If you had a parrot in your bedroom...

...what would it say at the worst possible moment? (Like in the old joke when the mother-in-law or the pastor has come by for tea.)

Mine would probably mumble, "dammit, where's the kleenex?"

My would say what again I just gave you some three mouths ago are you a pervert and think you should have pussy every other mouth.

If I had a parrot in my bedroom...at the worst possible moment


"Where's the lube"

"Damn, ran out of batteries again"

"This sucks"!

"Shoot I broke it"

When I am having ex with my wife, a parrot in my bedroom would say........"Hello, is anyone there? Are you alive?"....because that is what I have said numerous times, as my wife is a "dead fish" in bed, no movement, no noises, nothing!

Bigdog here is a trick I do on the occasions she does cut lose with it, take a small safety pin to bed with you and poke her in the butt when your ready for a little movement and a moan from her it works every time.
Just tell her something pokes you sometime's but you can't find no loose springs in the bed and not sure what it was that poked her.

LMAO about the safety pin! I hear the dead fish stories from time to time and just cannot imagine holding still or being quiet while doing the deed.

My parrot would probably say something totally inappropriate like "HARDER, don't stop!" Or, "OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD!"

Sometimes I worry that the neighbors must REALLY be irritated with me.

As a side note, when I was a kid a friend of mine had a parrot that lived with a gay couple before they got it and OH BOY the things that bird would say! And the tone of voice it used sometimes was priceless.

Mine wouldn't say anything it would fall asleep from boredom.

You'd have to ask my wife. I suspect I'm rarely there for the good stuff. Think I'm going to go buy a parrot, now that you mention it.

Who needs a parrot when you can f*ck it up by yourself?

For ex. (true story)

Chick: Wow, you are such a good kisser
Me: (Trying to be funny but chick did not know) Yes I know, my mom says that too
Chick: WTF???
Me: (sweating profusely) well....ummm...because she has seen me kiss a lot of chicks

Actually, I think a parrot could have been an excelent wingman to help me out of that debacle, haha!

I would barbecue it over a collection of melting Jimmy Buffet CD's and records. Parrots. The other white meat.

Mine wouldn't say anything it would fall asleep from boredom. Originally Posted by CoHorn

CoHorn, your parrot would say "wanna lick?"

my parrot would say things like

"ya you were great"

"oh yes i really did orgasm"

"just lay the money over there"

"sure

you can stick it in my ass"

"cum wherever you want"

"no no, that really is average size"

"i love doggie"

"suck my dick baby"

"no its ok, i like alot of hair down there"


my parrot could say all sorts of shit

"lets do doggie"
"can you help me with that virator while i use the other in my other spot?"
"Can i use the Strap on"
"where's the lube"

"NEXT!"


I am so kidding.