It's been a long time baby

There have been many threads with posts that state what the relation of provider and hobbyist should be. jokacz in one thread said "if it was as simple as XXXXX would have us believe."(hope that is close). Most I have meet where only once, or a few times. Some I wanted to or wished to see more but did not. Most I never really felt a want or need to see again. No matter if the time was bad or good. As I read it sounds so cut and dry. But how can that be. As my hope I got it right quote of jokacz would say, it is not that simple.

example: me
Hunter on and off for 20 years or more
AFT on and off for over 20 years or more also
"One I use to see the most, 15 years
Many over more than a year or two.
Many many more only once or a few times.

I'm not the only one
A provider states that she has known a guy for 2 years. A hobbyist in a states he has dated a provider for 10 years. I may know this guy. As I have known Hunter more than 20 years. Its been about 10 years that I have dated her a lot.

So as I read how the relation is to be. I have a hard time thinking how can very long time relations ever get started? Or is it because of?

Most if they leave I loose contact with. A few I keep in contact with. As with the "one I use to see the most", she has left this a few times. But came back to it. But when she was not in the game. We would call each other a few times a month.


So how can the relation be simple?

There have been many threads with posts that state what the relation of provider and hobbyist should be. jokacz in one thread said "if it was as simple as XXXXX would have us believe."(hope that is close). Most I have meet where only once, or a few times. Some I wanted to or wished to see more but did not. Most I never really felt a want or need to see again. No matter if the time was bad or good. As I read it sounds so cut and dry. But how can that be. As my hope I got it right quote of jokacz would say, it is not that simple.

example: me
Hunter on and off for 20 years or more
AFT on and off for over 20 years or more also
"One I use to see the most, 15 years
Many over more than a year or two.
Many many more only once or a few times.

I'm not the only one
A provider states that she has known a guy for 2 years. A hobbyist in a states he has dated a provider for 10 years. I may know this guy. As I have known Hunter more than 20 years. Its been about 10 years that I have dated her a lot.

So as I read how the relation is to be. I have a hard time thinking how can very long time relations ever get started? Or is it because of?

Most if they leave I loose contact with. A few I keep in contact with. As with the "one I use to see the most", she has left this a few times. But came back to it. But when she was not in the game. We would call each other a few times a month.


So how can the relation be simple? Originally Posted by offshoredrilling

It's never simple, is it?

I used to travel a lot, and after found my ATF in the Syracuse area....used to see her either frequently, or not, as time, funds or circumstances allowed......

It's been many years since she retired and moved, and I've not yet found that ATF since, and maybe never will.

But yet, I seek......

Fantasy relationships are probably not much different that realtime relationships......people are involved, after all!

ash:....... .relationships, right?


OSD....when you find the answer to this question....bottle it and sell it, you'll be rich!!


elg......

Most of what I'm tempted to say, I'll simply go with a "No Comment". Some odds and ends though.

There's really only two providers I've seen for over a year.

One it's all friendly and fun with an occasional email or PM as a sidebar conversation.

The other, we almost never interact between sessions. Within the session though, I think we have a very nice relationship that has a "real" but arms length component.

Given the opportunities I've had to develop a range of relationships and how so few have stuck, I'd say that I need to have a human connection because sex alone, even great sex, is not enough to sustain interest.

And having said that, there's a limit to the relationship that's needed too, to sustain it.

I don't think there is one answer for everyone. I don't even think that all the answers could be described in a dozen different scenarios. Or a hundred. There are nearly endless permutations.

One key to making them work though I think is each individual really needs to understand himself or herself well.

offshore

you are to stable

offshore

you are to stable Originally Posted by sunfish

Stable??????? one is Hunter, and she is the sane one LOL, Joking aside thanks all. But where I am at does not seem to fit the hobby in a way. And I am finding I am not the only one.

I would have to add the the one relation that has changed the most would be with Hunter. When we both joined ASPD( she also joined e.com and I another board that now get little use in upstate NY). There has been less and less non BCD time. Not sure if that is from being on the boards. Or other factors from one or both of us. The other two I have less other times also. But one is from her home life, and the other is health problems. I find I miss that more than the BCD time. Yet reading many of the treads. It sounds as if it not to be part of it. But yet it was for a long time. For me and others.

Here, I really know few. In my past and current(but getting less so as stated) I knew many.
Case in point.

One weekend I would see provider A. But on that Friday night went out with provider B. A went on a date or two then over night with another guy. Next day after they went to a steam tractor meet. Met me for a boat ride. Then latter he left. And I did a date with A, then went swimming. Then dinner and then back at the AC Sat. night where she may or may not go out on a date but latter leave for a over night to another guys house. And Sunday C would show up to watch TV and or play cards. The next week may be go dancing with B or a movie with C.

All where paid for the P4P. But the other stuff was well not free. More like what both wanted to do.

Guess I'm still living a past that is really no longer. And not to be repeated. But the ride is great, even if almost over.

Given the opportunities I've had to develop a range of relationships and how so few have stuck, I'd say that I need to have a human connection because sex alone, even great sex, is not enough to sustain interest.

And having said that, there's a limit to the relationship that's needed too, to sustain it. Originally Posted by NormalBob

Bob, I borrowed part of your quote. I want to but can't add anything to this, as is a reflection of my sentiments. Although, the actual time spent together for sex is but a fraction of the cumulative, and the remainder of the time may require that ongoing connection to sustain.


OSD, great topic! And you never know, you say your ride is almost over, but a new one may just be around the corner, not quite yet be in sight, or maybe is and you just don't see it yet?

Even from a provider standpoint, the relationship isn't that simple. You think that at the end of the appointment that is it, it ends and you move on. And for many of the appointments that is true.

However, I have a hand-full of clients that cross my mind every so often.

For instance, One gent I used to see through EENY. We became friends and chatted a lot during our time but never crossed the provider/client boundries. He actually out of the blue contacted me. His timing was kind of perfect because that day I had actually thought to my self... "I wonder how XXXX is?"

My regulars I will always care for and think of from time to time. And it's always great to catch up with when visiting!!

I am sure even when I retire I will think of many of you from time to time. Just like how when a client retires, I am sure he keeps his memories of the ladies and time spent close to him. One to relive that moment, but when an ATF becomes one, I think in a sense a form of a relationship is formed.

No we are not here to be "bf/gf" but I think it's almost human instict to form that relationship. But you do need to know how to handle the relationship and not cross lines.

No we are not here to be "bf/gf" but I think it's almost human instict to form that relationship. But you do need to know how to handle the relationship and not cross lines. Originally Posted by BrookeButtons

+1




elg......

OSD, great topic! And you never know, you say your ride is almost over, but a new one may just be around the corner, not quite yet be in sight, or maybe is and you just don't see it yet? Originally Posted by Laker

Well as I see it, when the end of two relations happen as they are now. I will just have to start hobbying (mmm that is not a word????)more again. And if it happens it happens. If not, then that's the way it goes. As I would not want to force it on one. As the payment would be a bad thread with me the unnamed subject.

But the as AFT just called to ask what I was up to at 3pm it ant dead yet!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Feeling a need for get away from home.....

mmmmm booke called her self the b word in another thread. May be I just have not met Miss next!!!!!!!!!!!!!! May have to play the hobby game. Just not this afternoon!!!!!!!

shower time: will be back

mmmmm brooke called her self the b word in another thread

lol that i did but at lease I admit when I am being a bitch :P

Thus giving new meaning to the initials BBB

back that was fun dye her hair for her

nap time for me

OSD & Brooke...couldn't agree more!

OSD & Brooke...couldn't agree more! Originally Posted by neversoft

mmmm I must be more careful when thinking out loud.

But then

each man must be aloud to pick his own poison
even if most of the time, she just takes him