Lazy providers wanting refs....

Kayleehotchick's Avatar
I've elected to put this in the coed section hoping to more providers will read this vs the girly sections.

I'm all about giving refs. Granted, sometimes I may not realize that a provider has called and so yes, I HAVE missed a chance to give a ref, but NEVER on purpose. Until last night.

I got a text (which I really don't like from providers for refs, but I will answer).

It was from a Austin number.

The provider wanted to verify a hobbyist (gave me his name).

The provider didn't say hi, please or thank you. Hell, she didn't even tell me who she was.

That by far was the laziest thing I have ever seen.

This is how I look at it....

If a provider, can't give me basic info, like telling me who she is (and I don't need a please or thank you, but it DOES get you a super fast response. Respect goes along way) than, sorry, I'm not going to burn the calories to even respond to that text.

Ladies, don't get so lazy that you send lame text wanting a ref and not included who you are. I mean, for all we know, it could be L.E, or a wife. If it is YOU who is going to earn the money off the appt, then it should be YOU who makes sure that you get all the info needed to the provider who you need a ref from. Had she at least told me her name, I would text back and asked her to pm me (without naming this site) so I could verify she is a legit provider.

Yes, I could have answered her asking who she is. Yes, I could have googled her number but if she is that lazy in seeking a ref, then I'm NOT going to jump through hoop trying helping her out.

It may sound bitchy...

Ladies, if you want a ref from a provider. It is advisable to let her know WHO she is talking to and please try to include as much info about the hobbyist you want a ref about. Remember, getting a ref is not something a provider HAS to do (but should do). So make it easy for her to get back with you. After all, it is YOU who will be making the money off the appt, NOT her therefore, YOU should do all the work needed, NOT HER.

So if your the provider who sent me the text last night, please feel free to pm me and I will be more then happy to answer. Otherwise, unless I know who I'm talking to, you're not going to get a response.



I had one send me a reference request that was like filling out an employment application ending with this amazing sentence:

"Please provider links to your reviews so I know you are legit."

It made me laugh Talk about lazy! Plus not understanding that she's asking ME the favor, not vice versa. Either research me yourself, or ask the hobbyist for the links.

I gave her the reference but added "I don't have links to my reviews handy."

and of course she didn't thank me. (But at least she didn't chew me out for not following her instructions LOL!)
Kayleehotchick's Avatar
Wow....you were much kinder then I would have been.

Yes, I would have gave her a ref, but I would have told her that there was NO WAY I was going to do that much work to help HER out. And I agree, it is UP to her to make sure YOU are legit. LOL
Totally agree...

My typcal message (or text) is... "Hey girl. Amber Rain here from EC... looking for a ref on "john1234567"... says you will remember him by the big dog in your cage (example) that you let out because he wasn't scared of it. His phone number is (123) 456-5678 and real name is "JOHN DOE." Please get back to me when you can. Thanks so much. Amber."

Have all your facts straight.... get to the point... and that way.. it's not back and forth with her or the guy all day.

TOTALLY AGREE on this one Kaylee.
Good post.
  • CGrey
  • 11-11-2012, 08:36 AM
Color me a newbie, so maybe I don't understand. Does posting a negative rant like this accomplish anything? Please read this with an understanding of the naivety in which it is posted. Is this just therapeutic griping because you need a release? Will this type of post actually change behavior? Are there guys out there attracted to this kind of vibe? I came here to get happy, but maybe that's just me. Guess I have a lot to learn.
Color me a newbie, so maybe I don't understand. Does posting a negative rant like this accomplish anything? Please read this with an understanding of the naivety in which it is posted. Is this just therapeutic griping because you need a release? Will this type of post actually change behavior? Are there guys out there attracted to this kind of vibe? I came here to get happy, but maybe that's just me. Guess I have a lot to learn. Originally Posted by CGrey
This rant isn't for you, CGrey. And welcome to ECCIE, by the way.

But since you're a newbie, this should give you insight into the troubles ladies have getting to meet you, so you CAN get happy. References can be a sore spot and can impede progress, so I am newbie friendly with screening, if that means anything to you. Learn to take the good from the bad, darling. You may just learn something. What I would hope is that it changes is how ladies take care of business on the back end. This makes things so much easier on the front end.

I agree Kaylee! I don't think the phone is the best way to give or accept a reference, especially if you haven't emailed a person first. You don't know who you're speaking to, and you literally have to check these chicks out too. I know ladies who have outed clients by giving references to wives.

In HoneyRose's situation, she would've got the reference, but I would have told her to Google me!
pyramider's Avatar
Color me a newbie, so maybe I don't understand. .... Guess I have a lot to learn. Originally Posted by CGrey
Yeppers
  • CGrey
  • 11-11-2012, 09:40 AM
This rant isn't for you, CGrey. And welcome to ECCIE, by the way.

But since you're a newbie, this should give you insight into the troubles ladies have getting to meet you, so you CAN get happy. References can be a sore spot and can impede progress, so I am newbie friendly with screening, if that means anything to you. Learn to take the good from the bad, darling. You may just learn something. What I would hope is that it changes is how ladies take care of business on the back end. This makes things so much easier on the front end.

I agree Kaylee! I don't think the phone is the best way to give or accept a reference, especially if you haven't emailed a person first. You don't know who you're speaking to, and you literally have to check these chicks out too. I know ladies who have outed clients by giving references to wives.

In HoneyRose's situation, she would've got the reference, but I would have told her to Google me! Originally Posted by Tiffani Jameson
Thanks for the welcome. One last stupid question... If this isn't for me, why post where I can read it? Seems like dirty laundry should be able to be aired out of the site of the client. Is there something I am supposed to be able to do with this information? IDK, just seems like happier thoughts would attract happier clients, but maybe that's just me.
A provider who is rude to a fellow provider will be rude to the client/hobbyist who saw you. Do him a favor and do not respond and tell your client later why you did not. This is natural selection at work:good behavoir gets passed on and re-inforced, bad behavoir gets rejected and eliminated.
I think you should have decided not to post on this thread, CGrey. You're making yourself look like an ass. It has to to do with making a public suggestion for providers since not all providers have access to infoshare or powder room.

Providers who would like references should know: You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.
  • CGrey
  • 11-11-2012, 10:20 AM
I think you should have decided not to post on this thread, CGrey. You're making yourself look like an ass. It has to to do with making a public suggestion for providers since not all providers have access to infoshare or powder room.

Providers who would like references should know: You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. Originally Posted by voyeuristicallyspeaking
Thanks, I think this is exactly what I was missing.
Thanks for the welcome. One last stupid question... If this isn't for me, why post where I can read it? Seems like dirty laundry should be able to be aired out of the site of the client. Is there something I am supposed to be able to do with this information? IDK, just seems like happier thoughts would attract happier clients, but maybe that's just me. Originally Posted by CGrey
Firstly, you made quite an entrance, considering your first message should have been maybe to introduce yourself to the community. Then we'd be able to talk about the actual TOPIC of the thread instead of letting you hijack it.

Secondly, this site isn't only for your amusement, it's for your education. I don't know where you stand as a newbie, whether you've met a lady or not. But I would think that as a newbie to this board, and as a (hopefully) reasonably intelligent man, you would deduct from the thread what you are supposed to.

Also, learn to understand what you control: YOU. Your negative thoughts aren't helping the atmosphere either. If you're unhappy with this thread, there are others on which you can express your opinions and they would fit a whole lot better. Go to one of the threads where they're bashing women, or talking about who does what best, or start your own thread.

You are right. This board could use a dose of happy. Maybe you can be that catalyst for change on ECCIE.
Kayleehotchick's Avatar
CGrey,

I UNDERSTAND your confusion. I DID STATE WHY, I wrote it in the coed section.

It WASN'T a rant in the least bit. But, please understand, a providers on BOTH ends of the spectrum SHOULD be careful. Why, not only for her sake, but for the HOBBYIST sake.

Do I think, she was a legit provider? Yes. But if SHE NOT is going to be careful enough, to provide enough info for me to VERIFY that she is a LEGIT provider, I'm NOT going to jump through the hoops to help her out.

How do I know this text isn't from the hobbyist wife? What if I RESPONDED to her and said he is okay not knowing jack doo doo about this person sending me this text? If it is a wife, and I response with NO IDEA who this person is, I'm could REALLY be messing up the hobbyist world and that would be TOTALLY WRECKLESS on my part. But all be darn am I going to go digging around just to find out if this chick is legit or not. If she can't tell me who she is, I can't help her. Period, end of story.

Maybe my thread came off a little crass but it should be common sense to all providers to let the other provider know who she is talking too.

Amber has a perfect example HOW to contact a provider for a ref. I KNOW who I'm talking to. She has sent me info I can verify as far as the hobbyist and more then likely I would text her and tell her I sent her a pm just to be extra safe.

Remember, YOUR safety depends on HOW RESPONSIBLE a provider is. And I DID the RESPONSIBLE thing for the hobbyist by NOT responding to her. But at same token, using the situation is hopes to help other providers keep themselves AND their CLIENTS SAFE! AND get the ref needed so both parties has have some good old fashion hot adult fun!
Busyboy_2006's Avatar
Kaylee,
I think you are spot on. I am trying to imagine if she was that lame with a ref request, how good was the session for the hobbyist?
pyramider's Avatar
This thread needs some taint.