I've noticed a number of threads about those of us that - have a diff time getting it up - keeping it up - finishing etc. I think a lot of us are just getting older (I'm mid 50's) or all those anti psychotic and other medications are just getting to us. I have found 2 things that help - especially when choosing a provider:
The over 35 crowd certainly understand, don't judge, go slow and realize that it's mostly between our ears that our problems lay. If you are up front - admit your not the rock hard stud you used to be - they are most accomadating. The time element - the dreaded cover (a must for some things) etc. They know these things and can help out if they know.
The second is most of us have a hard time letting go of the young things, but we just can't keep up with them anymore. I love eating pussy - most all pussy - and especially that young plump kind. I find that if I can find the young one who truly loves a man who knows what he doing in this area and she can relax for the first half of the session and just receive, I wind up with a hard-on that can certainly go the distance. The trouble is finding the young babes that don't know that they don't have to jump your bones for an hour or two. Some of us just want to play with our toys for a while.
Works for me anyway.