OK - Sex with SO or Sex with Provider?

If this has been covered before, well, just ignore.

OK - one of the shitty ironies of my hobbying life...

I've been in a relationship with the same woman for over 10 years. Obviously, the frequency of sex is down from what it was at first.

So I hobby. Plus, I get to meet tons of hot girls and do fun stuff with them. But here's the cruel twist:

How come I get WAY more turned on when it's with the SO than with a provider? I mean: WTF? There are times when I am with a girl who is hotter than my SO ( and I've never been with her before) and my penis is basically falling asleep. Bored to sleep by new pussy? Stupid penis!

That never happens with the old ball and chain. Does anybody else have the same sort of experience as I do? When I was a younger man just the possibility of some strange made me hard as steel.

Now it's my SO that gets me all hot and bothered? What the hell is wrong with me? And if the lovely young lady who I spent some time with this morning is reading this - all apologies. It was my fault, not yours...

In a twisted way I think that means you feel closer to your SO than before.

I've sometimes experienced the same problem...not really sure why either.

I bet I know why....

Let me put myself in your shoes.

If I were a guy, and my wife/SO hardly ever wanted some anymore - I'd probably venture out for some strange.

At first, the excitement of some new, fresh pussy would be great.
But then all of a sudden, I hit on my wife...and whadda ya know....SHE'S WANTING IT. She wants ME.
Not my money.
Not my reviews.
Not to get me off as fast as she can so she can get me out the door to accept the next pay check....

It's not just a visual stimulation.

Knowing that you are truly, positively....without a doubt wanted for what you are bringing to the table....is an outstanding ego boost.

Don't feel bad about it.

If you want that kind of chemistry (well, close to it anyways) to occur when you hobby - then find one girl and make repeat visits.....but I'd find a genuine type. She may not be the prettiest girl on the boards....but if she does to you what your SO does, then you'd be getting the best of both worlds.


Hobby on my friends....

Hobby on.

Wait a sec . . . SO's actually have sex?

Yep, believe it or not, they do. Mine likes it about every ten days or so.

And I'm pretty sure she likes me for me, and not for my money or reviews. At least I hope that's true.

I was thinking about this more, and I think I may have it figured out:

She has ten years of training. She know EXACTLY what I like. She does little tricks that most providers don't do.

And there are things that she WON'T do. And that's why I hobby, really. If she were into threesomes and facials and swallowing... Well, no reason to finish that thought...


I'm just frustrated that my dumb dick won't cooperate sometimes when I'm getting something I want. It's like going to the movies and then your eyes deciding they don't want to focus or going to a restaurant and your taste buds decide to take the night off.

I bet I know why....

Let me put myself in your shoes.

If I were a guy, and my wife/SO hardly ever wanted some anymore - I'd probably venture out for some strange.

At first, the excitement of some new, fresh pussy would be great.
But then all of a sudden, I hit on my wife...and whadda ya know....SHE'S WANTING IT. She wants ME.
Not my money.
Not my reviews.
Not to get me off as fast as she can so she can get me out the door to accept the next pay check....

It's not just a visual stimulation.

Knowing that you are truly, positively....without a doubt wanted for what you are bringing to the table....is an outstanding ego boost.

Don't feel bad about it.

If you want that kind of chemistry (well, close to it anyways) to occur when you hobby - then find one girl and make repeat visits.....but I'd find a genuine type. She may not be the prettiest girl on the boards....but if she does to you what your SO does, then you'd be getting the best of both worlds.


Hobby on my friends....

Hobby on. Originally Posted by tntangie

Well, that makes sense. Duh.

Sometimes my ineptitude in reading women surprises even me...

Could it be nervousness? Meeting someone new is causing you to get nervous now whereas you know exactly what to expect and that you'll be accepted as-is by your SO?

Or you could just not even try to figure it out and just go get the blue pill. Heard that'll get you up even if you're staring at a wall.

Maybe it's from guilt!

You mention that your wife won't do threesomes, facials, or swallow! But, you say that it is difficult for you with a provider! Are you able to do any of these activities with a provider?


I think it's wonderful that your wife still turns you on!

My suggestion would be for you and your wife to see a sex therapist!

Lana may be onto something w the sex therapist

BUT be forewarned

If she percieves that everything is "good and on track" and u surprise her by discussing sex therapy....well, be prepared for gettin none from her for a while.

A. That's an awful lot of pressure. I can only perform well on demand if I'm at the freethrow line.
B. Be prepared for her to blame herself, which inturn creates a form of depression which ultimately could not just keep u from getting SO ass, but maybe not having her around at all.


Believe me, im not talkin out my ass on that one

I'm guessing it's more of a non-physical connection to her that's turning you on. Sometimes it's probably that there is a comfort factor in knowing your SO is safe, no LE or pimp is going to bust in on you and no fear of STD's with the SO.

I like to play too because the SO isn't into swallowing and a little strange is immensely exciting, but the SO feels like "Home". You are not alone, friend.

Yep, those would be my options - sex with my SO OR sex with a provider (not AND). My hobby days ended when I met my fiancee. Although I occasionally think it would be fun to see a provider, I rememmber the reason I decided to date instead of hobby was that civillian sex had always been better than hobby sex. My fiancee doesn't do doubles, but she never does a NC/NS or cancel and she always returns phone calls and texts promptly, so I prefer the SO.

Still cheaper to rent rather than buy.

I don't think the sex therapist is necessary... The SO does lots of fun stuff, she's just not into girls or getting super involved at the end of a blow job.

And yes - HELL YES - I like doing those things with providers. It's just that it takes me forever to get all turned on. It's not a physical thing - so no blue pill unless I want to just force the issue... It really is more mental.

Soooooo... It might be guilt. It may be fear of LE or Pimp or whatever.

Nervousness, brand new encounter...if you saw the same Provider say, every other week for a year, you'll get to know her better, the two of you will open up more, trust each other (YMMV) more, etc. Plus (and BIG plus) if you're doing bareback with the SO and not with Providers, ya can't beat that. I also think that sex with your SO a lot of the times is not planned, spontaneous, which is also hotter.