Swinging Question(s)

Dorian Gray's Avatar
1st off I'd like to start by saying I'm pretty new to the swinging scene. No where near full immersion. But even I thought I knew at least the basic etiquette. So I just wanna check to make sure some of the various situations I've encountered AREN'T the norm.

Scenario #1. At a swingers club with a couple of ladies. Sitting in the dance area. Not the play areas. There's a couple sitting at the table behind me. My two companions are facing me so they can see the couple behind me. The couple non-verbally asked for one of the ladies to come to their table. She gets up & asked her second to follow. Since it's just a table away I can hear the conversation. The gist is the couple wanted to play with one of the ladies, maybe both. Under no circumstances did they want me to join in for X reason.

I'm not upset that I'm not their type. I was offended by two things.

1st was that they didn't introduce themselves to all of us. Previous times I've gone one group/couple will at least make the effort to greet everyone of the other group/couple. Then ask can we talk to just Y.

2nd. Even after the fact isn't it still polite to come up to the other person(s), & say "Hello, I'm H. Even though you're not our type I'm saying hello out of courtesy since your are with the other people we want to engage."

So was I just being overly sensitive as I'm still new or were they in fact being rude?
Ms. Athena's Avatar
Sorry that happened to you DG, butt some people have no manners. NO that is not the proper approach butt does it happen, Yes. I had a husband wait till my date and his wife went to the bathroom to run over and grope me and say how hot I was and I had never met him...........Prior to entering a club/party set up "rules" with your date. Many couples only want soft swap which is ONLY girls allowed to touch each other.....butt they still should not be rude/disrespectful to you and your dates.
Tylus_amore's Avatar
Oh wow,
That's not very nice!

People are not suppose to act that way.

Ms. A is right, And I don't think you were being over sensitive.

There are certain rules in play scenes its actually all communication and interacting before you agree play...

That sucks hopefully you have better experiences in the lifestyle. That used to happen to me all of the time until my S.O. Stopped the sex crazed males and letting them know they had to talk to both of us if they wanted to play. even if they didn't want him to join in. Same with the ladies that wanted him they have to ask both of us since we are there together...
I think that is rude whether it's at a swinger's club, bar, church, whatever.

Maybe you just need to look less mean, Dorian.
notanewbie's Avatar
yeah Dorian is an imposing figure..6' 8" ..all tatted up...has a dIaMoNd grill that says "fuc You" , scary mofo that Dorian is.
yeah Dorian is an imposing figure..6' 8" ..all tatted up...has a dIaMoNd grill that says "fuc You" , scary mofo that Dorian is. Originally Posted by notanewbie
It's the mean muggin'...
SofaKingFun's Avatar
Sorry 'bout that, Dorian.

Yes, nAn should have at least acknowledged you before trying to run off with your lady-friends. We've been trying to teach him some manners, but he doesn't take well to the bit. ...(and kinda' simple-minded).

nAn, apologize to Mr Gray and go sit in the car

We'll discuss this later, little mister. .


.

.

Dorian Gray's Avatar
If it has been NaN I would of been honored, & wrote a 3rd person review. He's a purty SOB.
SofaKingFun's Avatar
Mr Gray, please don't encourage him. It's comments like this that thwart our tireless efforts to bring about a behavioral change with this individual.

(even if he is a purdy mofo.)

And here I was thincking I was going to get the day off for a change. Thancks. Thancks a lot.

Welp, it's back to the laboratory to work on Nan, the lab-rat. Again...


.

.

GypsyHeart's Avatar
I have been a swinger for over 7 years and I have seen and been a part of just what you are describing, and more! They probably felt that since they weren't facing you, they didn't have to address you. Rude and shitty, I know. If they knew that all three of you were together, then IF they were decent people, they should have come over. Either way, look at it that you didn't have to deal with douche bags! Their loss, not yours.
April_Showers's Avatar
They should've came over to the table and introduced themselves to everyone in the party. Then they could've waited a few minutes and asked nicely if the person(s) they wanted to interact with could play. I think they were new/inexperienced and probably nervous or intimidated (DG; sitting with two hotties!)

Whatever the case; yes I think it was rude but hope this doesn't turn you off to the scene. Just like any place; there are going to be different types of people and different things that happen. Don't let this keep you from exploring and enjoying these places.
yeah Dorian is an imposing figure..6' 8" ..all tatted up...has a dIaMoNd grill that says "fuc You" , scary mofo that Dorian is. Originally Posted by notanewbie
That was rude of them for sure, but to ad to the above, that third leg he walks around with can be intimidating...ijs
That was rude of them for sure, but to ad to the above, that third leg he walks around with can be intimidating...ijs Originally Posted by YummyMarie
DG, don't sit around naked. They probably did try to introduce themselves and tripped over The Hulk on the way....
Not having any experience at a Swinger's Club I can't know if that was rude or not. The consensus seems to be that it was.

Wasn't it also rude of your friends to leave you alone at the table? I think I'd be more offended by them than the strangers.

Just my take.
willdooit's Avatar
Sorry D.G. for not introducing myself to your hole group