When Life Happens... How do you handle it?

In this business, or this hobby, we have all had moments when things didn't go as planned. Ladies have had men cancel last minute, and Gents have had ladies do it, due to some circumstance beyond their control. I am almost willing to BET, that everyone reading this thread right now, had either had to cancel.., or have had someone do it. It may not have been anyones fault.

I have had men actually be in my incall, and get a phone call from their wives, or their job, and actually have to leave. What if I got so angry at him, I threatened to put it in the gals section of this board, so other girls would know that he "cancelled"...? Or his wife came home early from work, and I exclaim "How could you NOT know that your wife is coming home from work early"..?? Even the President makes mistakes, and sometimes what we plan on.. just doesn't go our way. Right?

I have cancelled appts before. My daughter broke her wrist. I cancelled. My electric went out in the whole building. I cancelled. I suddenly fell ill. I cancelled. All were given a discount if they could reschedule. Some did. Some didn't. Life happens. We as providers aren't perfect, and Neither are you. This isn't a perfect world. We have lives outside the hobby, just as you do.

I said all of that to say this.

I had a gentleman call me yesterday. He was so down to earth, we talked damn near 40 minutes. Decided on this morning at 9 am for a 90 minute appt. In the mean time, playful pics and texts and were exchanged. I was looking forward to the appt, as much as he was, just because he was such a nice guy! Got up this morning, cleaned house, checked emails. My sister informs me she has an appt at 9:30. I had one scheduled for 9...And because we didn't communicate, and her appt was made first, I politely asked my appt if he could do 1030. He agreed. Assuming her appt was only an hour... but it was 2. I politely ask again... if we can move to 12. He agrees.

Then... you guessed it. Something else happens.

I had been noticing it was kind of getting warmer in my house. It has been 105 the last week.. and I have the air set on 70. My thermostat reads 76.
The AC unit has gone out of my house. 78. 81, 83. I make a phone call. They will be here shortly to fix it. And there is no way I can do a massage in a house thats 90 degrees. I have to cancel.

I text my appointment, and explain. Offered the discount. Pled my case.
His answer was..."NO".

He said:

"This was all bullshit from the go anyway".

I was polite. I said I understood, I apologized.

Then he pulls out his 'Big Guns".

"You don't mind if I tell the board about this do ya?"

This being after he told me yesterday, he never posted much....

The moral of the story is... this day has been pretty shitty. I realize my sis and I could have communicated better... and that part was probably my fault. Got it. But when any type of crisis strikes, don't fault US.. because WE don't fault you. Like I said. Life Happens to all of us. There is no reason to "Threaten" us with bad reviews, and postings. To curse in text messages, or tell us how "un-organized" we are. We are people too, and we are not machines. Everyone has a REAL LIFE outside of this hobby. Cars break down, kids get sick, wives show up... and Air conditioners go out.

It's all how you handle it.

and Air conditioners go out.

It's all how you handle it.

Originally Posted by Caitlyn

Yes, air conditioners do go out - mine did Friday and could not get a new unit in until Monday. Yeah you guessed it, no A/C for the weekend but didn't really bother me but would not want a lady to come to my place with no A/C.

Everyone is going to believe what they want to believe and, from what you stated, did everything you could to make things right. Another way to look at it is, though, some guys only have a limited time frame as to when they can hobby. Oh well.....

Take care,
CanDo01

Don't sweat the small stuff. No pun intended. Okay, so it was intended.

Caitlyn:

I feel for you and I feel for him...

Couple of things...could he have handled it better? sure...but, then again...you may not know his situation. For me, it completely urkes me when i get canceled on...I have to move mountains to set a time. But, like you said...shit happens. I give a person ONE chance...one do over if you will. I think he did that with you. it was the chorus of a perfect storm that happened to you, and though it may have all been true, just sounds unlikely. It sounds like he gave you several chances but it didnt happen for you.

Furthermore...there may have been mitigating outside circumstances that "broke the camel's back" if you will...i remember i went off on a provider for canceling last minute for what seemed to be a good reason...but what she didn't know was for whatever reason, at no fault of hers, i was in a FUNK where it was increasingly difficult to get an appointment out of any provider...I later apologized to her and we went our separate ways.

I want to commend you for handling his threat the way you did...we have seen WAY TOO MUCH drama on the board lately...if he feels obligated to inform others...you prolly cant do anything about that.

Good luck and keep going...

Shit happens and life's not fair. But why automatically pile on the guy? She laments how much trouble he went to just to see her and how flexible he was only to be disappointed. And what happens? Posters automatically jump in to flame him. Were I him I also wouldn't be anywhere near the vicinity of happy. But her explanation is reasonable. He may cool down and come back. He may read her explanation and shrug it off. But if not, he'll move on; so will she. Give the both of them a break. The way I see it, he has a right to be pissed. But she did the right thing to explain. I see no reason to flame the dude or her.

Shit happens and life's not fair. But why automatically pile on the guy? She laments how much trouble he went to just to see her and how flexible he was only to be disappointed. And what happens? Posters automatically jump in to flame him................ I see no reason to flame the dude or her. Originally Posted by Gonzo DFW

I just re-read all the posts here and I did not see flames of any kind. Am I missing something? I don't see anyone getting dog-piled here. All I see is very reasonable discussion for a change....

Unfortunately, life does happen. Today, I was having a Monday and had to apologize to my client for spilling it on him. I'll give extra time to make up for it, I'll add something to the session or pick up his favorite cocktail or coffee. Whatever it takes to make it up. I genuinely want my clients to feel comfortable rescheduling. Out of all the providers in DFW, they chose to see me. Who knows what else has happened in their day so I try to be patient and accommodating.

Sometimes, everything goes sideways and you have to concede that it's just not meant to be. So, roll with it. We are in the relaxation business and if we get tense every time something goes wrong, well, we need to look into a different line of work.

The "rolling" nature of the time changes probably got to him, as that is sometimes a prelude to a no show. That and he may have had a set and limited time and/ or was did not have a plan b so he was left high and dry so to speak.

You made your case, if he reads it... who knows? Good luck.... why do a/c units only break when it is 100? ( Mine broke yesterday)

If you are in this "hobby" for any length of time cancellations are gonna happen. I just hope when it does I get at least an hours notice. It sucks driving all that way and taking your little helper in advance of needing the performance enhancer only to be left with bitter taste of cancellation and a stiffy with side effects. Shit happens, all we ask is enough notice and don't bullshit us. I think Caitlyn's emergency sounds reasonable enough and the guy should take a chill pill and hope he had a plan B.

Well at least you called or texted the whole time.....that counts and offered him a discount, that was gracious of you.

Im sure he was disappointed because he took time out of his day to be able to see you. Maybe he had to move alot of stuff around to come later. Who knows. He may cool off and have a change of heart.

Caitlyn some people just don't get it, you text and keep him informed the only other thing you could have done was said the A/C is out but if you want a hot massage come on over then the monkey would have been on his back.

Hind sight you have to love it.

Don't jink it!!!!

I just re-read all the posts here and I did not see flames of any kind. Am I missing something? I don't see anyone getting dog-piled here. All I see is very reasonable discussion for a change.... Originally Posted by Dannie

Back to the a/c issue.

Right now, we are having a huge number of compressor failures all over the city. Here are some ways to help prevent yours from failing if at all possible. These are not cures BUT might make yours continue through this sort of nasty heat.

Change the dang filters. At least once a month. If dirty and clogged, they make the interior fan work harder which keeps the air flow decreased so it doesn't cool as well.

Might want to see if you can actually get to and clean the coils in the house. they are called the "A" coils to most people because they are shaped like an A inside and the air comes up from the open end to pass out through the top of the A. Many people with cats and other animals, but especially cats, find them fouled with hair and dirt and they WILL end your unit early.

Keep window blinds and shades closed on the west side of the house once noon has passed. Unless you are using solar screens, the direct sun does and WILL heat up the interior air quite a bit. Ever remember those old "Only you can prevent forest fires" where a glass bottle left in the sun sparks a fire? Guess what? It can heat up the air inside your house in a smiliar way.

Check the outside unit (the condensor). There are skads of cotton wood trees all over DFW and they shoot poolen all over the place and the pollen can block the air flow dang near completely meaning you are not getting air through the outdoor coils.

IF you have a lot of crap on those coils, you can purchase a stright wire brush and going in the same directions of the coils ONLY, mainly up and down, wipe the crap from the coils.

IF you are mechanical, go buy some coil cleaner, turn off the unit. Remove the blower fan on the top and move it to one side. Spray the cleaner on the coils and let it sit per the instructions. Do this early in the morning before it really heats up and it will not be as big a pain in the ass.

Spraying from the INSIDE the fan only and only directly at the coils so you don't bend them in any way, spray water from the inside the unit towards the outside the unit. Spraying from the outside in simply pushes dirt and crap further into the coils. You don't need high pressure, just enough so the water comes through to the outside. Make sure you get as much of the coils as you can.

Reassemble and turn on.

IF you had a lot of gunk on the outside, you really need to do that service at least once a month when the a/c is in service.

I hope this helps others prevent their condensor from burning up.

FYI. The old a/c units were R-22. IF your old outside unit goes out, expect to pay a premium for a new one. New units are all a completely different type of coolant (freon is the common word) and they cannot mix a new outside with an old inside part).

Buying a new unit in the winter can save a HUGE amount of cash. Right now, installers are charging at least 4 times their normal rate and are still working dawn to dusk installing new units so keeping it going is critical if it can be saved or helped with some minor maintenance.

Lastly. Many people hate going into their attic to change filters because it is so hot. If your unit is in the attic, do it before the sun comes up. It WILL still be hot but will hopefully not fry your brains when you head up the stairs.

Good luck and hopefully no one else has to incur the cost for a new unit if that is what happened to Caitlyn.

"small thing....pun intended." OK. You say tomato, I say.... Matters not to me. But maybe Dharma expressed it better than I did. And I'll buy that.

"small thing....pun intended." OK. You say tomato, I say.... Matters not to me. Originally Posted by Gonzo DFW

Pun was on sweat, not small. Sweat...a/c went out...oh never mind....

TOMATO.