Thoughts about us on D&T

Sorry for the delay on this. Funny how life changes your game plans.

The following is all in my opinion so it doesn’t reflect the views of eccie, the NFL or any major TV network. J

Over the past half year the tenor of D&T has gotten a bit more harsh as far as interaction between the denizens here. There have been some nice people who used to post and no longer post and in fact barely lurk because of that harshness.

Of course a thick skin is a good thing on any internet board. But the venom that some have used at least in public is disappointing. In the days of HDH, everyone was for the most part cordial. There are some who have to push to get the last post in mind set. A few recent threads have just a few people have make their point and they continue to beat the snot out of a now very dead horse.

The folks who have reduced their interaction are both male and female. As I noted life does change how one spends their time in a pastime or participating in eccie.

When I offered to mod it was to just help out on eccie. I didn’t have an agenda. It was as altruistic as that. I was flirting with the ladies here before mod-ship and I suspect I will continue to flirt (what can I say, I’m a floozy). I have a good time here. But the yammering and harshness wears thin. I mean folks, we are here to talk about men and women playing together BCD, In Front of Closed Doors (IFCD?) , and anything else. We can talk politics, entertainment, sports (how ‘bout them Braves, Ans?), and anything else, but gee, let’s not act like politicians and hurl mud back and forth to prove who is “more righter.”

I want to entice the folks who left D&T to see that we can be mature adults (ok I know there are some that will never change, but I would love for them to turn it down a notch {gee where have I seen that before?}). My lovely Becky does not post as much as she used to. I know Edward asks her why she isn’t chatting to her friend SR Only and Ansley’s squirrel, and reading PJ’s humor (I mean I think PJ has been posting less). It’s going to require all of us to be conscious of what we post. Instead of the rapid fire click, give it a second, re-read it, maybe edit a little, and then send it. You might even decide you won’t send it. There’s an old adage, which is: think as if your mother was reading it (ok that’s if mom is a provider J ), and go from there.

I know a few will think I am being "nanny like" and I might be guilty of that. But I want us to start being “adults” to one another. But I liked the old HDH and the start of D&T. I know we can get back there.

SRO

Over the past half year the tenor of D&T has gotten a bit more harsh as far as interaction between the denizens here. There have been some nice people who used to post and no longer post and in fact barely lurk because of that harshness.

Of course a thick skin is a good thing on any internet board. But the venom that some have used at least in public is disappointing. In the days of HDH, everyone was for the most part cordial. Originally Posted by SR Only

First of all I want to thank you and Marcus for your service...all jokes aside...moderating an internet message board is like coaching a little league team....you have to put up with a bunch of complaining and bullshit...no one is ever satisfied....and the pay sucks!

I wanted to comment on your observation that this place is getting less civil and is less civil than HDH (on ASPD). (Civil being my word, trying to paraphrase).

I really haven't seen it (although this place has had its moments). We have had attrition but I think that is normal. New people have replaced them.

As for the comparison to HDH, I find this place much more welcoming and comfortable. I'll leave names out, but if you didn't get along with or have the same worldview as certain individuals you were constantly walking on egg shells.

I'm blaming it all on charlestudor2005

Well said and thanks for what you do. As a relative newbie, some of the threads go to extremes as far as the tone people take and not being considerate to others. It is understandable why many will not post or leave the site because I have seen some pretty heavy things on the board. If I have a problem with someone or something they are doing , I prefer face to face and man to man or man to lady and would prefer to go the PM route and not all the trashing that occasionally takes place openly here.

I get enough bitching and gripping at home and come to the board for some stimulating conversation and occasionally a little discourse on particular subjects. Many people take some comments out of context, but i guess the entire country is moving in that direction. I am thick skinned enough to take what anyone wants to throw my direction and will not back down, but prefer calmer and more casual comments.

TOp

@atl & SR

Since I didn't do any posting in HDH (although I was a member at ASPD), I don't know what it was like.

Having said that, I think you are both right to a certain extent.

SR, I think I have a fairly thick skin, but a couple of days ago, I was ready to close my account. (**Deafening roar from PJ's clapping** J). But, I guess I'm an addict (see the thread) b/c I couldn't bring myself to do it. And I am aware of some who have left, or at least, gone silent. I really can't tell if they're lurking.

atl, I agree with you there is a place here for politically oriented discussions. I really DO tend to enjoy those as much or more than the BCD things. But I also think SR is right: they've started to become a "take no prisoners" kind of discussion. We should recognize by now that we are not going to change each others' minds. We should state our position and let it go at that. Politely (OK, OK, there are a lot of us given to biting sarcasm, but we could bring it down some).

For what it's worth, that's my .02.

First of all I want to thank you and Marcus for your service...all jokes aside...moderating an internet message board is like coaching a little league team....you have to put up with a bunch of complaining and bullshit...no one is ever satisfied....and the pay sucks! Originally Posted by atlcomedy

One plus here is that you are less likely to sit down in someone's melted ice cream bar.

(**Deafening roar from PJ's clapping** J) Originally Posted by charlestudor2005

Let me state for the record that I don't want Chuckie to stop posting.

My god man! What would I do for sport?

I'm blaming it all on charlestudor2005 Originally Posted by atlcomedy

Poor Charlie!


Good post SR!

moderating an internet message board is like coaching a little league team Originally Posted by atlcomedy

Herding cats, it's all the same.

and the pay sucks! Originally Posted by atlcomedy

Pay?! What pay? We get paid? What sort of deal did I get? hey admin, we gotta talk.

SR, a couple of days ago, I was ready to close my account. Originally Posted by charlestudor2005

Could you just get rid of that frigging avatar? [said the mod with the mod hat on.]

Good post SR! Originally Posted by Valerie

Anything to make a lady happy! {just ask PJ}

As for the comparison to HDH, I find this place much more welcoming and comfortable. I'll leave names out, but if you didn't get along with or have the same worldview as certain individuals you were constantly walking on egg shells. Originally Posted by atlcomedy

I never experienced that in the last days of HDH. But obviously there were dynamics at work there that I was not aware of. But on the surface it was fun and I really liked the topics and people who posted there.

Another denizen of D&T has also noted that aspd/HDH was a somewhat hostile environment. I came on aspd in the fall of 2009. I missed the "fun" of aspd before I arrived there. The fall of aspd and the rising pheonix of D&T meld in as one to me. I did want to express the thoughts of "play nice" boys and girls.

. Instead of the rapid fire click, give it a second, re-read it, maybe edit a little, and then send it. You might even decide you won’t send it. Originally Posted by SR Only

I thought about it and decided to send you a pm.
I will say that I do miss Becky but how can I miss other posters that call other posters murders or anti-Semitic. Moderation should have a certain sense of fairness to it. When those terms are tossed about it does ratchet up the tone but why not address the name callers instead of the folks who make fun of the name callers?

I agree with atl, I do not pine for the days when we had heavy handed moderation.

I don't know, I think DT actually seems calmer nowadays. Almost boring. Just my .02. I do agree with SR, the politics gets a little too heavy.

For you Charles

Sh!t I should ban you and give you points for that pic. My eyes are hurting again. Where are the pencils I can jab in them?

Even though I sometimes participate (guilty as charged), I do think it's a shame that politics dominates D&T. More hobby related and aethetically pleasing threads (ie partially clothed or unclothed (Women SA Artman!)) would be a welcomed evolutionary change.

In that vain (and since I just downloaded them to post elsewhere), more photos my friend and muse Lindsey was kind enough to let me take.

SR, let me know if this helps those hurting eyes!

Now, go forth and sin some more!