i'd like to hear from hobbyists and providers-and lurkers too-about some unexpected ways in which you got ur umm..nut

so not everyone hits the big o in exactly the same way. in fact, i've heard some folks describe downright unusual ways and means by which they reached sustained tetany-whole body jerks and whatnot-that were, at a minimum, quirky. i'm thinking like vacuum cleaners, hot jacuzzi tubs, a hot office secretary who is merely bouncing one leg over the other when suddenly things start to vibrate down there as her leg moves faster and faster, or an LMT session when the action moves to her very sore feet, the garden variety deep tissue massage suddenly becomes..well, more explosive. so that's pretty much the topic of this thread, tho funny tangents are always welcomed..

i've had a few of my own, and have witnessed a fair number of others as well. i will share a few of my stories after i've read a couple of yours.

i could have titled this thread "when the ho hum be cums hotter than a hot hoe's bum," but i'm too lazy to change it now. sorry. not sorry.

Unfortunately nothing for me but I could give my ex an actual O, accompanied by pussy wetness and tingling, by a giving her a sensual foot massage.

Ladies who let me CIM bare gets me off quickly. Especially if they know what they are doing! I know this isn’t unusual but it was for me at the time because my friend was just into heavy petting.

Jessica at the former Relax Massage on corporate before it changed names to Perfecta, I mostly just wanted a brief massage and a tug, I covered a total of $100.00 she took her clothes off on the flip so I started touching her pussy and nice ass as she stroked my cock, I reckon I wasn’t finishing as quick as she wanted and asked me point blank “you want to fuck me” she didn’t go fetch a cover so I just tapped her bent over the massage table and spilled on her ass crack, she had requested “not inside.” No additional tip required.

nice ones gents. lets hear some more. i know some of you gals have stories about vacuum cleaners or rotary sanders that you went all acg on when you thought no one was watching, and the power tool or vacuum cleaner gave you a way better nut than your bf at the time, who was pretty clueless about the female anatomy and the importance of your clit to full satisfaction. stop holding out on us, dammit..

well for anyone who has followed some of my wacky ass threads may have picked up on an undercurrent of a pretty legit distaste for my sorry ass hoa, but lately i've been the one gettin most of the laughs. u know, every dog has its day eventually..

so, this is kind of one of those fuck you hoa, funny ass shenanigans. i'm out at one our community pools-one of which just turned green a few weeks ago, but that's a whole nother story unto itself-when i happened to walk by one of the water jets that i guess recirculates water back into the pool after getting filtered through the drain. i wasn't exactly expecting it, but i'm always open to new experiences, or at least some new experiences lets say, and this fucking crazy jet of water hit me at just the right angle and speed and location that it felt like some kind of wack ass pse blowjob. so i get out of the pool and i get my phone and return to the same spot to catch up on the latest news and whatnot. i guess i can be pretty damn unexpressive, as i just chilled out in the same spot and kept catching up on current events until, you guessed it, i blew like a geyser but i had nothing on Old Faithful. and i look around to see if anyone had even the slightest inkling, and nope everything was all quiet on the pool front, except for a couple of squirrels chasing each other up an oak tree. i bet they knew what was up tho. animals always know what tf is up when it cums to gettin freaky..

but as far as pissing in the HOA pool, even if i try really hard, i just cant get myself to do it. i think it's because i see in my mind's eye my old man holding this 2 chamber vial test that if it turned pink when he dipped it in the pool water, all the neighborhood kids were banned from our pool for the next month because the freakin test showed there was at least like 1 ppm of piss in our forty foot pool that he'd do a 100 laps in every night. that left an impression on me about pissing in pools. not cool. really hot bathtub sprays? totally different story, especially if it was a hottie just fucking unleashing every damn where that suited her fancy. even better if it was good ol fashion orgasmic squirting, which is usually way better than just straight piss..