FastGoon will spend his remaining days in a straight jacket locked in a padded room, after he learns from The Onion that Obama is the Kenyan word for “Bush”.
WDF will be indefinitely detained by the Obama administration because, well, even they are tired of his bullshit.
Whirly will achieve fame and fortune when he gets his own nationwide radio talk show, but success is short-lived when he cannot say “Fluke” without giggling.
JD will be named Chair of the Political Science department at the University of California at Berkeley.
CBJ7 will still be unable to understand anything posted here.
Doofie will meet a tragic end when he meets Mike Tyson and says, “Yeah, so what do YOU know about boxing?”
BigLouie will go into hiding when paparazzi pictures of him on a private beach show that in reality, he is “LittleLouie.”
LittleStevie, ironically, will rise to fame and fortune with Vivid Video when those same paparazzi pictures show him to be, in reality, VeryBigStevie. Fame is short-lived (another irony) when Ron Jeremy resorts to extreme measures to reclaim his “title.” Stevie changes his name to Stephanie.
TTH will take the blame for Fast and Furious in order to shield Eric Holder and preserve the integrity of the Democrat Party. Democrats will reward him by making him Ambassador to Iowa.
Randy4Candy will be sent to prison for offering to be a little too “randy” with an undercover officer, ironically named “Candy.”
Essence, tragically becomes a “man without a country” while on one of his money making, health care seeking trips to the United States when the entire United Kingdom packs up and moves, and don't tell him where they are going. Essence will be last seen explaining to a group of Patriot Guard why they needed to give up their “fucking Declaration of Independence.”
BigTurd will receive the “Medal of Freedom” from President Sarah Palin after shitting so much at her election, enough fertilizer was provided to allow Kansas, Nebraska and Iowa to produce record corn crops for three years running. After all the shit is expelled from BigTurd, he will rename himself “Tiny” and begin a successful career at FoxNews.
ChicaChaser will stage a coup and overthrow St. Christopher to become the new Emperor of Eccie. His satisfaction with the hobby dramatically increases.
Iffy, tragically, will be lost in space when he gets out of the Virgin spaceship to Mars against the recommendation of the stewardess, Ekim. The last communication from Iffy, “FUCkeeeeemmmmm . . .”
Joe Bloe. Four words. Chief Justice Joe Bloe.
And me? After a few minor indiscretions are, ahem, cleared up, I will be returned to my rightful position as Chairman of the Trilateral Commission, with my loving SO, SnL by my side.
And finally, when everything is said and done, this is really the answer to everything:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zLGWyfGk_LU
And thanks for everything! You guys are funny as hell!
