The difference between being objective and being an asshole

addict's Avatar
I'll try and keep this short and sweet. I may not succeed.

From a hobbyist perspective, there are few things more valuable here than honest, objective information. Whether it's describing the physical characteristics of a woman, her performance, or issues that came about when trying to see her, the more accurate and objective information a guy can gather about a girl, the easier his decision becomes, and the better chance of him having a pleasant, incident free encounter.

This is in contrast to 90% of what you read in reviews. The chest thumping, she-came-12-times-and-I-fucked-her-7 times-in-30-minutes, describing a 250 pound woman as "thick but not fat", listing a 50 year old as 23, etc., doesn't help anybody. That's not to say we are aren't all guilty of it to differing degrees, but to those reading it, it adds zero value. It's all strictly self serving.

Which is why the few guys who are objective, and unafraid to disclose the details you can't find in pictures or showcases, are so valuable. Not to limit it to these two, but Tinman and Yourself both come to mind. When I read their reviews or posts, I don't feel I have to cross reference them with 30 other reports just to verify the veracity of their claims. It's rare, it's refreshing, and it's extremely valuable when trying to research someone to see.

That said, I'd like to point out the difference between being OBJECTIVE and being an ASSHOLE. Being objective means stating facts, as you see them, and then leaving other people to form their own opinions about them. Being an asshole is a guy that, rather than just stating facts, skews them or paints a context around them in an effort to convince others of his opinions. Here's an example.

______________________________ _______________________

OBJECTIVE:
NC/NS by Trixie
I had an appointment yesterday with Trixie. I called an hour before to confirm and she didn't answer. I had already taken the time off, so I drove out to her area, and still never heard from her. After several calls and texts, I gave up. She texted me last night and apologized, saying something about losing her phone and rescheduling. I'm not interested, not after that.

ASSHOLE:
Trixie THE NC/NS'er DOESN'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT OUR TIME!!!
Trixie fucking wasted my time, and totally did it on purpose. She told me to call and confirm, which I did, and then when I got to her place she refused to pick up the phone. I work 27 hours a day, blah blah blah, and my time is super valuable. Woman that think they can do this have no respect for us and shouldn't be in this business!!! So I texted her and told her I wasn't pleased and she better have a good excuse. Later that night she texted me with some bullshit story about losing her phone. Yeah, right. If she's really sorry, she'll make it up to me, but I'll be damned if I'm heading out there again for full price. If she does I'll let you guys know, otherwise I suggest you avoid this disrespectful, inconsiderate provider like the plague.

______________________________ ______________________________ __

What's sad is I didn't even have to exaggerate the asshole. I see posts like that all the time. Basically, if you are posting objectively, you are giving factual information to allow guys to make their own, informed decision. What opinion they actually form should be none of your concern.

The second you post with an agenda of either forcing a girl to do something, or simply out of vindictiveness, you are a fucking asshole. If you've ever thought (and acted upon), "I'm going to ruin this bitch's business", you are a fucking asshole. If you've ever thought, "this bitch better give me a free session or else", you are a fucking asshole. If you've ever posted about a girl who is overweight by calling her "fucking orca fat", rather than kindly stating that she is overweight and doesn't look like her stats or pictures, you are a fucking asshole.

Basically, with the possible exception of legitimate alerts in which you've been purposely ripped off or your safety has been threatened, objective posts should be made not to ever intentionally harm a girl's reputation, though that may be an unavoidable consequence. The intent should be simply to inform.

That is all. So much for keeping it short and sweet
Get a hobby. A real hobby.
addict's Avatar
Get a hobby. A real hobby. Originally Posted by steviewinwood
Oh, Stevie. My apologies if that hit too close to home.
You sound tormented. Don't take things so seriously.
Bonferroni's Avatar
Hi Addict,

Definitely see your point, but it might be a daunting task to reset this behavior. In forums such as this, there will always be a few chuckleheads. I view that as noise and filter accordingly. If a chucklehead gets a bit too obnoxious, the real knights (as opposed to white knights) have a tendency to chime in.

Just my opinion...

Bon4
jfred's Avatar
  • jfred
  • 06-12-2013, 11:46 AM
You sound tormented. Don't take things so seriously. Originally Posted by steviewinwood
You go out of your way to torment those you think are tormented, steven?

I'm with Addict with this all the way.

Does anyone remember when "she sucked my big cock balls deep bareback and I shot a huge load past her tonsils" was rendered "she spoke wonderful French, required no translator and had the perfect accent as the conversation concluded"?

And oh my god...the absolutely unsexy filth in some on the ladies' ads....

Has anyone been to chat lately? There used to be folks in there with a lot of personality and conversations that were intellectually lively as well as sexually stimulating. I mean no offense to anyone but the folks there these days seem brain dead and engage in nothing but very unappealing pseudosexual babble, and constant solicitation by ladies with atrocious grammar.

Whatever happened to the sexual power of subtlety?

P.S. Bon4 just read your note. Resetting the behavior in a place like this probably is impossible. And I think most of the guys who prefer different just do what you do, filter and ignore.

But since I'm speaking for the way things used to be -- there were always people who behaved poorly, male and female. But I respectfully take issue on the matter of the good guys muting the bad. There used to be a small cadre, no morals but classy who would have hooted women off the board who advertised as many do now, and called bullshit on guys who went too far to toot their own horn or pursue a vendetta.
addict's Avatar
You sound tormented. Don't take things so seriously. Originally Posted by steviewinwood
Though I have my moments, usually I don't. The thing is, you and I could talk shit at each other all day long, and it wouldn't bother either one of us (we'd probably both enjoy it). I'd be the first to point and laugh at all the "well mannered gents" that would get ruffled and preach civility and decorum on an anonymous whore board. I'm with you there.

My point in this thread is that the stakes change when it's between an anonymous monger and some woman trying to make ends meet who has her face, twat, and a log of everything she's done with both plastered on the site. They have all kinds of things to lose, so when a guy puts his ego ahead of that, it bugs me. When a guy takes advantage or bullies a woman trying to make a living by selling herself, I think it's a low fucking way to act. For the record, I feel similarly about all anonymous online reviews, such as restaurants and the like. Yelpers can suck a dick


Hi Addict,

Definitely see your point, but it might be a daunting task to reset this behavior. In forums such as this, there will always be a few chuckleheads. I view that as noise and filter accordingly. If a chucklehead gets a bit too obnoxious, the real knights (as opposed to white knights) have a tendency to chime in.

Just my opinion...

Bon4 Originally Posted by Bonferroni
I get you. Not saying that my one post will win hearts and minds, but maybe, perhaps, it'll make a few guys swept up in the locker room bullshit boys club think before they attack some down on her luck 20 year old next time. Or not, but it felt good to write anyways.

p.s. Jfred, my quip about "well mannered gents" was not at all meant to be pointed at you. You're a well mannered gent, which is vastly different than a "well mannered gent".
Glad it felt good for you .. now go get laid and quit writing stupid shit! LOL
jfred's Avatar
  • jfred
  • 06-12-2013, 12:00 PM
...all the "well mannered gents" that would get ruffled and preach civility and decorum on a fucking anonymous whore board. I'm with you there.

...When a guy takes advantage, or bully's, a woman trying to make a living by selling herself, I think it's a low fucking way to act.

...Or not, but it felt good to write anyways. Originally Posted by addict
Dude, it sounds like you're advocating civility and compassion which in my book makes you a very well mannered gent. Damn near a pussy!

And I too am a believer in posting for cathartic purposes.

P.S. Mooneyflyer, you need to post at least one review. Makes sure, like mine, it's one you can be proud of.
I take the reviews at about 50% validity/accuracy. I agree about the chest thumping tint to so many of them claiming incredible conquests and performances that boggle the mind (you did all those things in 30 minutes or 6 orgasms in one hour? wow! simply amazing!!). I think those reviews (skewed like that) are mostly due to insecurity tainted by the hobbyist with a widely overblown opinion of themselves as a sexual commando (from a bad porn film). I can only imagine the providers giggling at the BS posted by some of those three minute men.

As to me, I don't do reviews (just don't/won't). Not doing them hinders meeting a new provider sometimes as the verification process takes a little bit longer but I'm a tad more patient and deliberate in my selection of providers than it appears most of the 3 inch wonders hovering around here are.

Like you, I appreciate simple, clear and straightforward reviews (good or bad). Sadly, those are rare and generally lost behind the load of cheesy titled reviews that usually are more about the hobbyist and a little blah blah about the providers ass, boobs or french poodle.

My own mini-rant over. Have a nice day!
SD2011, I would respect your opinion on reviews if you wrote them. Never heard of a guy being turned down by a Provider because he didn't write reviews. Not saying it doesn't happen; just never heard of it. You seem to have a decent command of the English language. Think of writing reviews as "giving back" info that was given to you. I remember guys in the past bitchin' about those who don't review as takers instead of contributing.

No matter how much B.S. there is in reviews, there is always something there for me to accept even if I think the other 80% is a Hemmingway wanna-be novella.

When I see a review posted of a girl I haven't heard of, I'll click on her Showcase to see if I like what I see. If I don't, I move on; won't read it. Then I'll check out the activity list. If I like that, I'll read the ROS.

BS, honest, exaggered, biased, info-laden...all kinds of reviews here.
We have to have SOMETHING to help us decide.
SD2011, I would respect your opinion on reviews if you wrote them. Never heard of a guy being turned down by a Provider because he didn't write reviews. Not saying it doesn't happen; just never heard of it. You seem to have a decent command of the English language. Think of writing reviews as "giving back" info that was given to you. I remember guys in the past bitchin' about those who don't review as takers instead of contributing.

No matter how much B.S. there is in reviews, there is always something there for me to accept even if I think the other 80% is a Hemmingway wanna-be novella.

When I see a review posted of a girl I haven't heard of, I'll click on her Showcase to see if I like what I see. If I don't, I move on; won't read it. Then I'll check out the activity list. If I like that, I'll read the ROS.

BS, honest, exaggered, biased, info-laden...all kinds of reviews here.
We have to have SOMETHING to help us decide. Originally Posted by Prolongus
No, I haven't been turned down for not writing a review. However, a few of the providers have noticed I haven't written reviews and made mention of it during the screening process which I suspect causes it to take a little longer and a couple of them vanished during the screening process (maybe alien abductions?).

I do agree with what you wrote and while it would be a benefit to give back (reviews) when I joined back in 2011 I made a rational decision not to do it for a variety of reasons. Some of the current reviews are entertaining as are many nice works of fiction or big fish tales so I do give them )the authors) that credit.

ECCIE itself is quite entertaining enough as it is.

Have fun!
I'll try and keep this short and sweet. I may not succeed.

From a hobbyist perspective, there are few things more valuable here than honest, objective information. Whether it's describing the physical characteristics of a woman, her performance, or issues that came about when trying to see her, the more accurate and objective information a guy can gather about a girl, the easier his decision becomes, and the better chance of him having a pleasant, incident free encounter.

This is in contrast to 90% of what you read in reviews. The chest thumping, she-came-12-times-and-I-fucked-her-7 times-in-30-minutes, describing a 250 pound woman as "thick but not fat", listing a 50 year old as 23, etc., doesn't help anybody. That's not to say we are aren't all guilty of it to differing degrees, but to those reading it, it adds zero value. It's all strictly self serving.

Which is why the few guys who are objective, and unafraid to disclose the details you can't find in pictures or showcases, are so valuable. Not to limit it to these two, but Tinman and Yourself both come to mind. When I read their reviews or posts, I don't feel I have to cross reference them with 30 other reports just to verify the veracity of their claims. It's rare, it's refreshing, and it's extremely valuable when trying to research someone to see.

That said, I'd like to point out the difference between being OBJECTIVE and being an ASSHOLE. Being objective means stating facts, as you see them, and then leaving other people to form their own opinions about them. Being an asshole is a guy that, rather than just stating facts, skews them or paints a context around them in an effort to convince others of his opinions. Here's an example.

______________________________ _______________________

OBJECTIVE:
NC/NS by Trixie
I had an appointment yesterday with Trixie. I called an hour before to confirm and she didn't answer. I had already taken the time off, so I drove out to her area, and still never heard from her. After several calls and texts, I gave up. She texted me last night and apologized, saying something about losing her phone and rescheduling. I'm not interested, not after that.

ASSHOLE:
Trixie THE NC/NS'er DOESN'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT OUR TIME!!!
Trixie fucking wasted my time, and totally did it on purpose. She told me to call and confirm, which I did, and then when I got to her place she refused to pick up the phone. I work 27 hours a day, blah blah blah, and my time is super valuable. Woman that think they can do this have no respect for us and shouldn't be in this business!!! So I texted her and told her I wasn't pleased and she better have a good excuse. Later that night she texted me with some bullshit story about losing her phone. Yeah, right. If she's really sorry, she'll make it up to me, but I'll be damned if I'm heading out there again for full price. If she does I'll let you guys know, otherwise I suggest you avoid this disrespectful, inconsiderate provider like the plague.

______________________________ ______________________________ __

What's sad is I didn't even have to exaggerate the asshole. I see posts like that all the time. Basically, if you are posting objectively, you are giving factual information to allow guys to make their own, informed decision. What opinion they actually form should be none of your concern.

The second you post with an agenda of either forcing a girl to do something, or simply out of vindictiveness, you are a fucking asshole. If you've ever thought (and acted upon), "I'm going to ruin this bitch's business", you are a fucking asshole. If you've ever thought, "this bitch better give me a free session or else", you are a fucking asshole. If you've ever posted about a girl who is overweight by calling her "fucking orca fat", rather than kindly stating that she is overweight and doesn't look like her stats or pictures, you are a fucking asshole.

Basically, with the possible exception of legitimate alerts in which you've been purposely ripped off or your safety has been threatened, objective posts should be made not to ever intentionally harm a girl's reputation, though that may be an unavoidable consequence. The intent should be simply to inform.

That is all. So much for keeping it short and sweet Originally Posted by addict
OK.

Feel better?
You guys must be wealthy, retired or outta work! There has been a lot of time spent here but it is an entertaining read.... (My 2 cents)...All reviews are essential to the decision making process. The good the bad and the ugly. It's really not hard to determine whose exaggerating or whose thumping their chest. Who gives a shit? Sometimes the delivery is skewed by the writers ability to communicate (myself included). If she has an earth shattering "O," hey that's cool and she's cool too! We all know that's a very nice IOP at times but it's nice while she's doing it. I like it! If she didn't do it w/ me I'd be pissed though! Is it real ( in my fantasy it is) but probably not. It's all a fantasy to me until I pop and that's fucking real, FUCKYAAAAAA! (IHO Damaaaaan) So, please don't bad mouth the ladies (anybody can have an off day) unless you have a real problem like getting your nuts cut off by her pimp!
er48665's Avatar
I feel like the lack of honesty or withholding of information in some reviews is due to the fact it comes with consequences. Because of bashing, name calling and backstabbing every review now sounds like a letter to penthouse. You basically have to decipher a review just to extract any valuable information.

If you do choose to be honest being objective is key. Being an asshole ruins your credibility.