A lotta y'all seem ta be innerested in who Ah yam. Well, here's a cell phone pic o' meh at tha Ann'nyal Senate Crissmuss Par-Tay!
So, frum the Lootin'ent Guv'nor O' the Great State o' Tejas, lemme wish a Felix Navi-doo-dah-day and a Prospecto Anus Neuvo, Ta All Y'all Buckaroos and Poke Salad Annies!
Unless Y'all's one o' them Crissmuss haters thet git pissed off at Merry Crissmuss an' insis' on Happy Holidays, Happy Hannukah, Happy Kwanzaa or sum uther Un'Murrican bullshee'yit! Fer all y'all, this iz whut Ah got:
But fer all yew true blue 'Murrican Crissmuss luvvers, feast yer eyes on this. Thet thar's one HOT tamale Ah'd like to shuck tha hell outta: