A man in rural Minnesota wakes up one
morning to find a bear on his roof. So he
looks in the yellow pages, and sure enough,
there's an ad for "Up North Bear Removers."
He calls the number, and the bear remover
says he'll be over in 30 minutes.
The bear remover arrives, and gets out of
his van. He's got a ladder, a baseball bat,
a 12-gauge shotgun, and a mean old pit
bulldog.
"What are you going to do?" the homeowner
asks.
"I'm going to put this ladder up against the
roof, then I'm going to go up there, and
knock the bear off the roof with this baseball
bat. When the bear falls off the roof, the pit
bull is trained to grab his testicles, and not
let go. The bear will then be subdued enough
for me to put him in the cage in the back of
the van."
He then hands the shotgun to the homeowner.
"What's the shotgun for?" asks the homeowner.
"If the bear knocks me off the roof, shoot the
f--kin' dog."