Favorite Witty Quotes

Have any cool or favorite quotes?

I'll start:

Have the day you deserve ....

A good man is hard to find, but a hard man is better!

Hold on, I'll call... WAA-BUL-ANCE!!!!

*Mostly reserved for WOOSIES, OH POOR ME'S, THE WORLD OWES ME!... or our latest fav "waa... waa... they have that NBA RULE!!

The Dude abides.

Live life full throttle!

Ride it like ya stole it!

Sin like ya mean it!

'Scuse me while I whip this out.

"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read." - Groucho Marx

"You can lead a horticulture but you can't make her think" - Dorothy Parker

Here is another quote from Ms Parker that you might find more amusing:

"Brevity is the soul of lingerie"

And a poem:

I like a martini
but two at the most
three I'm under the table
four I'm under the host

"Hey, where the white women at?" - Bart, Blazing Saddles


"A lack of prior planning on your part does not make it an emergency on my part."

" A man that would not cheat in a game of cards for a poke..... Don't want one bad enough. "

Of course money doesn't grow on trees. Sticks grow on trees. If money grew on sticks, the species would be extinct.

You can dress up a pig and take it to the prom, but it is still a pig... ~Judge Judy~

You can change the name of a skunk but she can't change her odor .... Anonymous

If you don't like me remember it's mind over matter.

I don't mind and YOU DON'T MATTER!!!!

Always go to other people's funeral, if you don't, they won't come to yours

Yogie Berra