Help me with this

I'm curious what's the allure to the Dom thing.
I was hog tied once and that lasted a couple minutes didn't like the total helpless feeling you get when one loses control. I would try it again but I need to ease into it, any suggestions on what I may do next I'm open to new things.

lol Well first off no need to be tied to take a ride on the Dom/sub road. Most men that see me, are lets say "Doms" in their everyday life. They have to been in control 24/7. So to be able to be sexual Dominated is a huge turn on, to just relax and let someone else control is pure bliss. Having a Mistress take control allows you to relax and push your limits without any guilt,as I commanded you to do these things....lol. Everyone needs a true break at times, and allowing a sexual sensual Mistress to be your guide maybe just the ticket........Enjoy life as it is to short......

You generally need to ease into this kind of play. You can't go from 0 to 10. Most people start light, even cheesy stuff like furry hand cuffs, etc... Part of it is that something light, will let you feel like you could escape if you wanted to, and help built trust with your dom. Don't have someone hog tie you if you've not played much. It's important to build comfort. My civie play partner and I are comfortable together when we play, she's able to give up control because we have trust.

Otherwise if you try to jump right into it, it's like if you had to learn to drive a car for the first time and were given a 600hp sports car and a race track. I saw something like this on a track day once, two asian guys (really young kids, maybe 18-20) were half a lap in and decided to pull off the track. Track officials come see what happened, turns out they were scared and the one guy was apparently crying. Don't go to a race track when you're 18 and aren't confident driving... Same thing here.

My experience the gentlmen who request domination desire the loss of control. Usually I get requests from gentlemen who have the burden of the world on the shoulders and for just one hour they want to forget being responsible.

willdoit- When I meet the gent for the first time I will ask what his limits are and a safe word. A dominant should use the same domination session with everyone because not everyone is the same.

There are quite a few Youtubes online that show encounters between mistress and a submissive. Try to get an idea of what you want so that there are no misunderstandings and no one is disappointed.

You've gotten wise answers, but in a way this is like asking "Why do you like strawberry ice cream so much? Personally, I much prefer chocolate." Some things just turn some of us on. I'm sure that there's an underlying psychology in a lot of cases, but I think it's largely physical in others. BDSM happens to work for me (as do many other forms of play) but foot fetishism for me is about as erotic as pro bowling. But that's just me.

So if Dom/Sub isn't your thing, think no more of it.

Who in the world would hogtie you for your first experience?

I just took a peek at your reviews and you've seen Paulina. Although I do not know her at all, I've read wonderful (wonderful!) things about her. I would think that she might be a good person to share some thoughts with.

I liked the ice cream analogy.

This type of play is also something that you can grow into. My interest started when clients started to ask me things, etc. Plus, although I had read the complete Marquis de Sade by 18, I didn't "get it", either.

Even reading that old literary porn, it was exciting (not Sade. Some of his writings are disgusting and gross), but nothing that I was interesting in doing.

However, as you age, often one wishes to expand his/her horizons. This is where I feel that often people have questions about things that are strange to them. Step lightly and if it isn't your thing, it's just not a big deal.

You might not have found the right person to enjoy alternative time with.

Ever make it do Dallas?

I do a much softer type of rope play than most. I call it "scary / safe". I use very soft cuffs and one of those double-ended, keychain-type clips that are about 4" long. This way my partner can reach around easily and unclip themselves easily. I play a very soft, sensual BDSM game though.

I'm curious what's the allure to the Dom thing.
I was hog tied once and that lasted a couple minutes didn't like the total helpless feeling you get when one loses control. I would try it again but I need to ease into it, any suggestions on what I may do next I'm open to new things. Originally Posted by willdooit@yahoo.com

It's all in how your mind works. If you "helpless" as in cannot free yourself, you will always be able to either demand to be released or invoke whatever emotion in her that results in your freedom. Knowing that in some way you still have a proverbial key to free yourself, means learn to cherish the rarest of rare moments when you truly are subject to the will of a sexy intelligent woman.

Most of the people I've know that like it fantasized about since their childhood or their teens.

I think I was 8 when I first experienced it. My folks use to take me to parties at their friend's place. All the kids were split into two rooms. Boys in one room, girls in the other. I had a crush on one of the girls so I sneaked into the girls room. The one I liked, told all girls to help tie me to a chair. Of course I got busted, which was embarrassing, but I fantasized about it to varying degrees ever since then.

Visit someone who knows what they are doing.
Some women provide only kink...some provide sex and kink.
Communication is KEY here.

ummm

Visit someone who knows what they are doing.
Some women provide only kink...some provide sex and kink.
Communication is KEY here. Originally Posted by *GoddessDallas*

well said!

To the OP, thanks for bringing up this topic. I, too, have been fascinated with being dominated. For me, it is some what intimidating, but that is what makes it attractive. I've only dabbled with it a couple of times (thanks Dallas and London)-- basically blind-folded and lightly restrained. It was very vanilla. I'd really like to experience something more intense. I don't think being hog-tied would be the best adjective for what I'm looking for, but it would be something similar like being restrained and/or sensory deprived with the lady using me for her pleasure. I'm even warming to the idea of allowing her to do strap-on play. One of the intimidating things that is stumbling block for me is the extreme some doms go to. I'm not into the idea of a dom session where sexual contact and release id denied or forbidden. That is the one area I'd rather not go into.

As for the ladies advise. I really like what Ms Athena had to say about giving up control. When I hobby, I like to enjoy a variety of experiences. My last two outings have pretty much been ones where I had to do everything. Don't get me wrong, they were great times, but I'd also like for the lady to take control and be aggressive to the point of me losing control, being dominated, restrained etc. I also like what Ms Athena had to say about pushing limits not because you want to but because you were "commanded" to. That is a huge turn on for me.

I also like what mikkifine had to say about communication before a session begins. That is very important in any hobby related experience, but it is more true in this type of situation where someone is put in a position of vulnerability. The idea of a safe word always is a good thing. I've used them in the past when fantasy playing, but I was the more dominant player. The safe word was for her, not me. Finally, I like the idea of Olivia's "scary/safe". If I ever find myself in Houston, I just may have to find out exactly what that means in person-- LOL.

quote---but I'd also like for the lady to take control and be aggressive to the point of me losing control, being dominated, restrained etc


it shall be done! lol

I do a much softer type of rope play than most. I call it "scary / safe". I use very soft cuffs and one of those double-ended, keychain-type clips that are about 4" long. This way my partner can reach around easily and unclip themselves easily. I play a very soft, sensual BDSM game though.
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olivia@oliviahoward.com



interesting my want explore with you.

I do a much softer type of rope play than most. I call it "scary / safe". I use very soft cuffs and one of those double-ended, keychain-type clips that are about 4" long. This way my partner can reach around easily and unclip themselves easily. I play a very soft, sensual BDSM game though.
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interesting my want explore with you. Originally Posted by willdooit@yahoo.com

It starts in the head and comes out through the fingertips...................