HOOKER HUMOR

Snow is like a Cock. It's measured in inches, soft to the touch, cums when you least expect it and at times never gets as deep as you would like it to.

Driving in the snow is like eating pussy. If you don't slow down and pay attention, you could slide into the asshole in front of you.

Be Safe out there Everyone!!

Well that was a timely public safety announcement.

Yeah I couldn't help myself

What does sex and snow have in common?

Never know when its gonna happen....
How deep it'll be.
How long it will last.

LMAO. Good ones Guys!!

Figured out why Santa Claus is so damn jolly.



He knows where all the Naughty women live.…

Santa slipped down a chimney into this very nice gorgeous house. He was pulling gifts out his sack when he heard a noise. He raise up turns and behind him is a lovely young thing in a sheer gown and night gown. In a very sexy voice, she said "Santa you should stay a little while". Santa looked at her, looked at the toy bag, shook his head and said "HO HO HO Got to go, Got toys to delived to the Kids you know"

So Santa returns to placing gifts under the tree. Now he hears a noise under the tree across from him. He turns and low and behold this lovely lady has removed her gown, now laying up under the tree in only the see-thru nitty. Again in a super sexy voice she again ask Sant to please stay for awhile. Santa wipes sweat of his brow, shakes his head, clears his throat saying "HO HO HO Got to Go, Got toys to deliver to the kids you know"

Well Santa returns to placing toys under the tree, doing his best to continue spreading joy. All of a sudden the beautiful young tanned lady Wiggles further around the tree rattling paper on the packages. Now once again Santa raises up, turns and this prize Is fully naked in red hi heels with her legs slightly spread, one hand touching her clit and the other rubbing her right breast. She again speaks in the sexy, sultryest voice begging and pleading for Santa to stay. Santa slightly moans, almost unable to speak. He's sweating, finally he opens his mouth and says

HEY, HEY, HEY Gotta stay, can't get up the chimney with my Dick this way.........

Why is a penis like a fish, asked one gal to another?
Cause the small ones you throw back, the medium ones you eat and the large ones you mount.

A man walked into the bar with a suitcase. He took a stool, opened the case and took a little man and piano out and set them on the bar. As the man started playing another patron said, that is amazing, how did you get him? The first man said he was shipwrecked on a desert isle, found a bottle with a genie and this was one of his wishes. The patron said, man I wish I had found a genie, I know what I would wish for. The man said, well you are in luck, because I only used 2 wishes. He reached into the case, grabbed a bottle and said, here, it's yours. The patron opened the bottle and asked the genie for a million bucks. Suddenly feathers and ducks were everywhere. Oh, the man said, I forgot to tell you the genie was hard of hearing. You don't think I wished for a 12 inch pianist, do you.

Lmmfao!!! You guys are freaking killing me!!!

An old man walks into a whorehouse and says "I want to shoot my wad!"

The madam says jokingly " Grandpa, you done shot your wad!"

The old man with a puzzled look on his face says " Well...then how much do I owe ya?"

Ever wonder why Frosty the Snowman is so happy?...



He heard the snowblower was coming!!!!!!!!!!

Do you know the difference between a blowjob and a cheeseburger?
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No? Want to have lunch to morrow? We can grab a burger.

Yeah. She is ugly but she can suck start a Harley Davidson.