When did we throw DISCRETION out the window?!?!?

Ok, now I know that I don't start alot of threads but do read almost daily what I can on the boards. Now I have been around for a while now, and I have ALWAYS claimed that DISCRETION is something that I always practice. I mean not just for me but for those HOBBYIST that are either married or in a relationship of some sort.

I thought that this was the MAIN goal in the hobby world when I started many moons ago. What I don't understand is the number of hobbyist and providers, as well, who are continuously getting outed by either a provider or hobbyist. When did this become part of our practice as a hobbyist, or providers, especially?

I honestly feel that from a provider standpoint, outing a hobbyist because you are jealous (or just a plain F**KING vindictive bitch) because he is seeing other providers while still seeing you, or as a hobbyist, you are upset because your ATF isn't there just for you or isn't holding up her end of a bargain. I mean there really is NO need for jealousy and vindictiveness in this hobby because there are plenty of fish on both sides of the pond for every one to get along.

I am just saddened by the lack of adultness and maturity that we (hobbyist and providers) showcase in this industry. I am still in the biz, is my biz lacking from time to time, yes, as sure as many have those down days. I just feel that we all should act like adults, (which I know is hard for some) and just because some one pisses you off or fails to hold up their end of a deal doesn't give anyone, (provider or hobbyist) , the right to out anyone to their spouses, girlfriend/boyfriend, and/or family. This is just F**KING ridiculous and OMG dare i say CHILDISH. Just wish some of us would act our ages and not our shoe sizes. Maybe then, possibly, the hobby world will be a better one.

JUST MY .02.

Smooches

Here, here! AMEN! Preach on sista!

I have been bitching about this for the last couple of years. Just becasue you know something about someone does not mean you have to post it or gossip about it.


DISCRETION IS THE CORNERSTONE OF THIS HOBBY.

OUTING SOMEONE IN THE HOBBY IS THE CARDINAL SIN.

If you are new in the last couple of years and you want respect, you better learn these two things.


I guarantee some karma is going to be dished out for those who keep forgetting this. It is just the way the hobby works.

When matters involve money and sex, peoples' reasoning falters. It's always going to be that way. You just have to be very paranoid about covering your tracks so your actions don't lead back to your real life. Keep it to a very pleasant cordial visit and leave emotions out of it all.

thanks for saying what i was just thinking, couldn't have said it better myself

There are some providers who are 18 or 19 yr old, so they might not be very adult-like. But then, age is just a number. On the other hand, some guys, even in their 30s, may not be very mature either. Some take the provider-client relationship too seriously.

Anastasia,

Your stock just doubled in my book! I agree that there is some very childish behavior going on and I will not be a part of it. I have been keeping a very low profile lately due to.....well lets just say drama. Anyhow its nice to know there are other adults still around.

Yaddayadda

Ok, now I know that I don't start alot of threads but do read almost daily what I can on the boards. Now I have been around for a while now, and I have ALWAYS claimed that DISCRETION is something that I always practice. I mean not just for me but for those HOBBYIST that are either married or in a relationship of some sort.

I thought that this was the MAIN goal in the hobby world when I started many moons ago. What I don't understand is the number of hobbyist and providers, as well, who are continuously getting outed by either a provider or hobbyist. When did this become part of our practice as a hobbyist, or providers, especially?

I honestly feel that from a provider standpoint, outing a hobbyist because you are jealous (or just a plain F**KING vindictive bitch) because he is seeing other providers while still seeing you, or as a hobbyist, you are upset because your ATF isn't there just for you or isn't holding up her end of a bargain. I mean there really is NO need for jealousy and vindictiveness in this hobby because there are plenty of fish on both sides of the pond for every one to get along.

I am just saddened by the lack of adultness and maturity that we (hobbyist and providers) showcase in this industry. I am still in the biz, is my biz lacking from time to time, yes, as sure as many have those down days. I just feel that we all should act like adults, (which I know is hard for some) and just because some one pisses you off or fails to hold up their end of a deal doesn't give anyone, (provider or hobbyist) , the right to out anyone to their spouses, girlfriend/boyfriend, and/or family. This is just F**KING ridiculous and OMG dare i say CHILDISH. Just wish some of us would act our ages and not our shoe sizes. Maybe then, possibly, the hobby world will be a better one.

JUST MY .02.

Smooches Originally Posted by SexyAnastasia

Unfortunately, there are many immature and insecure individuals in every walk of life. Jealousy is a sign of insecurity and while I believe it's ok/healthy/normal to experience a little from time to time with someone you love, it's definitely not ok to behave this was in the hobby. If ya can't keep things in perspective in the hobby, you don't have any business being here. That goes for the ladies and the gents.

@ yaddayadda.... Was beginning to think we'd need to send out a search party to look for you! xoxo

I thank all of you for the support of this thread.

Space - you are so right on your outlook. My dad always told me men really never grow up and there are some mature 18,19,20 etc. yr olds out there. I was one of them when i first started. Its just sad to see that there are people out there that don't realize how much they hurt themselves when they out some one. I guess some of us just to take our hobbying serious.

Thanks for the support!!!

SMOOCHES

Ok, now I know that I don't start alot of threads but do read almost daily what I can on the boards. Now I have been around for a while now, and I have ALWAYS claimed that DISCRETION is something that I always practice. I mean not just for me but for those HOBBYIST that are either married or in a relationship of some sort.

I thought that this was the MAIN goal in the hobby world when I started many moons ago. What I don't understand is the number of hobbyist and providers, as well, who are continuously getting outed by either a provider or hobbyist. When did this become part of our practice as a hobbyist, or providers, especially?

I honestly feel that from a provider standpoint, outing a hobbyist because you are jealous (or just a plain F**KING vindictive bitch) because he is seeing other providers while still seeing you, or as a hobbyist, you are upset because your ATF isn't there just for you or isn't holding up her end of a bargain. I mean there really is NO need for jealousy and vindictiveness in this hobby because there are plenty of fish on both sides of the pond for every one to get along.

I am just saddened by the lack of adultness and maturity that we (hobbyist and providers) showcase in this industry. I am still in the biz, is my biz lacking from time to time, yes, as sure as many have those down days. I just feel that we all should act like adults, (which I know is hard for some) and just because some one pisses you off or fails to hold up their end of a deal doesn't give anyone, (provider or hobbyist) , the right to out anyone to their spouses, girlfriend/boyfriend, and/or family. This is just F**KING ridiculous and OMG dare i say CHILDISH. Just wish some of us would act our ages and not our shoe sizes. Maybe then, possibly, the hobby world will be a better one.

JUST MY .02.

Smooches Originally Posted by SexyAnastasia

And they are not just the young ones. Age has nothing to do with it.

I agree with the sentiment, but what happened?

Sorry, I keep to my few safe corners of the board and am not up to date, apparently, with all the goings on. Will somebody please enlighten me?

DISCRETION IS THE CORNERSTONE OF THIS HOBBY.

OUTING SOMEONE IN THE HOBBY IS THE CARDINAL SIN.

If you are new in the last couple of years and you want respect, you better learn these two things. Originally Posted by cpi3000

I agree with Anastasia and CPI. But, the primary lesson I draw from this is not so much to try to convince the people who are indiscreet to become more discreet. That's definitely a good thing, but somewhat limited in effectiveness.

The lesson I draw and that I think every newbie should take to heart is to protect yourself because you cannot rely on anyone else to do it for you. Separate hobby phone, hobby email, and hobby name. Don't reveal your real name or any other info that could be used to identify you. Guard your license plate info.

You never know for sure who's going to gossip, have someone hack into their computer, try to blackmail you for sex or money, or just go psycho. Be discreet with your own info and who you give it to. With the internet, a little know how, and some effort, a single piece of identifying info can reveal more info about you than you could imagine. Guard your anonymity and you won't have to worry about someone else being indiscreet. This goes for hobbyists and providers equally.

I thank all of you for the support of this thread.

Space - you are so right on your outlook. My dad always told me men really never grow up and there are some mature 18,19,20 etc. yr olds out there. I was one of them when i first started. Its just sad to see that there are people out there that don't realize how much they hurt themselves when they out some one. I guess some of us just to take our hobbying serious.

Thanks for the support!!!

SMOOCHES Originally Posted by SexyAnastasia

Wow, you started out as a mature 18,19,20 year old man? I would never have believed it!

I know, I know, I need to grow up.

you are so silly Iaintliein. I do have to saw I am much prettier after the sex change!!! LOL.

It is my understanding that a provider became jealous and wrote a letter to this gentleman's wife outing in detail all his "activites" in the hobby. This is completely uncalled for and wrong in this business.
There is an unwritten rule of behavior, If you OUT anyone you are immediately OUTED yourself, you can't be trusted. Zero tolerance with this. We all know what we are into and doing here. But this kind of behavior is too dangerous. It is very damaging and has life altering consequences. I don't care what your problems are, how old you are, how long you have been in the business 1 day or 20 years, any pro or hobbyist that is so immature or vindictive, or plain crazy to deliberately out another has absolutely no place in the hobby, should be considered dangerous and outed and removed. Other pros and hobbyist should put peer pressure on these people until they are run out of the business. There is no room for peoples lives being destroyed and ruined. And quite frankly the thought of psycho, fatal attraction, histrionic personality that would do such a thing should scare the hell out of every pro and hobbyist. This is pure sick and distrubed. It is passive aggressive behavior at its best. Here is a gal with deep deep anger issues and she did not deal with him one on one and handle the situation. She attempted to destroy his life, by going to his wife. I don't care how old, who she is or whatever her problems are. This is pure wrong.
Where is the Eccie board in this? If a hobbyist can show proof that the outing happened, then the outer should be permanently outed and removed from the board. People, this is our life line here. Ignoring this behavior or thinking "it won't happen to me" is naive at best. The only way to prevent this is to deal with it swiftly and remove people that believe they can pull this kind of damaging behavior from our ranks.
The boards and other pros and hobbyist should rally behind the person outed. This provider should not have another "date", period. The big O should be branded on her forehead. Danger Danger Danger signs up! That is what this is all about and for, is it not? I say keep it sane and safe, cull the rest. This is pure bullshit! My opinion only and yours may vary!

Victoria Westin

It is my understanding that a provider became jealous and wrote a letter to this gentleman's wife outing in detail all his "activites" in the hobby. This is completely uncalled for and wrong in this business.
There is an unwritten rule of behavior, If you OUT anyone you are immediately OUTED yourself, you can't be trusted. Zero tolerance with this. We all know what we are into and doing here. But this kind of behavior is too dangerous. It is very damaging and has life altering consequences. I don't care what your problems are, how old you are, how long you have been in the business 1 day or 20 years, any pro or hobbyist that is so immature or vindictive, or plain crazy to deliberately out another has absolutely no place in the hobby, should be considered dangerous and outed and removed. Other pros and hobbyist should put peer pressure on these people until they are run out of the business. There is no room for peoples lives being destroyed and ruined. And quite frankly the thought of psycho, fatal attraction, histrionic personality that would do such a thing should scare the hell out of every pro and hobbyist. This is pure sick and distrubed. It is passive aggressive behavior at its best. Here is a gal with deep deep anger issues and she did not deal with him one on one and handle the situation. She attempted to destroy his life, by going to his wife. I don't care how old, who she is or whatever her problems are. This is pure wrong.
Where is the Eccie board in this? If a hobbyist can show proof that the outing happened, then the outer should be permanently outed and removed from the board. People, this is our life line here. Ignoring this behavior or thinking "it won't happen to me" is naive at best. The only way to prevent this is to deal with it swiftly and remove people that believe they can pull this kind of damaging behavior from our ranks.
The boards and other pros and hobbyist should rally behind the person outed. This provider should not have another "date", period. The big O should be branded on her forehead. Danger Danger Danger signs up! That is what this is all about and for, is it not? I say keep it sane and safe, cull the rest. This is pure bullshit! My opinion only and yours may vary!

Victoria Westin Originally Posted by VictoriaWestin

Victoria,

I agree with everything you said except one thing. I don't believe in outing anyone for ANY reason. Even if they outed another person. My thoughts have always been, if a provider will out one hobbyist, she will out another. The same is true for a hobbyist that outs a provider. Neither can be trusted.

There are a couple of well reviewed and well loved providers from other boards that outed a client because of jealousy. Even though both are reviewed as wonderful ladies to see behind closed doors, they are both on my 'No way in Hell will I see them' list.

If more hobbyists took a stand and let the rest of us know who outed them, then we would know who NOT to see. The ladies have private boards like dangerzone411 and providerbuzz, hmmm, maybe I should think
about a similar site for hobbyists where we can post in a more private and secure setting.

Basically what I'm saying is "Outing someone is just wrong" and has no place in the hobby. If someone outs another, steer clear of them and maybe they'll go away, or at least go somewhere that won't affect the serious hobby people here.

Just my .02

Coven