Perspectives on Hobbying

Sweet N Little's Avatar
From the national forums posted by Clouddancer (thought this may be helpful to some )

I made this post in the Dallas forum and it was suggested I post this in the National Discussion Forum.

Maybe I'm wrong, but it there seems to be more of the newbie hobbyists joining the scene and asking for advice. (This is a good thing) So, I thought I would offer this post.

I'm probably not as active as many of my brethren here but I have been around for a while, here on ECCIE and previously ASPD. We are fortunate here in Dallas to have so many wonderful ladies and I say this with all honesty, I've never had what I would call a horrible session. Yes, I've had some less than stellar sessions but in the past 7 or 8 years I have managed to meet some truly incredible ladies and enjoyed some mind-blowing experiences. Fortunately, I have yet to experience a true NCNS. How have I managed this? Well, here are a few rules I hobby by for what it's worth.

Donations:
First and foremost, never, ever haggle over the ladies rates. If there's a lady your just dying to meet, save you $ and pay her fee. If the price is too high, more research will find the right lady for you.

Screening:
This is an extremely important aspect of the hobby, not only for the lady but for the guys as well. This is for her safety but it may well be for yours too. Consider this, if she doesn't screen, what does that tell you about her. Everything may be legit, but on the other hand…….well, just read through some of the alerts. Those alerts where someone is ripped off, or worse, seem to have one thing in common - little or no screening.
Don't complain or get bitchy about her screening requirements. If you don't want to comply with her requirements, move on. Many of the ladies will work with you, unless, of course, you come off as telling them how to run their business. That’s a quick way onto the DNS list. This is why a service such as P411 so valuable. The money is very well spent. No, it's not easy getting started, but like anything in life, you have to pay your dues, so to speak. Having said that, there are some pretty incredible newbie friendly providers here and with a service such as P411 and a little research, it really shouldn't be that difficult to find a nice lady to get started.

If you use P411, use the features. Most importantly, fill out your profile. The ladies do want to please you. If you tell them about yourself and what you like, any good provider will try to accommodate you. Now this also depends on how you express yourself. Most importantly, be a gentleman.

Choosing a lady:
So you think you've found a lady you want to meet, great! Now do your research. If she posts, you can get an idea of her personality. Read her posts and if you don't like what she says or how she says it, do you really want to fork over some of your hard earned $ just because she's the hottest thing you've ever seen and all of her reviews say she's the lay of the century? You'll most likely be disappointed.
On the other hand, you just might connect, even before you meet.
In your research, find out about her. Enjoy her pics, but read, re-read and read again all of her information. Follow the directions for contacting her. Nearly all of the ladies make this info available, so do what she asks. Find out about her. What are her interests?

The appointment:
Once you've made the appointment, try to relax. Don't bombard her with emails, texts, phone calls, etc. A little contact is okay, but keep in mind she is running a business. In your research you should have learned such things as what kind of flowers she likes? If she likes tulips, bring her tulips, not roses. If she has listed chocolates as one of her likes, bring some. The point here is to show the lady you put a little effort into knowning her, pleasing her. It’s a perfect way to break the ice and start things off on the right foot.

When you get to her place, follow her instructions, and be discrete. Usually, you can expect a 2-call system. When she gives you her room or apt number, be careful about repeating it. I was on a trip in Denver once having breakfast in the hotel lobby. There was a guy standing about ten feet away from me who had something of a loud voice. This is what I overheard
"Hi Car***** it's L**** I'm in the lobby. 741, right, be right up. I'm ready to rock your world babe"
I literally choked. I had a pretty good idea what was going on and I would imagine so did everyone else that overheard him. Pay attention to what kind of attention you might be getting.
When you meet, treat her with respect. Be clean and presentable and if she offers a shower, it's probably best to thank her and jump in the shower, even if you just took one. Never know, she may just jump in with you. Also, don't let the transaction become a roadblock. It should be handled discretely and in accordance with her instructions. If you've done your research well, you should have very few surprises, except for maybe the good kind. Enjoy yourself, but respect her limits and her time.

Reviews:
In my opinion, reviews are valuable, but only to a certain degree. Some that read like a Penthouse forum, although entertaining, really don't tell me that much except the guy is the greatest fu*k in the world. Some of the guys will remember UsedCarSalesman. Great, funny reading, but useless reviews.
I never expect all the services one guy receives is going to necessarily be the same for me. Could be ymmv or heaven forbid, some may even exaggerate their encounters in their review. I would however, expect to receive her advertised services.

After the session and you wish to write a review. Start by reading the stickied thread in the review forum. The guidance is there. Be honest and factual, especially if it's sub-par review. It is entirely possible the reason for the sub-par performance is because she just didn't click with you, or you with her. It happens. There's no need for personal attacks and name-calling. The only thing that brings is drama. The review should be informative and reflect your overall experience.

Another comment about reviews:
There are times a lot of piling on starts and you might be tempted to jump on the bandwagon. Let me quote Ron White:

"Next time you have a thought, ............ let it go"

I am amazed at some of the replies to the reviews, especially the comments about the $. If you need clarification, that's fine, but to tell the world and most importantly the providers you wouldn't pay that much for a session is just foolish. You come across as cheap. Ever see an ad for cheap gentleman? I think generous gentleman is the usual phrase. Think what you like but its not always best to share your thoughts.

So now you've dipped your toe in the water, enjoyed your visit, written a review, what next?

Do it all over again!

But be careful. The first few times you'll know doubt cover all your tracks well. The more you participate the more likely it is to get too relaxed. Don't kid yourself into thinking you won't make mistakes. I just recently screwed up big time. I took a lovely lady to dinner at a nice upscale restaurant before our private activities. A couple of mornings later I realized I had kept the receipt (something I never do) and left it lying by the bathroom sink. Fortunately, it wasn't exactly in the open but I may still have some splainin to do. I got it covered if the SO asks but this is the kind of thing that can be catastrophic for some. There in lies the dilemma, is this really worth the trouble.

Perhaps one of our hobby brethren here can offer up a thread on techniques for protecting your ass. Its been covered before, just has the subject of this thread has, but it never hurts to put things in perspective.

Hobby safely and thanks for reading,
Clouddancer
self edit, double post
Excellent post! Very helpful. Thanks for reposting it here, SNL!

If I may, I'd like to add to this list--my personal pet peeve--improper handling of the envelope.

DO NOT hand the lady the envelope and say, "Here you go!"
DO NOT ask her to check it to see that the amount is correct...if you've done your homework, you should already be certain it is.
DO NOT whip out your wallet and say, "How much do I owe you?" Most of us will run right out of the room. I know I will!

Simply lie the envelope down on the dresser immediately after your arrival, nonchalantly...no mention of it ever needs to be made.
As I stated in the National Forum, this is a wonderful read for all newbies and a great reminder for the guys that have been around for awhile!!!
Shelby
OH YES..thats a great add Ginger Doll!!!! That happens to me all the time!
BabyDallass's Avatar
Very well said SNL!!!
Jack Hammer's Avatar
this is great advice. i am one of the newbies of which he speaks. and much like he said, i have solicited advice on how to proceed. as i have mentioned before, i have hobbied in the past many years ago.. and the climate of the hobby seems to have changed considerably. while i obviously realize the importance and the significance of screening - both ways - it goes without saying it makes getting started a little tricky for a newb.
Wow - sorry I didn't see this before I posted the exact same thread! (Two great minds, SNL?)

I will delete mine...

Thanks for posting Sweet!

Huck
SNL- This is perfect!!! Thank you for putting in the time to make this a great experience. This should be required reading b4 anyone enters the hobby
SNL- This is perfect!!! Thank you for putting in the time to make this a great experience. This should be required reading b4 anyone enters the hobby Originally Posted by kickboxer13
You're absolutely right KB! Unfortunately, most newbies and lurkers are more interested in looking at the showcases, rather than reading the posts. I'm guessing they never read the articles in Playboy either.

Sorry, my sarcasm is showing again.
Logan135's Avatar
I know when I found this site a couple months ago I read as much as I could to get a feel for the site and to get any info that might help me be more educated and cautious in how I conducted myself.......I learned a lot through reading, but alot of stuff, once you actually put yourself out there, is learn as you go lol. I did have one lady in particular that was very helpful......I followed all her advice.
I know when I found this site a couple months ago I read as much as I could to get a feel for the site and to get any info that might help me be more educated and cautious in how I conducted myself.......I learned a lot through reading, but alot of stuff, once you actually put yourself out there, is learn as you go lol. I did have one lady in particular that was very helpful......I followed all her advice. Originally Posted by Logan135
Good plan. You were fortunate to find counsel with a respected lady, without an agenda, and who knows the ropes.

Huck