NCNS vs Cancellation

nevercanhavetoomuch's Avatar
This past weekend I posted here because the lady I was planning to see cancelled because she was sick.. I only posted because I was in the mood to play and had the time to play. I intentionally didn't name her because I believed her. Since then I've had some folks contact wanting to know who she was. The implication being that they didn't want to try to see her because she cancelled.

I believe there is a big difference between a NCNS and a cancellation. As somebody pointed out sometimes real life gets in the way of this fantasy world of hours. I believe that any provider worth her salt will get in touch and let you know what happened. Sometimes they will not be able to explain until after the fact but they will explain. We guys need to give them the benefit of the doubt until proven other wise.

On the other hand somebody with a history of NCNS or using the same excuse over and over probably needs to be called out.

And guys.. some of us are guilty of this also. (I can hear the ladies saying "Damned right") We schedule and then don't show up and don't call. It's not fair to the ladies.

I will call out NCNS's but am not going to talk badly about somebody who had to cancel for a legitimate reason.. Just my opinion
You seem like a true gentleman, NCHTM.

I'm sure your lady friend appreciates your understanding and patience.
Hatty242's Avatar
I have to agree on that one. A cancellation with two hours notice is a nice thing to do and things do come up. It's just life. I suspect that some providers don't advise of a cancellation because they don't want the drama. I don't know that, but I just suspect that many guys, when advised of a cancellation, get overly dramatic. I also agree you shouldn't give out her name, because it does sound like they don't want to see her. Personally if I knew someone was professional enough to advise of a cancellation I'd have a higher opinion of her, not a lower one.
Ok I have had a situation with a guy that kind of falls into this category. I have seen him 4 times. He has my phone number he texted me and we talked. He would tell me he wanted to see me and I would tell him Iwould come see him or meet him half way. Then I wouldn't here from him and then see a post requesting to see a provider that same morning we were supposed to meet. We never had anything concrete but he gave all impression that he wanted to see me. I chalked up the first time to him just wanting something new no biggie. But .......... He Pm me after we had just talked on the phone, asking if I was busy the next morning. At the same time I got a pm wanting a reference on him for the next morning. I was confused. Let that go....... It happened 2 more times. Then we stopped talking after he wanted to see me "unprofessionally"> Started texting chatting and he made the comment that it had been too long and he wanted to see me that week. I texted him telling him I would be in Little Rock and he said he had to see if he had to work. He texted me he had to work then 15 mins later posted on short notice for an apt right on top of my ad. Fuckin mind games.
I know guys want different that is why we are all here. But playing with my time is no joke. This is 2 kids in colleges tuition, dance lessons, cheerleading, etc.........

I have only had 1 ncns. I was in a wreck my hobby phone was smashed in 100 pieces in my wrecked car somewhere and I was in er and I still found a way to contact my missed appt.
Ok Im done lol
Moto1971's Avatar
I would much rather have a provider call and cancel, it is the polite thing to do and no mater how bad I want to hobby real life takes a priority. To tell you the truth I don't care what the reason is if they cancel they cancel, does the reason really matter?

A NCNS on the other hand leaves someone holding the bag, and leaves things in the air, this is a bad thing for either side.
to cancel saves you lots of problems verses ncns
Life happens for all of us. NCNS drives me crazy
B.Wayne's Avatar
I don't blame you. ive had to cancel because of a head cold and sore throat. no way am I going to give someone germs. even if its suggested that we not kiss. No way I don't want to miss out on kissing.. I want to kiss so id rather just wait until I know im 100% germ free. so there is nothing wrong with that. i do give plenty of notice though. but i agree if there is a pattern it should be mentioned. At the very least to make a judgment call, a ncns is just a bad deal. it takes a few seconds to text/call someone and let them know you cant make it. with as much notice as possible, when possible.
LOVE your post, Casey! Feel better now? After hearing the background story, it was most definitely a well-deserved rant. You go, girl! Should've added that one to Trinity's "Fuck You, You're Fired!" thread! LOL!

A last-minute cancellation is sometimes unavoidable, but a no-call no-show is rarely excusable. Unless you have been in a tragic situation, such as a car wreck or something else that renders you physically incapable of sending a simple 2-second text, there is no reason for it – it's just total lack of respect across the board.

Just a thought – wouldn't it be cool if all the NCNS guys and girls would just schedule with each other, stand each other up, and never know the difference?
nevercanhavetoomuch's Avatar
LOL.. Sounds like a plan Ginger.
LOVE your post, Casey! Feel better now? After hearing the background story, it was most definitely a well-deserved rant. You go, girl! Should've added that one to Trinity's "Fuck You, You're Fired!" thread! LOL!

A last-minute cancellation is sometimes unavoidable, but a no-call no-show is rarely excusable. Unless you have been in a tragic situation, such as a car wreck or something else that renders you physically incapable of sending a simple 2-second text, there is no reason for it – it's just total lack of respect across the board.

Just a thought – wouldn't it be cool if all the NCNS guys and girls would just schedule with each other, stand each other up, and never know the difference? Originally Posted by Ginger Doll
Love love love it !!!
twobullhunglow's Avatar
It would be nice to have some sort of prior notice that the arrangement fell through. NC/NS just leaves one of the parties dangling with no path of recourse until it is too late to do anything else.

My second NC/NS texted me around 30 - 45 minutes later explaining what had happened and it was completely understandable. When playtime comes around again, we will see if our stars align.

Life happens and I think everyone here knows that and should expect it from time to time.
Hatty242's Avatar
Casey I loved that story even though it was horrible! What a total jerk. That reminded me, though, of a discussion that I had with a friend in the hobby and she said that it was stunningly common for guys not to show up, especially if booked through BP. My point is that I suspect that the problem is more of the guys than the gals. Sucks when it happens though.
arkansas_hobbyist's Avatar
It definately works both ways.. A provider who I am friends with said it was terrible in Dec. A few called to cancel but most just dropped off the radar. I think the guys are more vocal when a provider NCNSs. I do think that before you call somebody out here on-line we need to be sure that we are on firm ground.
A cancellation with two hours notice is a nice thing to do and things do come up on both sides of the phone.