daily joke

One day, a Mechanical Engineer, Electrical Engineer, Chemical Engineer and Computer Engineer were driving down the street in the same car. All of a sudden, the car broke down. The Mechanical Engineer said, "I think a rod broke." The Chemical Engineer said, "The way it sputtered at the end, I don't think it's getting gas." The Electrical Engineer said, "I think there was a spark and something is wrong with the electrical system." All three turned to the computer engineer and said, "What do you think?" The Computer Engineer said, "I think we should all get out and get back in."

A guy is going on a tour of a factory that produces various latex products.At the first stop, he is shown the machine that manufactures baby-bottlenipples. The machine makes a loud "hiss-pop" noise. "The hiss is the rubberbeing injected into the mold," explains the guide. "The popping sound isthe needle poking a hole in the end of the nipple."Later, the tour reaches the part of the factory where condoms aremanufactured. The machine makes a "Hiss. Hiss. Hiss. Hiss-pop" noise. "Waita minute!" says the man taking the tour. "I understand what the 'hiss,hiss,' is, but what's that 'pop' every so often?""Oh, it's just the same as in the baby-bottle nipple machine," says theguide. "It pokes a hole in every fourth condom.""Well, that can't be good for the condoms!""Yeah, but it's great for the baby-bottle nipple business!"

0-200 in 60seconds ...
Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
really pissed.

She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"

The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought
the box back in the house.

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Bob has been missing since Friday.

One day, President Kennedy gets a call from a senior Soviet functionary. He explains that while it is embarrassing to admit, the Soviet Union has a problem with unwanted pregnancy and with venereal disease. He goes on to explain that their source for manufacturing condoms has had problems. In the name of hopeful relations, he asks if the US could make 500 million condoms and send them over. Kennedy, sensing an opportunity to thaw relations says that he will be happy to accommodate them. Then the Russian says “Thank you, but you have to understand something important. The average Russian man is 10 inches long with a girth about the size of the bottom of your American Coke bottle.”

Kennedy assures him that the American factories can adjust the equipment to accommodate. The next morning he calls the CEO of a US based condom manufacturer to place the order, specifying that the condoms should be 10” long and the girth of a coke bottle. The manufacturer is thrilled and assures the President that he can accommodate the size adjustment.

“Good” says Kennedy. “Now one more thing. I want them all printed to say ‘Made in the USA. Size: Medium”