Sub is Not a dirty word........

Ms. Athena's Avatar
I have had some questions as to why I call myself a Mistress, this was a role I feel I have been involving into for years, but had not allowed myself the freedom to do so. Once I discovered Prostate Stimuli and how I loved the control over the mans intense pleasure, I knew I wanted more!! Thus I involved into the world of Kink, Fantasies and Fetishes. While exploring and growing into my new role I have meet some great people, whom have helped me along in my journey into Kink. The following is a brief insight into some variations of "roles" some of us fulfill......Everyone has their own insight on these titles:
Dominatrix: definitely a woman who gets paid for her services, does not even have to be a lifestyle Dominant, could even be a slave to a Master, but ordered by him to bring in money.
Often she does not even listen all that well to the desires of the client, but just repeats the same scenario as she sees fit.
It is a cold situation, get in, pay, get played, get the fuck out...

Mistress: this woman is very often also a pro, like Mistress Precious, but this is much more an intimate (higher quality) setting, she gets to know her client pretty well, and does very much gives the client what he/she wants, but also pushing limits.
Very often this is a repeat type situation, and a certain relationship develops, in which she also very much cares for her client, like after care.
This is where you'll find the very wealthy clients, who would not think about visiting a Dominatrix.

Domme: an entirely different classification, where there are a lot of gray area's, as in how to explain.
More often than not, this is an actual relationship, with one or more slaves, and a mixture of female and male actual slaves, or as close as they can be in their mind-set.
The play can be one on one, or with more than one at the same time, plus there is sometimes an actual theme of sorts during the session.

Dominant/Top: this can be very much an agreement between two, or again more people, where there is not really a relationship, but more like a setting where contact is made if either party feels the need to play or be played.
The Top takes on a role of "service Top" , just like one cannot tickle or spank oneself, thus there is the need to have someone else to come in to do it for ya.

Slave: this is where he/she feels it in their bones, or as I call it "has a true slave heart" .
They are usually not allowed on furniture, or in bed with Master, and there are strict rules for clothing as well.
Their main goal is to serve and please their Master at all levels, and can be there for Master in service only, like no sexual play at all, but merely takes care of his/her household and whatever else needs done.
It will then be done within certain protocols, set by the Master in accordance with the mental needs of the slave in mind.
That having been said, it can, and usually does, also include a huge sexual component, where the slave really does not have much say so, he/she will submit to anything Master commands.
This relationship involves a tremendous amount of high protocol behavior and situations.
This is a relationship indeed, and usually is at the 24/7 level, and if done right, eventually will include a collaring ceremony, which for both parties should have more meaning even than a marriage.

Submissive: a lot of what I wrote for the slave comes into play here as well, like service, however, the 24/7 component is mostly not at play here, plus the submissive has input on most levels as well.
For instance, the sub can request and suggest that a certain form of play will take place next time the sub meets with the Dominant, plus the Dominant thinks about what he/she can do to make it very pleasant for the sub.

Bottom: this is usually a person that enjoys being played, the level of play differing from person to person, plus it mostly does not involve a submissive/slave-like mindset.
It really is just play, and he/she seeks out a person that they trust and play them the way they require.
Thus, they set it all up, tell the (service) Top what they need, usually have their own toys, and "submit" their body for the duration of the scene only, and then immediately go back to "normal" or just vanilla even.

....and then there is S/switch: the word explains it very well really.
But a S/switch usually is a bottom or a Top, they normally do not venture into the submissive or Dominant role, but can very well be.
A lot of folks, especially the ones who are always Dominant, sort of look down on these types with a "make up your damn mind" attitude.
I disagree with the latter, I say they get the best of both worlds, really, if you think about it.
advatar121's Avatar
I would say that the above is a very good description of the terms. I believe that I myself fall into different roles depending on what I am looking for at the time.
It's certainly a good place to start with (the definitions).

But the golden rule is that there is no ONE TRUE way. A person may say they are a slave, and interact with their owner in a complete different way than what is defined here or what you would expect.

In the lifestyle people self-identify, and are classified by those observing them. While it isn't a big deal to classify someone else, if you intend on interacting with them in a social or lifestyle venue, its best to be polite and ask what they consider theirself to be. It can save a lot of drama and bruised ego's later!
Ms. Athena's Avatar
I so agree, we all have to choose where we fit and how we fit......no one "role" or "title" will fit us all, and isent that what is soo kool about life...........We have that freedom of choice to choose.............
Sub or Slave or bottom...they all are wonderful to me.