For future reference

I didn't know how to handle this situation, so I'd be curious what both sides think I should have done. Read on:

I had set an incall appointment with a lovely young lady for time shortly after I got off work. Right as I was pulling out of the driveway to go meet her, I got a phone call that a family member had been hospitalized and they weren't sure if she'd ever be the same again. This is someone I had just seen a couple of days prior. Needless to say, I was a little shellshocked.

However, there was nothing I could do for her, and was more or less told not to drive to their city until they could give me more news.

When I ended my call, I was left with a choice. Given the time, her expense for the room, and the fact I'd not seen this highly respected provider before, I decided to go ahead with my appointment even though my heart wasn't in it. The provider was great and tried really hard, but given the circumstances it was an uphill battle she had no chance to win(we found other ways to have fun, but still).

So I guess my question is how bad would it have looked to cancel last minute? I don't know if I do this enough to have a "rep" yet, but I definitely wouldn't want to be blackballed.

I think you handled it perfectly. You were still able to make the visit and honor her situation as a business person who had already laid out some expenses and time for you.

Don't know what you did together.....but I think a lot of ladies would have been willing to just sit and talk with you in that case.....and the better ones would have offered a discount as a result.

I think you went beyond the call of duty here.

Perhaps, due to the circumstances, an offer of some part of the fee on your behalf would have been very considerate and accepted with no repercussions on your "rep".

But even if you didn't offer anything and cancelled, you simply cannot be faulted. It would be the same with any professional appointment you might have had where you were not required to put down a deposit. As tough as it would be on the provider it just simply could not be helped. Unfortunately that is part of their cost of doing business. It would be the same if you had booked a room but something prevented the meeting from happening and you were then stuck with that expense.

And all in all, if something was posted somewhere about your "rep", I think you certainly have enough of a history on here to refer anyone to so they can see how legit you are.

YMMV.. for the sake of the provider, you did the right thing. A lot of ladies wouldn't take too kindly of a last minute cancellation. BUT at the same time.. it's a shame you had to go into a session knowing your mind was somewhere else and couldn't fully enjoy the experience like you really wanted too.
It really depends on the lady. Personally, I would've suggested a different time to begin with because I prefer it to be an experience that both would enjoy ( I have a major complex about my partner not being 100% satisfied at the end tho LOL ) but if you wanted to move forward and it turned out the way it did... definitely a make up session. Sometimes RL stuff happens, and there's really not much you can do about it.
If it were me yeah it would've sucked not being able to make the appointment but I would've totally understand if you had other things going on too... but it really is YMMV

Things come up...its called "life." ;-)

I would be put-off if someone did that to me at the last minute. However, it doesn't mean I would take it to the extreme of blacklisting that person. I have a three strikes rule on scheduling with me. (sometimes less) If something "comes up" at the last minute on more than one occasion, you can bet I won't reschedule. Like Kay said, YMMV. Everyone in this lifestyle operates differently.

Yeeeah Laynes right... if it is a repetitive problem where something ALWAYS comes up and it's always one excuse after another after another... I still wouldn't blacklist a person...
I would just tell them I wont be able to make time in my schedule to see them anymore. And if it's someone I have seen before I would tell them they can use me as a reference and just let the girl that contacts me in the future quietly know the situation...
I think sometimes the power of the blacklist gets abused for situations that its uncalled for.. I try to save that for serious situations rape/rob/shorts pay/unsafe practices.. something that may compromise the safety and discretion of ladies in the future....
But if you're an established hobbyist and have good standing with reputable providers and something like the OPs situation happens, I wouldn't go as far as blacklisting or personal bashing.. bc sometimes life happens and if the shoe was on the other foot I wouldn't want that done to me..

I think you chose the right course of action. The only other thing you could have done, since you were so gracious to show up in person, was to explain the situation and see what the provider would have suggested she felt most comfortable with. If she wanted to complete the session I would have been the same that you were with my attention elsewhere.

If a provider would have had something like this happen and I would have had expenses I would have gladly accepted payment for my expenses and rescheduled, no harm, no foul.

Thanks for all the feedback. I do appreciate it.

And CS123, you're right, I probably should have said something to her (to verify, I never once brought this matter up during the session) and just seen how things played out. However a) it's a lot easier to have that conversation when I'm not staring at a beautiful, half naked woman, and b) when I meet with people for the first time, I usually try to keep things as generic as possible until I know we click.

I've always been a good listener, but I'm not really one to open up about certain things, family being one of them. In this case maybe I should have. But I'd rather have it work out the way it did (I felt better after seeing her) than to bring someone else down.

VandA, I think you handled the situation well. Must have been tough, but you did the stand up thing. Good on ya brother.

you did great babe! family emergencies happen to us all!

you could have also sent her some compensation if you could not have done the appt.

I had a guy cancel on me last minute in Iowa...he then sent me the session donation the next day via ....therefore he has good standing in my eyes and will get a generous discount when we do meet!

...to begin with because I prefer it to be an experience that both would enjoy ( I have a major complex about my partner not being 100% satisfied at the end tho LOL ) Originally Posted by Kay2Day

Gotta LOVE Kay!
Brains, Beauty, and the purrfect Attitude
(a new acronym...BBA)

Sounds like you did just fine and were a gentleman about the situation. Cheers!