Hannah,
Something you may also consider in addition to the inputs above is to meet the newbie hobbyist at a neutral site (coffee shop/bar)...you can arrive early and observe him as he enters - if you do not like what you see, walk away. Or meet him and take it from there...you will have to make your decision at that point. Fortunately, I have P411 so do not have to work through all of the issues.
Good luck - stay safe...
Originally Posted by plainjoe
If I am a hobbysit and the gal just walks away, effectively no-showing me on a meet & greet like this, I would be upset. I am not the kind of guy to blow up and post all kinds of negative stuff on the lady, but there are those who would.
I know I have heard many ladies & guys who have used this approach. I think it is more effective for the guy than the gal. It allows a guy to see the lady & determine if she really looks like her pics, etc. From the lady's standpoint, they generally know they are going to see a fat, bald, overweight old fart. If they expect more, they are nuts. If some good looking guy shows up, if I was them, that would be grounds to run away. In any event, I bet most guys, even an undercover cop, could hold it together for 30 minutes in public to hide their serial killer background. (Ted Bundy picked up women all of the time with his charm.)
P411 is where all newbies should be directed to. I use it and it works great for me. My only regret is that I didn't get it sooner in my hobbying career.
Originally Posted by KenMonk
Some of us aren't comfortable with even P411, though it is probably a better alternative than some. And how safe is a guy with ZERO approvals from the ladies on P411.
Point I am trying to make:
- There is no perfect solution.
- Lady has to do what a lady feels safe doing.
- Guy has to do what a guy feels safe doing.
- All parties should be free to walk if their gut screams " DANGER, Will Robinson, DANGER!"
- Membership here, membership on P411, & all the personal information in the world does not guarantee a safe encounter, nor does it even guarantee that an encounter will ever occur.
- Be willing to walk away from an encounter: There are pretty of fish in the sea. And that is as important a comment to the ladies as the guys. Better to not earn an hour's session fee or to not get that nut you so grandly desire than to get hurt or spend a few hours in a small room with bars that serve no drinks.