Girlfriend Jokes

Q: What did the artist say to his girlfriend?
A: I really love you with all my art!
Q: What book do women like the most?
A: "Their boyfriends paycheck!"
Q: What is loud and obnoxious?
A: Your Girlfriend.
Q: Why is life like a penis?
A: Your girlfriend make it hard!
Q: How do you know your girlfriend is getting fat?
A: She fits into your wife's clothes.
Q: What does your girlfriend and a condom got in common?
A: If they're not on your dick they're in your wallet.
Q: What's 6 inches long, 2 inches wide and drives your girlfriend wild?
A: A $100 bill.
Q: What do you call your ex-girlfriend with Pms and Esp?
A: A bitch who thinks she knows everything.
Q: What do you call a girlfriend with an opinion?
A: Wrong. Boyfriend: Wanna see a magic trick? Girlfriend: Sure, babe. Boyfriend: BAM! You're single.
Q: Why did God give men penises?
A: So they'd have at least one way to shut their girlfriends up.
Q: Why is a girlfriend like a laxative?
A: They both irritate the shit out of you.
Q: Why did God invent the yeast infection?
A: So your girlfriend know what it's like to live with an irritating cunt.
Q: How do you turn your girlfriend into an elephant?
A: Marry Her!
Q: What do you call a woman who loves small dicks?
A: Hopefully your girlfriend.
Q: What do you call a musician without a girlfriend?
A: Homeless.
Q: How many men does it take to open a beer?
A: None, it should be opened when your girlfriend brings it to you.
Q: What's worse than a male chauvinistic pig?
A: A girlfriend that won't do what she's told.
Q: What does fucking your girlfriend and cooking an egg in the microwave have in common?
A: Both end with a loud, annoying sound and a gooey mess to clean up.
Q: What’s the difference between a Catholic girlfriend and a Jewish girlfriend?
A: A Catholic girlfriend has real orgasms and fake jewelry.

Q: What do you call a woman who loves small dicks?
A: Hopefully your girlfriend.

This one was cute...