Thanks Babylon Bee.....
1 Reduced obesity in America by making food unaffordable: So simple.
2 Cleaned up all the cocaine bags someone was leaving around the White House: Decency restored!
3 Kept American hostages safe from junk fees during their stay with Hamas: Not one single junk fee!
4 Set all-time record for people illegally streaming into the U.S.: Because he's the most popular President ever. Numbers don't lie.
5 Raised dementia awareness by 400%: Also, sandbag awareness.
6 Created record numbers of new billionaires: They're all in Ukraine, but still.
7 Promoted transparency by releasing several "Behind-the-Scenes" videos from Capitol staffers: Campaign promise, delivered.
8 Saved democracy by arresting political opponents and not allowing people to vote for anyone else: Thanks, Joe!
9 Set new record by spending 40% of time on vacation: Finally giving Delaware Beach the attention it so richly deserves.
10 Heroically stayed alive to save America from a Kamala Harris Presidency: We salute you, Mr. Biden!