"I Know Her REAL Name..."

“I Know Her REAL Name…” If I had a penny for every time I heard this statement. It’s usually followed either by silence to get a reaction... (wait for it...wait for it) OR by personal information about the provider. Sometimes a story or two are shared to “PROVE” that he really does know her real name. Example: “We took our kids to the park. Can you believe that?
My question has nothing to do with whether a provider chooses to step outside of the boundaries or not. Listen, I get it. Sometimes there is natural chemistry with some individuals regardless of how they met. At the same time, I do not appreciate a hobbyist disclosing a provider’s personal life to me. That’s when I say…”I do not want to know. It’s none of my business.”

So…please help me to understand…what exactly is the message that a hobbyist is trying to convey when he makes such a statement? I'd like to hear from provider's and gents.
My first reaction is one of apprehension…”Oh no, this guy is on a mission to obtain my info as well.” After all, why do I need to know that he knows her name?

What is the psychology behind knowing her real name?
1. Yes! I get to be her friend on facebook!
2. Yes! I am now her “advisor” and will protect her.
3. Yes! She loves me but won't admit it.

4. Yes! Free sex! Free extended visits.

5. Yes! Now I REALLY know her. I’m sure her family/friends know her real name and yet may not even know about her profession.



Until then.......

I'm curious about this as well. I would not appreciate my info being talked about to another provider.Even if I am telling a hobby story there are no names in it.

If I wanted people to know my real name then why screw around with a stage name.

Look at it this way, the guy is doing you a favor telling you that. It's fair warning to you to watch what you say around him. A guy bragging about knowing someone else's personal information likely has issues.

That's a ploy by him to get you to trust him, to show you that he is a regular caring guy and that other ladies trust him.
Or else it's an egotistical move to show you how much of an "insider" he is or can be.
Like TinMan said, he has issues....guys that offer up that kind of information, especially if it is unsolicited, are "players" in their own mind.
What makes him dangerous is that he has a distorted sense of reality.

Look at it this way, the guy is doing you a favor telling you that. It's fair warning to you to watch what you say around him. A guy bragging about knowing someone else's personal information likely has issues. Originally Posted by TinMan

Tinman is full of wisdom and has a wonderful perspective on the hobby. The needed re-quoting.

I used to wonder why some people lurked and were not social. They were smarter than I was.

Yes, it a type of bragging like JGW said, but it's simpler than that. He's saying because she trusts me so you should too.

Unfortunately too many fail to see the contradiction in his statement.

I hate it more than anything ,when I hear that a gentleman has been talking to other gentlemen or ladies about my personal info that is by the way, usually not true. Rumors get started that way and really do no one any good.

Reviews? Cool, that is the purpose of them, but to let other guys know exactly when you are scheduled to see a provider and the details of where you are going ETC. prior to review is very rude. I do not want my business, personal or otherwise disclosed to other people. Especially, people that I have never come in contact with.

Ladies, just because you hear or think something about another lady, doesn't make it fact and to talk to your client about another providers personal business whether true or not, lacks class and discretion.

I have shared my name with VERY few trusted clients. I trust them to keep that info to themselves. I do not understand the purpose of telling anyone else that info, unless you think it makes you look cool or you have ulterior motives.

Bottom line is...it's not cool. When I screen, I obtain a gentleman's personal info. I don't tell anyone else that info....so ladies and gentleman, please return the favor.

If a guy's bringing up the topic of someone else's real world info, it's generally a bad sign; the more specific, the worse the intent probably is. Even if he's not being malicious, he's being careless or naive, each of which carry their own risks. If he's actually sharing that private information or seeking yours, run.

Accidentally finding out a real name or other sensitive info can and does happen - happened to me twice in my time hobbying (sloppy email setup and an answered "day job" call) - but it shouldn't go much (if any) further than that. Maybe a tactful reminder to that lady to be careful what she lets slip, and then not brought up or delved into again. Actively digging for meaningful real world information is, if not dangerous, at least creepy. Discretion is a cornerstone of our little world, and it definitely works both ways.

The only problem is knowing which name to scream out while busting a nut. That's why all their 'real' names are Babe.

Seriously in today's information age if someone REALLY wanted to know someone's identity it would not be difficult to obtain. The question is who would think it necessary to do that and for what reason?

I hate it more than anything ,when I hear that a gentleman has been talking to other gentlemen or ladies about my personal info that is by the way, usually not true. Rumors get started that way and really do no one any good.

Reviews? Cool, that is the purpose of them, but to let other guys know exactly when you are scheduled to see a provider and the details of where you are going ETC. prior to review is very rude. I do not want my business, personal or otherwise disclosed to other people. Especially, people that I have never come in contact with.

Ladies, just because you hear or think something about another lady, doesn't make it fact and to talk to your client about another providers personal business whether true or not, lacks class and discretion.

I have shared my name with VERY few trusted clients. I trust them to keep that info to themselves. I do not understand the purpose of telling anyone else that info, unless you think it makes you look cool or you have ulterior motives.

Bottom line is...it's not cool. When I screen, I obtain a gentleman's personal info. I don't tell anyone else that info....so ladies and gentleman, please return the favor. Originally Posted by Reese Foster

Cool post, Starina! Actually, there's something about the "stage" name that seems more real to me than the Provider's real name...unless it's something weird like "ProlongMe".

Sometimes it just happens or has to - for example buying airline tickets.... Which I did - fast forward five years (4 after last contact with my "good friend / provider") and she decides to call my house and chat with my wife....thank god I outed myself a couple of years back - so lesson to all - be careful with personal information.

That's why all their 'real' names are Babe.
Originally Posted by Hercules

Or "Honey".

I guess I am still new and naive, but I must say that I am very disappointed that this topic even has to be raised. I am having a great time playing in this fantasy world where it seems possible for almost any desire to come true. What I don't understand is why anyone would want to draw reality into play.

I'm here because my reality is far from perfect. So here is this fabulous playground that exists to fulfill otherwise unobtainable dreams. It has very few rules except for basic respect and courtesy. Act like ladies and gentlemen, and anything can happen, anything can come true, at least for a few hours at a time.

I don't want the real world anywhere near this most excellent escape. Why ruin a great thing?

I guess this must be a case of I don't know what I don't know, but it strikes me as disappointing that members of our community have such little regard for the safety and well being of others.

Good post...I've often thought what was up with that too.

Look at it this way, the guy is doing you a favor telling you that. It's fair warning to you to watch what you say around him. A guy bragging about knowing someone else's personal information likely has issues. Originally Posted by TinMan

TM's observation is accurate. Unfortunately, you also have people that see possession of such information as a toehold (power) over the Provider.