We need some jokes here....

An 80 year old man went to The AC to pick up a prostitute and get some action. He noticed one hooker in particular and started flirting with her. The prostitute started becoming annoyed and said, "Get lost old man! You're ruining business!"

"Sure would like to get some action tonight," said the old man.

"You've got to be kidding! You're too old! You're all finished."

"What did you say?" asked the old man.

"You heard me - you're all finished."

"Oh," replied the old man, "how much do I owe you?"

There was this professor at SUNY that was known for his off color remarks during lectures. A group of feminists that attended these lectures were ready to stage a protest; at the next lecture they would walk out en masse at the first inappropriate remark.

The very next day the Prof got wind of this and was very careful to watch his comments until the time was right. Then, about halfway through the lecture he said "Did you know that France is experiencing a serious shortage of hookers?"

As the group of women got up and started to file out he added:

"Ladies, there is no hurry, the next plane doesn't leave for another 4 hours"

An older guy was asked if he wore Boxers or Briefs. He said..."Depends".

A man approached his minister and told him that he thought his wife was trying to poison him.
The minister told the man he would speak with the wife.
A few days later, the man approached the minister.
The minister told the man -- I spent five hours talking to and LISTENING to your wife.
Take the Poison.

Two guys sitting, drinking in a bar talking about their wives.
First one says his wife died and how he misses her because she was an angel.
The other responds, your lucky mine is still alive.....

BARTENDER JOKE OF THE WEEK A blonde driving a car became lost in a snowstorm. She didn't panic however, because she remembered what her dad had once told her. "If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, just wait for a snow plow to come by and follow it." Sure enough, pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it. She followed the plow for about forty-five minutes. Finally the driver of the truck got out and asked her what she was doing. And she explained that her dad had told her if she ever got stuck in a snow storm, to follow a plow. The driver nodded and said, "Well, I'm done with the Wal-Mart parking lot, do you want to follow me over to Best Buy now?"

Two blondes are watching the news one evening when the anchorman announced that three Brazilian soldiers were killed today.

One blonde looks at the other and exclaims: “I wonder how many three brazilian is?”

Drum roll please!

Pirate walks into a bar and the bartender says " Good god man, you've got a ships wheel attached to your crotch"

Pirate responds "Y'ar, it be drivin me nuts"

so this baby seal walks into a club.............


badumpppp

So when I woke this morning my bf was dead:'(.... So I decided to hop on him and ride him while he was still stiff, one last time...

To my surprise he shouted "BOO!"

Some ppl are just sick :/ lol

Good old monkey joke.......

http://www.bofunk.com/video/5281/mon...ling_joke.html

The military's gonna send skinny people up to Alaska...so they can come back Husky Fuckers.

The blonde nurse was told go draw blood from mr.jones she replied what color