Juan in a Million Chicken Enchiladas

So I had lunch at Juan in a Million at 1:30 PM today. Then I hung around SoCo for first Thursday. A bunch of people took pictures with me and I had a good time. Then I got in my car and drove down Riverside to scout for pussy.

Then I was struck by these horrid gas pains. It made me think of Ronnie James Dio and how his stomach cancer would have been detected earlier had he not blamed gas pains. Then it was obvious I would need to find a bathroom quick. It was pushing 11 so it would be difficult to find a fast food restaurant that was open. I was wondering if the Mexican bars would allow a cross dressing white man in their establishment and I decided against it. Then I turned onto Oltorf and noticed Subway. There were people inside eating, so the bathroom must still be open. I got outa the car. I wondered, is the bathroom occupied? Will I need to ask for a key? I judged the distance from the back of the parking lot to the restroom door. I figured I better not chance it, and I let my bowels loose in the Subway parking lot. Then I went inside to finish the job and clean up. If you go there, my mess is probably still there. I wonder who has to clean it up.

I know I am not the only person this has happened to. Tucker Max was banned from some ritzy hotel in downtown Austin for shitting himself in the front lobby. One of the contestants on Flavor of Love shat herself(not that I watch reality TV) and check this clip out:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sOJMV6i3bjM

We need to make a map of places where it is OK to go to the bathroom at night. No need go through the embarrassment of having to defecate in a parking lot, nor be the poor soul to clean it up.