Need advice of women

I hate to post this here because I will have to weed through so much BS, off topic, slams, etc comments. But, I don't have a lot of women to ask advice from so here goes.

Background:
I see a nice young woman, not a provider, from time to time. Sometimes I may help her with her bills but not all the time and never at her request. We have seen each other for over a year but never full time or exclusively.

I take a number of medications, specifically at night before bed. Most of the time I am in bed by the time they take effect but sometimes they take a while to have their effect so I may stay up a little while. The 2 are usually no problem, but sometimes, they interact and if I am not in bed, they will give me one hell of a buzz as in high as a kite.

Problem:
I woke up today and found a text on my phone that she had just read my text. Then nothing more from her. I looked at the thread and it appears the night before she text me asking if I wanted to come see her. Based on the time, I had taken my meds and they had a very strong effect causing me to be really out of it. I don’t remember the text to me or my response at all. It appears I was very graphic and specific about what I wanted to do with her. As in PSE could be considered mild graphic.

I never talk or act like that. I am very conservative and respectful of women, especially her. My only excuse is I had a very strong med reaction. I have apologized and attempted to explain and apologize some more to her via text but no response.

I really like this girl and am mortified I did this. Don't want to screw it up. I know I should give her some time to calm down and hopefully she will understand and accept my apology. But I am very bad at waiting. Other than wait, any other advice from you ladies? Sending flowers, etc is not practical at this time.

I think you should send her your apology in writing. That way, she can read it again and again and make sense of it. Tell her about your medication and if this certain medication has a known side effect, she should be able to research it. Since you've been seeing each other a while, I hope she will be able to see that this is out of character for you.

I think Samantha gave you the right advice.

I agree also.

But have you tried calling?
More times than many, texts are misconstrued and seems to be that people forgot how to communicate the old fashioned way.

If she doesn't answer, nor responds to your email, you really should give her some time.

IMHO, there is nothing worse than someone who continues to push when one wants or needs space.

Good Luck to you!

It might even help to get your doctor to write a letter explaining this drug interaction.

It depends on what your reply was when you were out of it. If you referenced the hobby you may be in a tough situation. A graphic text exposing what you really (subconsciously) want to do with her shouldn't be hard to wiggle your way around. Unless you're calling her out because she wont do it..Or, she thinks the text was meant for someone else.

A true friend would forgive and forget.

Been lurking for awhile but I thought I chime in on this one...

Own your actions. Be confident in who you are.. bitches love confidence! ;-) You may regret what you said in a impaired stupper (who amoung us hasn't drunk/high texted before. that's part of the fun of getting f'd up). You will be impaired again and hell next time she just may show up with a chick, chick with a dick, a midget and small pony!
But seriously a phone call apology beats a text any day and of course the doctors note isn't a bad idea either!

Agree with a written apology, on a nice card. Then wait.

Be careful here. You need to apologize but you don't want to be a pansy when you do it. Women dig confidence not pavlovs dog.

So what does she love, flowers, chocolate, wine? Get it, write a nice card.

The apology. You are sorry, you didn't mean to shock her. You were inebriated and shared a pretty dark fantasy. And most importantly. Tell her you care about her, you value the relationship, and you want to continue it. And please tell her, while it is your fantasy, you would never force her to do something she didn't want to do. But if she wants to try new things, you will be slow and gentle.

After you tell her you value the relationship and want to continue, the ball is hers. You ignore her until she comes back. If she doesn't, her loss.

I had a woman recently pen me a nastygram. I didnt get mad or escalate the situation. But rest assured she won't hear from me again until she figures out how to say sorry. As a man, once you lay it out there and make your decision, you own it no matter how things turn out. I liked this woman too, but cest la vive. I owned my choice she has to own hers.

Be nice, apologize, but never ever let any woman think you are a Pussy they can manipulate.

I f'd up, sorry; I still value our relationship. Done.

Agree !

Be careful here. You need to apologize but you don't want to be a pansy when you do it. Women dig confidence not pavlovs dog.

So what does she love, flowers, chocolate, wine? Get it, write a nice card.

The apology. You are sorry, you didn't mean to shock her. You were inebriated and shared a pretty dark fantasy. And most importantly. Tell her you care about her, you value the relationship, and you want to continue it. And please tell her, while it is your fantasy, you would never force her to do something she didn't want to do. But if she wants to try new things, you will be slow and gentle.

After you tell her you value the relationship and want to continue, the ball is hers. You ignore her until she comes back. If she doesn't, her loss.

I had a woman recently pen me a nastygram. I didnt get mad or escalate the situation. But rest assured she won't hear from me again until she figures out how to say sorry. As a man, once you lay it out there and make your decision, you own it no matter how things turn out. I liked this woman too, but cest la vive. I owned my choice she has to own hers.

Be nice, apologize, but never ever let any woman think you are a Pussy they can manipulate.

I f'd up, sorry; I still value our relationship. Done. Originally Posted by bbtony

... any other advice from you ladies? Originally Posted by OldButStillGoing

Funny how so many gents have responded. Maybe getting in touch with their feminine side?

Good luck to you, brother. I hope you do update the thread with your reconciliation attempts and results.

JY, nothing wrong with a guy in touch with his feminine side. But you also need to realize, a lot of young women don't know crap, and a lot of men are clueless too. I stand behind the advice I gave 100% even though I'm a guy. Plenty of men and women would both screw this one up. I provided a way to unfuck the situation which should work. If it doesn't work, you move on.

So JY, when ladies start telling me I'm fucked up, I will start listening. But right now they are all telling me I'm cool and fun, except for one possibly two. I like my odds.

I responded trying to help. At the end of the day, OBSG has to make his own choice and live with it. That's man shit, and no woman can give advice like I gave. They can however say whether or not they might respond to my approach. I bet most of them would at least want to talk about using the approach I outlined.

As for me its lunchtime. I'm going to go flirt with some young girl that works in this building and keep improving my skills.

The advice I give works at home, at work, in bars, and with women in general.

I will give you a freebie. The best pick up line ever. Smile, look her in the eyes and say, "Hi, my name is......" This works on all of them way better than cornball shit.

Thank you all for your kind replys. I have indeed tried calling and had to leave voice mail. As much I would like to, I cannot send flowers, etc. The only other contact option is to go where she is a waitress and try to get her to wait on me. I think I will wait a week or two before trying that. No, I did not mention the hobby though she knows I do dabble. My reply simply explained I was very sorry, there was a medication reaction and I would never try to make her do any of the things I said nor would I ever talk to her that way normaly. I did tell her the meds I take so she can check it out if she wants.

I have expalined the drug interaction problem both in text and voice mail. Its one of the reasons I do not drink for several hours before bed. The stuff does whats its suppose to but can be real shit sometimes. I am really supprised I was even able to type what I sent her. Focus and fine vision are the first things to go when I get one of these reactions. Even walking is hard.

I guess all I can do now is wait and see if she gets over it or not. She is 21 and sometimes at that age, one does not have the maturity to know people can screw up and to forgive and forget.

Ah well, it will be what it will be.

Bbtony, nothing wrong with your advice or any of the other advice given so far. Different methods work for different people and different circumstances. Hope I have tried the right way.

Again thanks for the kind replies.

Old sometimes a person needs space. If you have tried to say you are sorry and she knows you mean it give her time. She maybe hurt at the moment and confused. If yall are true friends then she will end up talking to you unless she is more stubborn then I am. I wish you the best. Take care TP