A Provider Rant – Did This Hobbyist Step Over The Line

Fellow Hobbyists and Providers,

Something rather unusual happened between me and a provider and I am looking for some advice. I am going to call her “Provider Lady” to protect her identity.

I was off yesterday and had set up lunch and then an afternoon session with my ATF. Unfortunately life happens and she had to cancel. So I reached out to another provider that I have been chatting with via PM for a few weeks to see if she would be interested in the same. Here is our exchange…

#9 - No form of private communications between members are to be posted in our forums. This includes the contents of emails, PMs, IMs, private chat logs, privately shared images, etc. This is an invasion of another's privacy and will not be allowed. DED

There was approximately an hour between PM1 and PM2 and an hour and a half between PM2 and PM3. I have not heard back from her, so I assume she blocked me.

My thought is she misunderstood my first PM, or my intent in my first PM, and went on a rant, but I am also wondering if I did something out of line. I really was just looking for a nice lunch and then a session, but would have settled for a comeback like “Gotta pass on lunch today honey, but I can entertain you at 2:00.”

As far as haggling is concerned, I have never asked a lady to lower her rate for me. Providers are in this business for a reason … to make money … the same reason any other business person is in their chosen business. They set what they think is a fair price. I either agree and pay to play, or I disagree and stay away.

So, what are your thoughts about this situation? What should I have done differently?

BDD

1 provider down 2,798,567 to go. Fuck it.

The only advice I'd give is for YOU to block her now and under no circumstances have anything to do with her again. A simple "no" to the lunch offer would have been sufficient. She's obviously a whack job.


PS: Do not get roped into saying who this provider is, you'll get in trouble now that you posted PMs if you do.

If she's the guys ATF its a bit harder to just drop, you miss that good pussy. I've taken some chicks out to eat but I'm not paying for the time they eat. I will pay for food and drive all that good stuff but I'm not paying you to eat it too.

If you want to ask her to eat lunch just say something like "hey babe I want a session with you today. Just our normal meet my place for the hour. I have extra time today if you want to go out and eat my treat you pick the place.". Then wait to see what she says. If she wants to she will go with no charge, or if she sees a chance to get some cash she will let you know that too. It's not a bad thing if they want cash to eat with you, it her right. Just don't come right out at a hooker and make em think you want something free, just won't work.

Not to mention some of these chicks don't want to be seen out with an old dude. I've taken girls my own age out but never a girl like 20. I love fucking my 20 year old but our conversation don't go far. I'm not there for conversation, and I could see things going south as topics like "2chains" "Justin bieber" and "housewives of ...." lead the talking points at lunch.

Agree- you did nothing wrong. Easy cum easy go.

Her reply was over the top and not necessary. She could have declined more tactfully, perhaps. You did make it sound like you wanted free time and assumed she was okay with it. Some providers expect that all of the time that they spend with you is compensated for. That includes lunch/dinner/private time/etc.

Your title is ass backwards too. YOU are the hobbyist, SHE is the provider.

...The only advice I'd give is for YOU to block her now and under no circumstances have anything to do with her again. A simple "no" to the lunch offer would have been sufficient. She's obviously a whack job. Originally Posted by BBWrider

PS: Do not get roped into saying who this provider is, you'll get in trouble now that you posted PMs if you do. Originally Posted by BBWrider

If she's the guys ATF its a bit harder to just drop.... Originally Posted by trey

Thanks for the words of wisdom in your replies. The Provider Lady is not my ATF. My ATF and I had plans, but they changed when she had something come up yesterday morning.

Trey, like your approach. I probably should have called and discussed this over the phone instead of sending the offer to her via PM. Note to self...do that next time.

The age thing between Provider Lady and me would not have been an issue.

Your title is ass backwards too. YOU are the hobbyist, SHE is the provider. Originally Posted by BBWrider

I was cally it a "Provider Rant", given her PM, and asking if I stepped over the line.

A better title would have been..."WTF Provider Lady???"

She was over the top in her response to you, but most providers are not going to want to have an off the clock lunch with you before she has even had one appointment with you. That is something an ATF might do, but rarely something a provider you have never seen will do.

If I were you I would not have asked for an off the clock lunch in this situation, and if I were her I would have just turned down the lunch and focused on whether I was available to do the appointment.

I wouldn't pay a lady to eat food or sleep, but many guys do, which is why many ladies have discounted multi-hour rates. It is for the guys who like to take them to lunch and dinner. Many providers want some compensation for that time.

She's being incredibly rude. I certainly wouldn't want to spend time with a provider who responds to an offer to take her to lunch in such an offensive manner.

I think this worked out to your advantage. Better to find out now that she's a bitch than to be BCD and learn about her bad attitude.

If she's the guys ATF its a bit harder to just drop, you miss that good pussy. I've taken some chicks out to eat but I'm not paying for the time they eat. I will pay for food and drive all that good stuff but I'm not paying you to eat it too. Originally Posted by trey

His ATF had to cancel.

No, BDD, I don't think you did anything wrong. I go to lunch or a drink with clients sometimes. If there is a chemestry, we're having fun and I have the time, why not? This world is much more fun if you're playing with friends.

I do have dinner or Off the Clock (Where there is no hard and fast time limit.) dates, in fact it is my primary appointment type, and yes the entire time is compensated. But what youn asked for is much different than a lunch or a glass of wine at the Tasting Room. A dinner date is multiple hours and different in general, but you asked for was completly different. It was an appointment in the middle of the day and everybody's got to eat . You were a complete gentleman and you got cyber slaped for no reason.

She was over the top in her response to you, but most providers are not going to want to have an off the clock lunch with you before she has even had one appointment with you. That is something an ATF might do, but rarely something a provider you have never seen will do.

If I were you I would not have asked for an off the clock lunch in this situation, and if I were her I would have just turned down the lunch and focused on whether I was available to do the appointment.

I wouldn't pay a lady to eat food or sleep, but many guys do, which is why many ladies have discounted multi-hour rates. It is for the guys who like to take them to lunch and dinner. Many providers want some compensation for that time. Originally Posted by BFCjosh

+1
She could have had any number of things going on in her life to cause her to react in such a manner... Hormones, failed calculus, death in the family, overfull schedule, under full schedule, needs an extra hundred to cut the lights back on - could be anything. She could have been more diplomatic, but certain situations will cause anyone to throw diplomacy out the window. I'm sorry you were the recipient. I'd focus lunch donation on your ATF from here on out.

She could have had any number of things going on in her life to cause her to react in such a manner... Hormones, failed calculus, death in the family, overfull schedule, under full schedule, needs an extra hundred to cut the lights back on - could be anything. She could have been more diplomatic, but certain situations will cause anyone to throw diplomacy out the window. I'm sorry you were the recipient. I'd focus lunch donation on your ATF from here on out. Originally Posted by theCFE

You're right, of course. If it is some sort of horrible life event, perhaps she'll apologize for her rude response when her life gets back to normal.

Awww sorry that happened to you .... You seem like a sweet guy .... Im usually available for lunch and play ... If you ever need another provider in the future ...

awwww papi I am so sorry to hear that happened to you.

I don't know what advice to give about how you could have handled things better. You tried and she said no. She could have been nicer.( ) But all providers do things differently. I think you should stick with your ATF from now on......