To Pay or Not to Pay

This happened last night..whatever the poll says I will do...A provider who shall be nameless as it does not matter (she is a really great person) came to my house for a 1 hour outcall, was to be at 7:30, she arrived at 9:15, she did text me a few times to let me know what was going on...We have seen each other 3 times before..twice at her place and once at mine, all awesome visits. I offered her a glass of wine or a drink, she wanted a Vodka/Rocks. We started talking, then she wanted to sit outside by the pool, we talked some more, I suggested we go to the bedroom as it was now near 10. By this time she had finished 1-1 1/2 shots. This is not unusual.

We disrobed, we were kissing on the bed, and she almost rolled of the edge. I pulled her onto the bed and could tell something was not right. It became obvious she had to much to drink. I covered her up and let her lay on the bed for a while to rest..After about 20 minutes I suggested she get dressed so I could take her home as sex with her at this point would not make any sense. I got her a bottle of water to drink while she dressed. Against my wishes, she said she was ok to drive home. I told her that was not a good idea but she insisted, she lives about 3 miles from me. As she was backing out of the driveway, she rolled down the window and said, did you pay me? I said no, you were here to provide and did not. The fee was on the counter in plain sight the entire time she was here, right where she picked it up the last time she was here. I will tell you, I do not believe in paying for companionship or time..if I want to talk to a rocket scientist, I will call my neighbor. I do not always understand what he is saying..but you get the point. To me, this is about paying for sex. No sex no money. This gal is a very good person, I like her as a person as well as a provider but I have no illusions, our relationship is sex for money. I have thought about this for a few hours and in some ways feel I should have gave her something to cover the babysitter. However, the full fee, no..no sex--no money. The members can decide if I should pay her the full amount..yes or no?

Hard question to answer because I was not there and have no idea how intoxicated she was. On the one hand if she was so intoxicated that she was falling down drunk or ready to pass out, I'd say you shouldn't have to pay her. On the other hand, if she was just a little tipsy, but ready, willing, and able to play and you sent her on her way regardless, then I'd say you should pay her.

Personally, I'd scrap the idea of doing whatever the vote is. Any result is somewhat biased as you alone are posting the description of what happened. Since you've seen her before and think she's a good person, I'd talk to her about it and explain why you think it is unfair for you to pay the full amount and ask her what she thinks is fair. If she's smart, she'll be willing to reach some sort of compromise rather than risk losing a repeat client.

Maybe this is what the "Disclaimer" is for in many ads "You are paying for my time only"

You pay for time. You got that. The only thing left to discuss is your opinion of the appointment, and that is a matter for the review.

Pay your money, take your chances..

Then review.

~1TGA

I'd talk about a compromise . . . keep communication open . . .

Especially since this was a deviation from your previous experience with her . . .

Maybe she'll agree to a do-over?

It happened to me as well a while back. She passed out and I put her to bed. She could never have driven. She would not take the money the next morning. Sorry for your experience.

You pay for time. You got that. ~1TGA Originally Posted by 1thatgotaway

Yes Sir!

So the hypothetical question is: Are you under any obligation to pay her for her time when her time was spent drunk and unable to interact?

Well, I might get stoned for my answer, but hey, it's my opinion, right? I say no, you are under no obligation. It's one thing if she actually made an effort and just couldn't do/be what you wanted. In that case I would say you do owe her. But if she's falling down drunk, then hell no, I don't think you owe her a thing. You can't show up to a job drunk like that and expect to keep your job, right? Providing shouldn't be any different. Give her some gas money if you want to be nice, since you said you usually enjoy this girl's company, but that's totally up to you and how nice you want to be.

No. Don't pay and find another provider. This one sounds like she has issues. Also, she (and her cohorts) knows where U live which should make U very, very uncomfortable.

Be careful with this one and perhaps reflect on your decisions on who U let into your home. This hobby has its risks. Take this seriously or pay the consequences.

Good luck!

If she fell asleep, then you need to deduct the "incall" cost from her fee.

A 5 star hotel runs at least $100 for the night (plus tax and surcharges). And I hazard most homes are at least 5 star in amenities and cleanliness (ever see those shows where they use black lights on the bed sheets? EEK)

But seriously, as noted, talk to her about her expectations. Ignore the "disclaimer" most post about time only because that is not worth considering.

IF you had asked a working gal to come over and hang out with no expectation of BCD. then it would be her call about what rate, if any, to charge. Some girls just enjoy hanging out with a fav client or two.

Ask her.

What Shackleton said plus you apparently gave her the additional liquor if I'm reading things right. They've held bars, restaurants, bartenders and even private party hosts liable for providing too much liquor to people who then have accidents. Be glad your decision to let her drive home didn't result in something worse.

If the business and personal relationship is not too damaged I'd suggest having her determine what is fair - make your case, of course, but then abide by what she thinks would be fair.

Then make your decision as to whether you want to continue to see her knowing that drinking at your place needs to be heavily curtailed or monitored and most probably, stopped altogether.

Any other solution is not worth one person feeling like a victim or like he or she "lost".

Just my opinion.

Hope you work things out.

This is a tough one. None of us in the hobby like to come across as haggling or negotiating the fee and session parameters, but sometimes it is unavoidable.

Often we get caught up in myopic view and focus on the immediate small fee or inconvenience, but forget about the long term ramifications of making a rash decision.

It sounds like this is a regular provider and that you do enjoy the arrangement you have with her. If you value keeping this provider, then you will probably need to keep the communication going and be open to some type of compromise even though it might be painful or awkward. As others mentioned, it is difficult to weigh in with a standard opinion having only one side of the event presented to us.

Now if she were to read what you posted and agree that you described everything accurately (perspective is a pesky thing) it sounds like you might simply need to reschedule the session, and maybe tip her a little bit if all goes well to show her that you do value you her as a provider and appreciate that she agreed that the best scenario was to wipe the slate clean and start over.

If she is reluctant to do this and suggests that you contributed to the failure of the session etc. then you may need to make a difficult decision. Is paying her for the previous failed session a worthwhile investment if you want to see her again and prevent ill will on her part claiming you swindled her--justified or not, be aware that these things can go pear-shaped fast if you are not careful.

By the way the same is true for her if she is reading this. Does she want to risk alienating you over this and lose all of your repeat business?

This can be a hard pill for some providers to swallow, but any person doing any business successfully understands that sometimes you are not doing yourself a favor when you fight to save a few dollars up front only to lose thousands over the long haul because you just killed a long-term business arrangement.

You might want to rethink the poll idea. The providers can weigh on this, but I could see her logging in and seeing this and getting pretty upset that you are making your decision based on a poll. She might be cool with this post. . .she might get pissed.

I would tread lightly.

I'm a sucker, I'd given her 20 bux for showing up, if she wanted to make good maybe she would deduct that from a future session but in all honesty she should have canceled and tried to reschedule. She made an effort to be there which some how is worth something for her time, but it was really bad judgment on her part. It doesn't sound like she was in any shape to negotiate or be rational at the time.

sux for you man

I agree with Traci 100%.

I think this girl owes you a make up session, thats what I would offer anyway?

No.

A provider showing up in an unacceptable condition is not entitled to have her time compensated.

A customer showing up in an unacceptable condition is not entitled to have his fantasy consummated.