regarding hotel bars

For the last several months I've been taking time off from my "real life responsibilities" and have been touring.

I always dress conservative like in my real life job, nice suite, skirt to knee, heels ect. try to never stay too long or late. While having a glass of wine, several men within the last month have stop to say hello and whisper their room number in my ear. wtf?

I go the extra mile to NOT bring attention to myself. I don't blur my face, I cut my head off in photos. I'm very soft spoken, I don't swear like a sailor( at least not in public). Last night the woman at the end of of the bar was drunk and acting like a total slut...at the other end was me being quite and board.... and I got a room number from one guy and a wink from the other.....it made me paranoid.

Question? How can these situations be handled discreetly so that both parties can have a happy ending?

I dont travel to hotels that offen for biz.....my biz is well you know what I do with my SN...but I would think that if you are looking for a play for play at this hotel......meet him up in his room and comeout and tell him.......you dont give it away for free and she what he says........if he really wants you, he will be like the rest of the guys here and reach into his wallet.........or if you are NOT looking for any attention......just slip a ring on your left hand and tell him that you are well satisified at home and not intrested..........

This is an intresting post....I am looking fwd to following this one for a while.

A single attractive woman sitting at a hotel bar alone.

I am sure, I would offer to buy you a glass of wine. Being conservatively dressed, I would not guess, or make an attempt to guess that you were in the bar to pick up business.

I use to travel 100% for work, I have gotten lucky at the hotel bar a few times, struck out way more than I ever succeeded.
Depending on your mood, You could give a guy a story that he would be talking about for years. (Might even make it to the "Dear Penthouse" fame)

But I think if you go the other way with it and turn it into a business proposal, depending on where in the country you are and what type of hotel, it might be bad news, but then again it might not.

The simplest thing would be to pass your phone number along and go from there, you can get a feel for the other party's feel and attitude from a distance that way.

Just My nickles worth.

A paranoid provider - imagine that. Don't blame you though. Wish I had your problem (except with women of course).
I do travel a lot and I have seen a lot of things at a lot of hotel and restaurant bars all over the United States. I know bartenders and waitresses that use the fake ring trick and that will curtail some of the action if you are not really looking for it.
I know and have seen a lot of women traveling alone that will come get their wine or drink and just take it back to their room.
Bottom line, if you are woman sitting at a bar by yourself at a hotel full of businessmen who are drinking and enjoying their time away from the monotony of home life ... well, lets just say some are going to try to get what they can.
As far as being discreet and looking for the win/win, not sure ... kind of a tricky situation. I have actually cornered women (that I already knew were interested) when they came out of the restroom or by the elevator. Its gonna have to be away from the bar though.

Hi Dakota Lynn,

I tried to look through all my posts to see where I had a conversation last year with a provider on this very subject, but couldn't find it. Anyway, she suggested that if you are a hotel bar and men react to you that way and give you their hotel numbers, etc, to have business cards ready. Maybe just something with your name and phone number. That would be the best way to do it I think. You can get business cards pretty cheap at vistaprint. I hope that helps.

Next time I am "out of town" I am going to have a provider friend show up at the hotel bar where I have been nursing a beer and watching sports. To set the scene, I could pass for Captain Kangaroo. The provider is an absolutely stunning blonde. I am going to point her out to the guy next to me at the bar. I am going to suggest a friendly bet to see if one of us could get the blonde to leave with him. Of course he'll strike out while I get her to leave with me after a minute or two of conversation. The bet won't pay for the night, but it will be a hell of a lot of fun to look at the expression on the loser's face!

I can't quote long posts in iPad, so to the guy that "corners" women that he "knows" are interested when they go to the bathroom............this is terrible advice. Sure, you might be right, but more often than not men completely and utterly tend to overestimate their appeal to strange women.

For instance, if I'm by myself at a hotel bar, I will be pleasant to the people around me. This is common courtesy. This is often taken as an invitation to hit on me until I have to move my seat. If one of those guys cornered me outside of the bathroom I would alert hotel security.

I would think this would be pretty dangerous. No screening or references? A civi hookup is one thing but if things go wrong involving a pro who do you think the hotel is going to side with?

I would guess that there exists no reason to be paranoid. The guys are paying a compliment to your appeal. Especially when in the presence of an obnoxious drunken slut at the other end of the bar, I believe the guys were validating their desire to be with a woman like you, and not like the other woman.

As a man, I can tell you there is something intoxicating about the 'mystery woman'. And we will occasionally do crazy things in an attempt to score with her.

Just play the game ! If it's someone you would like to spend time with, then roll with it. If not...just reject him, and believe me...the guy will usually move on.

I would think this would be pretty dangerous. No screening or references? A civi hookup is one thing but if things go wrong involving a pro who do you think the hotel is going to side with? Originally Posted by oden

I would agree with this.

If not...just reject him, and believe me...the guy will usually move on. Originally Posted by funagain2

Have you not actually ever met a man at a bar?

Alcohol causes men to think"it seemed like a good idea at the time"

I may be misinterpreting the OP, but I think she is not trying to drum up business but just wants to be left alone. Based on her post, I think she has enough sense to recognize that the risks are too high to allow herself to pick up "walk-ins" this way. This could easily be a cop, or the hotel security, trying to keep the establishment clear of all 'bad' apples that could spoil the hotel's reputation.

What do I think it is? In no order of preference, and I have never met the lady in question, so no derogatory statements about her.

1. First option is just what I said, this is either a cop or hotel security.

2. Too many businessmen have seen the commercials and lousy television/movies where that is how a traveling businessman picks up a hot traveling business woman. They may actually think that a lady is attracted to this method or they at least think they are playing this game the right way.

3. There is something about this lady that just attracts strange guys with no class who think they are God's gift to women and that women will fall all over themselves for a romp with them. Some women just can't help the vibes they put off.

In my case, I would never do something as crass. If I felt bold, I might either send a drink over to a lady or walk over to her and offer to buy her a drink. Then we would just see where the cards fell, with no deep expectations on my part.

How would I pick the lady I wanted to approach, assuming there were multiple ladies to target? I would probably pick the quiet one, the classy looking lady who knew how to dress and how to behave in public. I would avoid a drunk (what if she regrets it when she sobers up?), a noisy, obnoxious woman (what if she blabs to others or makes a scene on the way up to the room?). I also am going to try to choose a lady who is age/race/dress compatible. I am an old white guy who sometimes may be dressed in a suit for a presentation and sometimes might be dressed in jeans and work boots from an installation project. If I am dressed in a suit, a 19 year old, black girl (under 35 is a girl in my book) is going to look a bit strange entering my hotel room. A 45 year old gal in ripped jeans is probably going to stand out. A conservatively dressed 45 - 50 year old white woman joining me will not look so strange.

In any event, I think any guy who tried to pick up a lady in a bar in this manner would be rude and crude and putting himself at risk of being busted, and any lady accepting such an invitation would be putting herself at multiple risks with the lack of screening.

Thinking it's one of two answers; " be there in 15" or "sorry, no thank you" - js

Ah, the old hotel bar scene. I actually role-played this out during my last encounter with a provider. Of course, the whole thing was pre-planned. It worked out nicely, even got some fun entertainment as it was karaoke night.

I've been on many a business trip, and yes, it is a sad but true state of affairs. Men view a hotel bar as the place to pickup women for a one night stand. Most of the time, it is with civie women attending the same conference or some other conference. Think of it as the "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas" mentality. While I'm not the brazen type to hit on these women, I would be more than willing to go back to a room with a lady (if she were my type) regardless of whether she were a civie or a provider IF she hit on me. Actually, the only reason I sometimes even find myself in a hotel bar is the off chance there is a provider working the bar. I would tend to think this is a common practice-- especially during convention/conference season.