Transition to civilian life...

  • jarza
  • 03-28-2010, 12:05 PM
There's been quite a few threads on forum (not just Dallas) with providers quiting, retiring etc. So the curious george in me got thinking. Can providers adjust back to civie life? With civie jobs, you work longer hours, need to deal with bosses, possibly pesky co-workers, and the pay is no where close. (Example, entry level general service worker, lets say $10/hr, 40 hours a week, 15% tax, that's 400-60=340(netpay), something that most provider can take care of in 1-2 hours. Example2, entry level college degree position, lets say $25/hr, 40 hours a week, 20% tax, 1000-200=800, again, most providers can make that in 3 to 4 hours. No boss, work on your own time.) How do you plan to adjust? Again, this is another one of my random curious george thoughts, hopefully I don't become like the magician in this emote.
The girls have to get the calls to make the money. Times are tough in general for most of the girls. I think if we surveyed the ladies out there and got a truthful answer you would find that they are not nearly all getting rich working in this business. In fact, very few are. Considering their expenses, car, gas, advertising, incall location whether it is a hotel room or an apartment (and then all the expenses to go along with it). Remember, this is a business (although a personal one). The girls have to perform to ensure that the client will repeat. Without repeat clients it is a rough and bumpy road. Always worrying about screening and being safe but at the same time having to make $$$$ to pay the bills. Though few will admit it, many of the girls have an substance abuse problem (alcohol or drugs), credit cards maxxed to the limit if they haven't already been cancelled, a pimp that takes all their money or can't go to the mall without spending every cent in the pocket. It is not an easy business to be in. Then there is the privacy issue when you can't tell your best friends or family what you do for a living.
JohnBoyjrh's Avatar
If you're good at what you do , you're generally successful no matter what business you're in. You do have to work at it and pay attention to the details. Being a successful provider is no harder than being a successful business owner. Got to work, work , and work. Non of it is easy. Looking at all the worries a Provider has to deal with, a legitimate business owner could come up with just as many or more.
mikahranae's Avatar
The girls have to get the calls to make the money. Times are tough in general for most of the girls. I think if we surveyed the ladies out there and got a truthful answer you would find that they are not nearly all getting rich working in this business. In fact, very few are. Considering their expenses, car, gas, advertising, incall location whether it is a hotel room or an apartment (and then all the expenses to go along with it). Remember, this is a business (although a personal one). The girls have to perform to ensure that the client will repeat. Without repeat clients it is a rough and bumpy road. Always worrying about screening and being safe but at the same time having to make $$$$ to pay the bills. Though few will admit it, many of the girls have an substance abuse problem (alcohol or drugs), credit cards maxxed to the limit if they haven't already been cancelled, a pimp that takes all their money or can't go to the mall without spending every cent in the pocket. It is not an easy business to be in. Then there is the privacy issue when you can't tell your best friends or family what you do for a living. Originally Posted by oleguy
I think the girls that really aren't getting the calls should think about retiring. I can honestly say I would leave escorting alone if it got to the point I could not take care of my bills and still have money to save. There are just too many risks associated to this biz and it's not worth it if I am barely getting by. To the ladies that are having a difficult time right now, please don't take my post to offense. I understand there are hard times and we all have to deal with them. I just mean the ladies that consistently find it hard to pay bills and still have money to live on. Is it really worth it? The bottom line is providers just need to be more responsible with their money. If a lady comes into this business and wants to do it for X amount of time, they should have a plan and stick to it. If done correctly they could have alot of money to live off of while they are transitioning to the real world. Take Nicole Preston for example. She is able to prepay herself through school and still have money to live off of while she is in school. She has said herself that she never bought extravagant cars and never spent alot of money on unnecessary things.
mikahranae's Avatar
If you're good at what you do , you're generally successful no matter what business you're in. You do have to work at it and pay attention to the details. Being a successful provider is no harder than being a successful business owner. Got to work, work , and work. Non of it is easy. Looking at all the worries a Provider has to deal with, a legitimate business owner could come up with just as many or more. Originally Posted by JohnBoyjrh
+1....can't be a lazy (escort) and expect to be rich one day.
Bestman200600's Avatar
There are probably over 600 girls in the business in DFW. There are only so many hobbyist and the good ones are hard to come by. Many have an ATF or 2. Best of luck to all of the girls.
  • jarza
  • 03-28-2010, 04:10 PM
...The bottom line is providers just need to be more responsible with their money. If a lady comes into this business and wants to do it for X amount of time, they should have a plan and stick to it. If done correctly they could have alot of money to live off of while they are transitioning to the real world. Take Nicole Preston for example. She is able to prepay herself through school and still have money to live off of while she is in school. She has said herself that she never bought extravagant cars and never spent alot of money on unnecessary things. Originally Posted by mikahranae
+1 for mikahranae, this is the direction my curiosity was heading, NOT another rant about easy money for anything. More of transition and plans.
pyramider's Avatar
Ragnar on the p put it best . . . "Providers never retire, they just get pickier."
TheWanderer's Avatar
I see your point Jarza. Besides the financial issues, I think they may have a difficult time seeing men in a normal way and a hard time with normal relationships. Relationships are full of ups and downs and during a down time, they may feel like he should be leaving his gift on the nightstand.
I've seen some women become so calloused emotionally that they had a hard time giving freely of themselves. I also think they would have a hard time dealing with the career ladder, office politics and realizing there are dues to be paid. If they have been out of the business world for years, they are going to find younger people ahead of them. I think the temptation would be there to return until they realize that's no longer an option.
Can providers adjust back to civie life?
Yes. We can/do/will. Do we all? Probably not.

With civie jobs, you work longer hours, need to deal with bosses, possibly pesky co-workers, and the pay is no where close.
The pay may not be anywhere close but trust me when I tell you that sometimes it would be easier dealing with longer hours, bosses and pesky co-workers instead of the guy who hits us, steals from us, cops who try to bust us, the smelly guy, the obnoxious guy, the guy who left crap stains on our sheets, the guy who tried to slip the condom off, you get the idea.

How do you plan to adjust?
The same way we adjust back to civilian life when you leave. Just for a longer period of time. Work hat on, work hat off.

The girls have to get the calls to make the money. Times are tough in general for most of the girls. I think if we surveyed the ladies out there and got a truthful answer you would find that they are not nearly all getting rich working in this business. In fact, very few are. Considering their expenses, car, gas, advertising, incall location whether it is a hotel room or an apartment (and then all the expenses to go along with it). Remember, this is a business (although a personal one). The girls have to perform to ensure that the client will repeat. Without repeat clients it is a rough and bumpy road. Always worrying about screening and being safe but at the same time having to make $$$$ to pay the bills. It is not an easy business to be in. Then there is the privacy issue when you can't tell your best friends or family what you do for a living. Originally Posted by oleguy
There are probably over 600 girls in the business in DFW. There are only so many hobbyist and the good ones are hard to come by. Many have an ATF or 2. Best of luck to all of the girls. Originally Posted by Bestman200600
Finally, 2 guys who actually get it.

Besides the financial issues, I think they may have a difficult time seeing men in a normal way and a hard time with normal relationships. Relationships are full of ups and downs and during a down time, they may feel like he should be leaving his gift on the nightstand.

That's about the dumbest thing I ever heard. This business has more ups and downs than any relationship could ever possibly have. About the only thing that is more difficult in a relationship, is that having been in this business, we are less tolerant of a guy's bullshit. We don't put up with much.

I also think they would have a hard time dealing with the career ladder, office politics and realizing there are dues to be paid.

Puleeeeze. Anybody can get into this business. But you have to be one tough woman to last in this business. I really don't think that you guys have a clue as to what we deal with on a daily basis in this business. Office politics and career ladders are simple tasks compared to this. Paying dues? You pay more dues in this business than any other.

If they have been out of the business world for years, they are going to find younger people ahead of them.
LMAO and how is that any different than what us seasoned ladies are already facing?

Such nonsense. Some of you guys act like just because we have been providers, we cannot be functioning members of society.

Meg
As a provider who tried her hand at retirement (it lasted for the last two years; I've returned but will never go anywhere near the volume of business I was doing two or three years ago when I "retired"...by choice, thankuveddymuch....) it is do-able. It certainly depends upon the girl. Many ladies get into this and spend what they make without investing in their future or even setting some simple goals for themselves. That was a lesson I had to learn the hard way...but isn't hindsight always 20/20?

The bigger adjustment for me, was in being in a "square" relationship! Not so much my cup of tea!

It can be done, and successfully. It's an adjustment like anything else. But just beacuse money comes easy - and in the long run, it ends up being anything BUT easy - doesn't always equal happiness. There is BS to deal with in any job, it's all a matter of what you are willing to put up with, and doing what will get you to your goals. Hobby or civilian, matters not.
Some of us are either college educated or attending college. Im sure the field they choose to study was a good one, meaning when they completed their schooling, they should end up making more money or at least tip the scale.

Hmm the corporate ladder. Well for me (fingers crossed ), my bosses and co-workers will be very limited. Beats LE sniffing behind you. I won't have to worry about being robbed on the job.

Personal relationships. Goody, well my BS button will be extra shiny and working. Im sure settling down with one person won't be so bad, but relieving. When i am ready.

Not all of us are party girls, or chronic mall shoppers, some of us live very simple quiet uneventful lives.

Nice thread
Good insight by several different people. I may be different than most of the guys out there. I don't thrive on variety. I like to know the person I'm visiting with and will see that person for and over again as long as she makes the time I spend with her enjoyable. The first lady I met in this businesss I saw her exclusively for 4 years. We had overnights together in several different cities including Orlando, Ft. Myers, Ft. Lauderdale, Atlanta, Nashville, Indianapolis, Detroit and Dallas. I would still be seeing her to this day if they hadn't got married and moved away to Arizona. Many of our times together for 3-4 days at a time. I like spinners. I like good communication between the two of us. At the point that the communication is lacking I will move on.
TheWanderer's Avatar
Can providers adjust back to civie life?

Besides the financial issues, I think they may have a difficult time seeing men in a normal way and a hard time with normal relationships. Relationships are full of ups and downs and during a down time, they may feel like he should be leaving his gift on the nightstand.

That's about the dumbest thing I ever heard. This business has more ups and downs than any relationship could ever possibly have. About the only thing that is more difficult in a relationship, is that having been in this business, we are less tolerant of a guy's bullshit. We don't put up with much.
Originally Posted by hotlips_houlihan
WOW! I could not have asked for a better example to prove my point. "We" don't put up with much.
I was talking about the ability to have a normal, healthy and trusting relationship. That sounds like the rules for a session.
I believe the topic of this thread was "Transition to civilian life....
I didn't think it was the same tired old subject about the economy and why is everybody struggling.

I guess I didn't clarify my response. Let's just say a girl wants to get out of the business for whatever reason - it's become too dangerous, she's tired of seeing old fat smelly guys, she wants to get married...whatever...
If she has never had a regular job, there are going to be brand new hurdles and obstacles that she is probably not aware of which may cause her to backslide into the business. I'm not saying she can't do it, but I have personally observed the recidivism rate to be about 90%, at least on the 1st attempt.

Puleeeeze. Anybody can get into this business.
That's right but apparently it's a little harder to get out and stay out.

If they have been out of the business world for years, they are going to find younger people ahead of them.
LMAO and how is that any different than what us seasoned ladies are already facing?
The big difference there is that those younger ladies are your competition in this business. In the civilian world, they might be your boss. I've certainly witnessed people having a hard time taking orders from someone 15 or 20 years younger than they are.

Again, just to clarify - I have no doubt in my mind that this business has challenges that the average woman could not handle. For example, the CEOs of Xerox, Pepsi and Sara Lee (which owns Hanes) are all women. I doubt they could handle one hour in this business. At the same time, until the average provider puts in 30 years in the business world, I doubt she could handle the job of a Fortune 500 CEO.
But I have now done a 180 degree turnaround in my way of thinking. I used to feel sympathy along with a little admiration for the girls that I realized would probably like to get out (as many have told me that was their future plans). But now I know there is no excuse.

Office politics and career ladders are simple tasks compared to this. Paying dues? You pay more dues in this business than any other.
Now I know the only reason they cannot leave the lifestyle and excel in the regular world is because they don't want to.
pyramider's Avatar
When the money is flowing its intoxicating. Simple as that.