Weird Sex Laws in the U.S.A.

Over on io9, we posted a map of all the weirdest sex laws in the U.S.A. We didn't have room for every weird sex law we found, and some of them we had to shorten a bit to make them fit. So here's the complete, unedited list of sex laws!

Who really came up with this stuff?! Very interesting read

Alabama

Incestuous marriages are legal.

Alaska

Moose are banned from having sex on city streets (in Fairbanks).

Arizona

You may not have more than two dildos in the same house.

Arkansas

Flirtation and "lascivious banter" between men and women on the streets may result in a 30-day jailterm. (in Little Rock.)

California

It's illegal to sell stuffed items resembling breasts ("boobie pillows") within 1000 feet of a highway.

No man shall dress as a woman without the written permission of the sheriff. (In Walnut, CA)

Colorado

Male massage parlor workers must wear all white clothing. (In Adams County).

Keeping a house where unmarried persons are allowed to have sex is prohibited.

Florida

Married couples (as well as singles) cannot engage in open "lewdness or lascivious behavior"

Georgia

The term "sadomasochistic abuse" is defined so broadly, that it could possibly be applied to a person handcuffing another in a clown suit.

All sex toys are banned.

Illinois

If you sell a reptile, you must give a written warning not to "nuzzle or kiss" them.

It's prohibited by law to "suffer any bitch or slut" (referring to dogs) (in Minooka.)

Indiana

It is illegal for a man to be sexually aroused in public.

Iowa

Kisses may last for no more than five minutes.

Kansas

Illegal "sodomy" includes oral sex, but anal penetration with a finger is allowed under specified circumstances.

Kentucky

Dogs must not molest property or people.

Until 1975, people wearing bathing suits on any city street were required have a police escort.

Louisiana

Necrophilia is legal.

It's illegal to use fortune-telling, astrology or palmistry to "settle lovers quarrels." (In New Orleans.)

Massachusetts

Making noise in a public library is a crime against "chastity, morality, decency and good order."

Michigan

A man who seduces or corrupts an unmarried woman faces five years in prison.

Low-riding pants that expose underwear are a Class B offense. But if they expose butt cleavage, they're a Class A offense. (In Flint.)

Mississippi

It's illegal to teach others what polygamy is.

Adultery or premarital sex results in a fine of $500 or 6 months in prison.

Montana

Prostitution is a "crime against the family."

Nebraska

You can't get married if you have gonorrhea

Nevada

Sale of sex toys is illegal.

New Hampshire

Lingerie must not be hung on a clothesline at the airport, unless there's a screen concealing it. (In Kidderville.)

New Jersey

Flirting is illegal. (In Haddon Township, NJ)

New Mexico

Nudity is allowed as long as genitals and female nipples are covered.

New York

Adultery is illegal.

North Carolina

Adultery is illegal. And so is pretending to be married in order to share a hotel room.

North Dakota

It was illegal to swim naked in the Red River between 8 AM and 8 PM. (In Fargo.)

It's against the law to fail to confine a dog or cat in heat. (In Grand Forks.)

Ohio

No person shall solicit sex from another of the same gender if it offends the second person.

Oklahoma

It is illegal for the owner of a bar to allow anyone inside to engage in "acts, or simulated acts, of sexual intercourse, masturbation, sodomy, bestiality, oral copulation, flagellation, or any sexual acts which are otherwise prohibited by law." So, no simulated intercourse or animal sex.

Oregon

It's illegal to lie down in a public restroom, or for two people to share a stall meant for one.

Pennsylvania

Oral and anal sex are illegal. You cannot cohabit with an "ancestor or descendant."

South Carolina

If a man promises to marry a woman and she sleeps with him, the marriage must take place.

South Dakota

Public erections are illegal.

Tennessee

Students may not hold hands in school.

Texas

It's illegal to own more than six dildos.

Utah

It's illegal to marry your first cousin before the age of 65 — or 55 if you can prove both parties are infertile.

An adult cannot show sex paraphernalia to a minor, unless they're your own child. (In Salt Lake City.)

Virginia

Adultery is a misdemeanor.

Obscenity is a bigger crime if you use a computer.

Washington

If you give a sex worker a ride to work, your car can be confiscated.

West Virginia

An unmarried couple who lived together and "lewdly associated" could face up to a year in jail. (Recently repealed.)

OMG! Every provider I know in Texas has waaaay more than 6!

I`m glad I don`t live in Texas, Im safe here...I love my lelo, it runs on a charge and no batteries...Every girls dream

The law in Texas on dildos has been changed awhile back.

That list is completely bizarre and amusing. Thx BD!

I thought it was nuts but funny, if you google it tons of other supposed to be laws are on there as well.

Some Arkansas laws are unenforceable and redundant. One of them states that the Arkansas River can rise no higher than the Main Street bridge in Little Rock. I guess we're supposed to arrest the river for disobeying? How does a river pay a fine? It's illegal to kill any "living creature" in Fayetteville. However killing inanimate objects is perfectly okay. So go out there and kill yourself a mailbox!

Women are also a popular subject for laws. Some old Arkansas laws are archaic. There is a law that states female teachers who bob their hair cannot be given a raise. Even more degrading is an old law that states a man can beat his wife in Little Rock provided he does it with a stick no bigger than 3 inches across and not more than once a month.

My favorite law is one designed to get Northerners into trouble. That's right folks, if you mispronounce Arkansas (Ar-kan-saw) you're in for a fine or jail time. Just be sure not to flirt with those Northerners as you tell them they are breaking the law. In Little Rock, flirtation between men and women on the streets may result in a 30-day jail term. You might get to share a cozy cell together. Be careful. Don't get extremely cozy in that cell. Oral sex is considered sodomy in Arkansas and is punishable.