Reference checks

Okay, so I am going to go on a mini tirade for a very brief moment. As most of the providers and gentleman that know me, or know of me, know that I am 100% reference friendly. I do NOT post my number for a reason. Once a gentleman has been screened or a lady and myself have become acquainted, then and ONLY then will my number be provided. I just received a phone call from a number that I did not know, so I chose not to answer it. I then started receiving texts. A one time "client" had given my number to another lady and she was calling and texting to check a reference. He didn't even give her my name. Are you freaking kidding me? It is not this young ladies fault that he has no regard for anyone else's discretion/privacy. I do not send texts to ladies that I do not know asking for a reference check. How can she or I verify that we are who we say? Ladies, it is best to use Eccie pm's or contact another lady from P411. That way we know everything is on the up and up, so to speak. I have been contacted by an SO or two because a number or email was not deleted. That is not a fun conversation to get sideswiped by. Gentleman, if a lady does not have her number posted, DO NOT give it out. If you want to use us a references, please do and be respectful when doing it. I could go on, but I am tired and I think she actually just pm'ed me and I need to respond.
Hobby safely,
Kendall Kain

Interesting topic. Clearly, I'm really new here. An old fart but new to hobbying. Can someone hip me to the proper reference "etiquette"? I'm eager to learn all the proper things to do while minimally stepping on my anatomy.

Kendall- I understand your frustration. He could've asked if it was ok to share your phone # and everything would've been fine.

Burrows.Aaron- I always look for a lady's ad/profile when someone tells me they're going to use her as a reference. It's safer than to take a number a gent used which could be a fake $20 track phone. Most of us wouldn't just call that number blindly. I always at least google it to see if it takes me back to a lady's website or ad.
So in short-- linking to a girls website/showcase is easiest. That way we can figure out how she prefers to be contacted.

Interesting topic. Clearly, I'm really new here. An old fart but new to hobbying. Can someone hip me to the proper reference "etiquette"? I'm eager to learn all the proper things to do while minimally stepping on my anatomy. Originally Posted by burrows.aaron

Kendall- I understand your frustration. He could've asked if it was ok to share your phone # and everything would've been fine.

Burrows.Aaron- I always look for a lady's ad/profile when someone tells me they're going to use her as a reference. It's safer than to take a number a gent used which could be a fake $20 track phone. Most of us wouldn't just call that number blindly. I always at least google it to see if it takes me back to a lady's website or ad.
So in short-- linking to a girls website/showcase is easiest. That way we can figure out how she prefers to be contacted. Originally Posted by CompanionSofia

+1 Sofia. I always have gents contact me first, before using me as a reference so I have a heads up, other than that, I will not reference you if you cannot follow that suit. I dislike unwarranted calls/texts/e-mails from a "provider" out of the blue. This practice is not just for my contact info discretion, but more the gentleman's total discretion. I don't want to share information with someone claiming to be a provider about you.

Websites are best, P411 and other verification sites. Once I know in advance which provider you are about to have me as a reference for, I can then do my own screening on her, then follow up with a more accurate account of our time, and you to make for an excellent reference.

Now we have to write a check for references, too? Damn this is getting to be a good way to go broke...

I say, please don't give a number even if it is posted..... I too am extremely reference friendly. I do not want a text or phone call from a lady asking my about a gent. This is not the ONLY thing I do in my life. I prefer to receive a PM or an email.

When a gent gives me a number, I still look up the lady to make sure she is a legit provider and then I PM her or send her an email out of respect for her time.

Just my 2cents

I never give out a lady's number...except when I write it on the bathroom wall...at Walmart.
Haahahaaaa...but really I'm not.

Great reminder Kendall! Guys sometimes forget that discretion and privacy are the top priority - yes even when it comes to providers. When I get a text from a provider who I know does not have my number I tell her DON'T TEXT for references! Dont Text some number a guy gave you and told you it was me. I could be anyone. Hell for all you know I could be officer jane down at the squadron waiting to "verify" my partner. I tell them to ALWAYS PM for references. You never know who is on the other line.

And if you had to be screened to get a lady's number it doesn't mean it is just yours to give out as you see fit. It means anyone who gets that number has to be screened first. No exceptions.

People just aren't careful sometimes and its the ones who aren't that fcuk it up for everyone else.

Okay good to hear! I thought I was the only old school lady who doesn't accept text for references. I tried not to fight it so I would check the number for ads then respond. I didn't know if since it's a new era it's the new way of referencing. Pm with showcase links is the best! Thank you to all the great organized hobbyists who email with organized references!

Pm with showcase links is the best! Thank you to all the great organized hobbyists who email with organized references! Originally Posted by Lolabrea01

Amen! Links to profiles!!

So many more members, the more idiots we have. Discretion has been largely lost now.


Unless you have her express permission, you do not give out any information to a buddy to call or another provider for a reference that she does not post publicly.

I think I need to start a hobby school.
An eight week provider boot camp.
and a hobbyist Associates degree program 2 semesters long. Additional classes for a bachelors, masters, and a PhD[ track.

Then and only then would someone be allowed full access to all of Eccie's forums.


Of course, some of these guys won't even shell out for a membership here or P411 and complain when it poses a problem or an incident. This used to be a gentleman's game. The streetwalkers were for the cheap johns. Now "Escort" boards have turned into cyber Walmarts of sex. smh

Amen everybody!

Guys please don't forget to let providers know you plan to use them as references
so we can make it easy to remember you without keeping record of your personal information. I usually give guys a code word to give providers so verification is quick and accurate. Thanks!!

I sent a P411 screening request and got confirmation from the provider through a private message that I had passed. We scheduled, but while driving to the appointment she had the audacity to send a text asking for names and phone numbers of 3 providers as references. I pulled over to the side of the road and texted her that no way was I going to give her 3 numbers of my favorite providers without notifying them first.

There was not enough time to do this. I asked her if the appointment was still on because I wasn't driving 45 minutes unless she confirmed. She didn't respond after 15 minutes, so I started driving back home. Fifteen minutes later she texts asking me to come anyway. I damn sure didn't. Turns out she never even accessed my P411 profile.

So many more members, the more idiots we have. Discretion has been largely lost now.


Unless you have her express permission, you do not give out any information to a buddy to call or another provider for a reference that she does not post publicly.

I think I need to start a hobby school.
An eight week provider boot camp.
and a hobbyist Associates degree program 2 semesters long. Additional classes for a bachelors, masters, and a PhD[ track.

Then and only then would someone be allowed full access to all of Eccie's forums.


Of course, some of these guys won't even shell out for a membership here or P411 and complain when it poses a problem or an incident. This used to be a gentleman's game. The streetwalkers were for the cheap johns. Now "Escort" boards have turned into cyber Walmarts of sex. smh Originally Posted by Glenn Quagmire

This guy who I didn't know from Adam sent me a private message complimenting one of my reviews and saying he wanted to see the provider BCD. But then the idiot had the lack of discretion to ask me for my phone number so that he could use me as a reference. For all I know he could have been another Jack the Ripper. Of course, I didn't give it to him, but I did text the provider and tell her to watch out if this nutcase tried to use me as a reference because I didn't know who in the hell he was.

I sent a P411 screening request and got confirmation from the provider through a private message that I had passed. We scheduled, but while driving to the appointment she had the audacity to send a text asking for names and phone numbers of 3 providers as references. I pulled over to the side of the road and texted her that no way was I going to give her 3 numbers of my favorite providers without notifying them first.

There was not enough time to do this. I asked her if the appointment was still on because I wasn't driving 45 minutes unless she confirmed. She didn't respond after 15 minutes, so I started driving back home. Fifteen minutes later she texts asking me to come anyway. I damn sure didn't. Turns out she never even accessed my P411 profile. Originally Posted by MobyDick100

This is one thing you guys should ALWAYS check for. Make sure the lady has at least taken a peek at your profile. The system tells you if she did. Idealistically, she should have read it thoroughly and if you fully filled it out, she'll have an idea of your likes and dislikes... but we all know this isn't a perfect world. But at the very least, she should have at least checked your OK's.