect those instructions and follow them. Disregarding a moderator's written instruction or repeating a violation for which you have been warned will most certainly result in penalty.

Enforcement of these rules will be done by the entire moderation staff - not just people I like/dislike, not just people Spacemtn likes/dislikes, not just people ztonk likes/dislikes. It will be done without fear or favor, and these rules apply to everyone equally (including moderators). There will be no favorites played, regardless of whatever clique you may believe yourself or someone else to be in. We do not play favorites for adorables or attack packs or any other word beginning with a.

Thank you for your consideration, and thanks to everyone who keeps this a lighthearted place for fun and a useful place for exchange of information.

Thanks Vyt. Very helpful indeed!

So much for the advice I gave you...........

Sixx

my belief is that not only are differing opinions good, but they are essential. however, for me, a line is drawn when terms like "wuss, wk, fool..." in essence, any deroragatory words are thrown around. and i don't care for sexism, racism, homophobism and neither female-bashing nor male-bashing. and on another personal note, i can totally do without the suffix "tard" being used by anybody in any context.

so my fervent hope is that co-ed is mainly for fun and information, but also a place for civil and healthy debate when warranted.

my belief is that not only are differing opinions good, but they are essential. however, for me, a line is drawn when terms like "wuss, wk, fool..." in essence, any deroragatory words are thrown around. and i don't care for sexism, racism, homophobism and neither female-bashing nor male-bashing. and on another personal note, i can totally do without the suffix "tard" being used by anybody in any context.

so my fervent hope is that co-ed is mainly for fun and information, but also a place for civil and healthy debate when warranted. Originally Posted by missi hart

Hopefully we can accomplish that here..though there are others who seem to thrive on the bashing and attacking...some dont have the mental capacity to debate in a an adult way and have to resort to the latter to get their points across..But its still a nice goal to shoot for.

Hopefully we can accomplish that here..though there are others who seem to thrive on the bashing and attacking Originally Posted by Texasquest

while this is generally true, it still doesn't mean that the majority of our community can't take the high road if that does indeed happen. without adding fuel to the fire, the fire will die out. and whereas in the recent past, some might have felt that self-policing was necessary to quash the vitriol, we now have a full staff of moderators that by the start of this very tread are saying they will take care of things for the betterment of our community.

i would just rather believe that "rising above" is the best way to go. for if the attitude of "an eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth" is used, it leaves us blind and toothless.

Hopefully it works out that way !!! I guess only time will tell..Keeping my fingers crossed in the meantime..

Vyt, ztonk, may I suggest handing out points like they were Halloween candy? Like Kandy Korn and Circus Peanuts.

Vyt, ztonk, may I suggest handing out points like they were Halloween candy? Like Kandy Korn and Circus Peanuts. Originally Posted by Carl

or for the really bad offenders, that non-descript candy that is alternately wrapped in orange and black wax paper.

Ex-lax...

Helpful, but, as is usually the case when moderating expression, leaves a lot of grey area.

For example, despite missi's assertion that "white knight" is a derogatory term, I disagree. It's a descriptive term of one's actions. If the shoe fits, then we should be able to use the label. Especially since a White Knight (one who jumps to the defense of one or many women) can and does inhibit exchange of information. A label, in cases like this, can describe something in a couple of words rather than whole sentences or even paragraphs. While calling someone a pussy, bitch, whore, hooker, or asshole would be generally taken as being rude or attacking, it does depend on the intent of the poster. It's a slippery slope, but one that must be hazarded to allow different perspectives and forms of expression.

As for hooktard or fucktard, is that really an insult or an attack if we use the terms for ourselves? Debatable, as I've seen women call each other bitches, whores, and other names as well as men call each other ass, assholes, pussy, etc.. as a term of endearment. Again, intent is key, except that intent is hard to discern over text sometimes. If we’re going to take the “safe route” and just ban those words, maybe we should publish a list of words that will earn points. Let’s expand that list to include any word 3 people find offensive or derogatory.
My biggest problem when people start talking about positivity and fun is that usually means no negative information. Someone talks about a provider’s new pictures, etc.., and someone who has seen her chimes is and adds “nice pictures, but she’s bigger than that in person.” Is that an attack, an insult or sharing information? Certainly, it’s not positive or fun or lighthearted. You could say that kind of information belongs in the review section, however, I will argue that if anything is being discussed, especially positive information, the negative needs just as much attention. If a provider posts pictures, are “You look great, girl!” and “HAWT PICTURES!!! +!0000!” the only things we can post? If someone has an experience with a provider that is not alert worthy per the guidelines of that section, no session took place, but they feel that others should be warned about it, this becomes the only place that experience can be posted. Would that be considered a personal attack or being rude? XXXX (well known provider) has made 10 unsolicited calls to me in the last 4 weeks thread – alert, attack, insult, or review?
There needs to be some common sense applied to guidelines like this, and I have seen that many of the people who want positivity, respect, “less drama” lack common sense and tend to drum up their own share of drama.

“whereas in the recent past, some might have felt that self-policing was necessary to quash the vitriol, we now have a full staff of moderators”

I sure hope to see less of the “self-policing” around here.

"White Knight" is a useful descriptor. It even has its own emoticon, see?

"Hooktard" is off limits for Co-Ed discussion. Site rules, and using it in anger (as opposed to the meta-discussion here) will earn you points. This has already been established, here and elsewhere. It is as disrepectful as you can get here and will not be tolerated. If you can't phrase your criticism of another member without using that term, try harder.

"Fucktard"... well, as you said, it's all about intent. Using it in anger will earn you points as well, since it's a very clear violation of the guidelines above (regardless of everything else, it's fairly disrespectful).

Negative information will absolutely not be censored. We have very clear guidelines to follow. Criticism does not fall outside of those, nor does provoked hostility. We will give quite a bit of leeway in especially contentious threads, although we may roll our eyes to ourselves a lot.

Points/official warnings will not be the answer of first resort in many cases - some members can already attest they've had a friendly tap on the shoulder these past few days. However in the event of blatant abuse, we can and will act.

If a provider posts pictures, are “You look great, girl!” and “HAWT PICTURES!!! +!0000!” the only things we can post?

Of course not, though if there is criticism, I would hope it was respectful in nature - "Sorry, not for me" as opposed to "Shit, why would anyone be in the same room with you, you pig". We're not looking for a cheering section, but we're not looking to replicate the Lord of the Flies experience, either.

If someone has an experience with a provider that is not alert worthy per the guidelines of that section, no session took place, but they feel that others should be warned about it, this becomes the only place that experience can be posted.

This actually is not true. You can post a review where no activity took place in the reviews section. You will not get PA credit for it, but that absolutely is the appropriate place for it, and is also where prospective clients are more likely to search.

There needs to be some common sense applied to guidelines like this, and I have seen that many of the people who want positivity, respect, “less drama” lack common sense and tend to drum up their own share of drama.

I'm not sure if repeating that "we're not going to play favorites" and "we will enforce these guidelines equally" any more than I already have will help. Suffice it to say that indeed common sense will be applied going forward.

Suffice it to say that indeed common sense will be applied going forward.

That is the best thing I have heard on this board in a very long time.
Great Job!!!

For some reason, the Ship of Theseus comes to mind?

But seriously, I appreciate the clarification of the rules and am very excited for our new Awesome Austin Mod Squad.

Love the new law enforcement in town. Will do my best to follow the rules.