Emotional repercussions?

thp_919's Avatar
So I'm a noob, obviously. Please bear with me.
I'm trapped in a loveless marriage and I've been toying with the idea of seeing a provider now for quite some time. I've never actually done it though...

Maybe this is a dumb question. But has anyone ever experienced any kind of sadness or loneliness after seeing their first provider?
It seems like it could be a very emotionally vulnerable situation.

Don't get me wrong. I want to get my rocks off just as much as the next guy - that's what's driving me toward the provider option.
But I'm not an experienced guy - only 2 women in 33 years. And I'm kind of an emotional person (I'm a hopeless romantic, snuggler, etc). So I'm just a little afraid that maybe I'll feel even lonelier once the party is over and she's gone.
Why oh why so many people stay trapped in loveless marriages I'll never know...

Anyways, the loneliness shouldn't be a problem for you if you can figure out a way to not get emotionally attached from sex, (easy for me to say because I have no problem separating the two), but you'll need to figure out a way to separate the two for yourself,( perhaps keep the session strictly to fucking, no kisses/cuddles, no lying around chatting about pointless crap, no intimacy, just fucking.) ..... Don't walk into the situation with any type of romantic approach, you're not going to ravish your sweet lover with kisses and make passionate love to her, instead think more along the lines of you're going to shove your cock into every hole that filthy slut has,(This should help take any romance out of the equation )

Once you are able to control your emotions a bit better, then you should be fine love..
LexusLover's Avatar
So I'm just a little afraid that maybe I'll feel even lonelier once the party is over and she's gone. Originally Posted by thp_919
#1: Find a good therapist/counselor .. and I don't mean a prescription machine.
#2: She's not "gone," she is "waiting" for you to come back for seconds...thirds.. etc.
thp_919's Avatar
...you're not going to ravish your sweet lover with kisses and make passionate love to her... Originally Posted by Valerie
That's the problem. I think my desire for intimacy is just as strong as the strictly physical desire. And I already know on some level that I can't find that in the provider community. But sometimes I feel like emulation is as close as I'm gonna get, ya know?

The problem is I don't want to be left emptier than I already am. And/or become the world's most pathetic lapdog. I guess I was hoping some other hobbyists might have faced this issue (if they care to admit it anyway) and might have some advice for my situation.

I actually did counseling for several months, Lexus. In a strange twist of fate my therapist came on to me. It seemed like a golden opportunity at the time, and we arranged for an encounter. But before it came to fruition, logic prevailed and she had second thoughts. Afterwards I felt really awkward and I didn't feel like I could confide in her anymore. I haven't really wanted to start over with a new therapist.
tbone77494's Avatar
Dudes should only see males therapists. Try an AMP. They have a very mechanical routine that is not at all conducive to romance.
pyramider's Avatar
The hobby does not seem to be the place for you at this point in your life. You need to find another therapist/counselor and work through a lot of issues then consider the hobby.
Wakeup's Avatar
Get a divorce and move on with your life...trapped...pfft...
gearslut's Avatar
It's a very emotional situation.........Sometimes I miss my money like crazy...
THP_919 ... A provider is going to smell your "neediness" a mile away, so be careful, you'll end up spending a lot of money and emotionally distraught.

My advice would be for you to go see a provider with one caveat ... Pick someone who is visually hot, you're fantasy fuck, so to speak. But, only see her one time.

If that goes well, then pick a second provider, same thing.

That will help you view these encounters as purely for sexual pleasure as you do not become attached to any one provider ... a gift to yourself. You're a human being, so let go and enjoy it. Oftentimes, these encounters will rekindle your feelings for your SO.

Bro, get out there, bust a nut and enjoy yourself.
thp_919's Avatar
Thanks, Stinky. Out of money and emotionally distraught is where I could easily see myself heading and it's not where I want to go. I'm not sure I'd have the willpower to stick to a single session, so I think I may try my best to avoid the hobby altogether. Thanks all for the advice.
Thanks, Stinky. Out of money and emotionally distraught is where I could easily see myself heading and it's not where I want to go. I'm not sure I'd have the willpower to stick to a single session, so I think I may try my best to avoid the hobby altogether. Thanks all for the advice. Originally Posted by thp_919
Good luck. Hope you find some way to avoid trapping yourself in your own misery. You, and only you, can make the necessary changes in your life to be happier.
dearhunter's Avatar
If you want hugs and kisses, get a puppy......ijs
Dorian Gray's Avatar
So I'm a noob, obviously. Please bear with me.
I'm trapped in a loveless marriage (Get a divorce.) and I've been toying with the idea of seeing a provider now for quite some time. I've never actually done it though...

Maybe this is a dumb question. But has anyone ever experienced any kind of sadness or loneliness after seeing their first provider? (It's called buyers remorse, duh.)
It seems like it could be a very emotionally vulnerable situation. (DIck in pussy. Dick in mouth. Bust in pussy or mouth. What's so emotional about it?)

Don't get me wrong. I want to get my rocks off just as much as the next guy - that's what's driving me toward the provider option. (You can jack off too ya know.)
But I'm not an experienced guy - only 2 women in 33 years. (Kill yourself now. It's over.)And I'm kind of an emotional person (I'm a hopeless romantic, snuggler, etc). So I'm just a little afraid that maybe I'll feel even lonelier once the party is over and she's gone. (You pay them to leave. Everyone knows this.) Originally Posted by thp_919
This isn't Dr. Phil
Come out of the closet...
hornfreak's Avatar
Just go the ship channel bridge.... and jump off it or get divorced. Either way I think you're fucked. Seriously...this may not be for you. Find some other shit to keep you occupied. I guess that's why I'm still single.