Ten-HUT!

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Tom, who was in the Air Force, had just spent a year tour unaccompanied on an outpost in Shemya, Alaska. The first night he got home, he exclaimed to his wife," Honey, I want you to know that I haven't wasted all this time alone. Instead, I've mastered the art of mind over matter. Just watch this!'
And with that he dropped his pants and shorts and stood before her in his altogether. "Now watch this," he said. Next he said," Dick, ten-HUT!" And with that, his dick sprang to full erection. Then he said," Dick, at EASE!" And his dick deflated again. "
Wow, that was amazing, "said his wife." Do you mind if I bring our next-door neighbour over to see this? It's really something else!" Tom responded that he didn't mind at all, since he was proud of what he had accomplished.
So the wife goes next door and comes back with a delicious looking blond with big tits and tight jeans, who got the guys full attention!
"Joanie, this is my husband Tom, he has something to demonstrate." After a brief pause to take her in, he drops his pants and said," Now watch this." Then he said" Dick, ten-HUT!" And the dick sprang to life. Then it was" Dick, at EASE!" But nothing happened.
So the guy again said," Dick, at EASE!" But still nothing happened. So the guy now says," For the last time, you son-of-a-bitch, I said AT EASE!!" Still nothing. Well, the guy was embarrassed and ran off to the bathroom.
His wife made excuses for him and then joined her husband in the bathroom, where she found him masturbating. "What in the world are you doing?" She asked. The guy says," I'm giving' this son-of-a-bitch a dishonourable discharge!"