Advice from the community/No good deed goes unpunished

I contacted a respected and highly reviewed provider in early April based on her incall location, reviews, described activities, and tits. 1) We set a date and time for the next day 2) On that day she called to explain that she had to drive to the bank, then to Oak Grove to pick up her taxes from her accountant and would have to reschedule. Also, she was expecting a new roommate from Springfield in two days and would no longer be entertaining in her home. I suggested we could meet, I'd "front" her 200 bucks, she could make it to Oak Grove, and we could get together the next day prior to the arrival of her new roommate. She seemed very reasonable, appreciative, and trustworthy. I thought this would be a win win! The next day she contacted me to explain that she could not make her commitment because her roommate arrived a day early and I would have to get a room. I explained that was unacceptable (now a much more expensive date) and she needed to get the room. She explained that when she received her refund she would get a room or give me my money back. Needless to say, she is now incommunicado. No reply to PM, text, or phone call. In anticipation of my visit she gave me her address. How should I handle this? Do I make her name public in the ECCIE community, Do I show up on her doorstep? Do I just chalk it up as a 200 dollar lesson learned? Thanks for the advice!

How long ago did this happen?


Yes, you should make her name known.

No, you shouldn't show up on her doorstep. You don't know who she lives with.

You'll never get the money back, so yes, chalk it up as a hard lesson learned.

How long ago did this happen?


Yes, you should make her name known.

No, you shouldn't show up on her doorstep. You don't know who she lives with.

You'll never get the money back, so yes, chalk it up as a hard lesson learned. Originally Posted by MsElena

Don't waste your time, like Elena said lesson learned.

I concur with Ms Elena, good advice.

We all have stories like this but it's still hard to read. You were trying to be nice but I suspect your motor was in overdrive and you let your little head make the decision. Let us know who it is so we can be careful however this doesn't mean you never help anyone again. These ladies have families and issues sometimes come up but I have never been left hanging when helping one of my regulars.

One of my fav ladies, a "regular", reached out to me for help last fall, with little hesitation, I helped her with far more than what Sporty just lost; terms of repayment were discussed/agreed upon. She has been totally incommunicado, no PM, text, e-mail or phone call response ever since.

I know where she lives but would never post on her doorstep unannounced/un-invited; I would forget about the 2 hunno's and move-on; if you identify her, would be for the good of the rest of the community/maybe prevent another from the same fate but be ready for her to respond.....with a different version of the story.

In my experience, when you "front" a provider any sum of money its best just to consider it a gift. I have adopted the position that, unless I am inclined to give a gift, I must see a provider for date before any money or help. Think any of them would "front" you a date with the promise that you would settle up when your tax refund came in or when you got paid? Don't think so.

I would like to know the provider you are referring to as well.

Uh... I don't have a story where I gave a female money days before an appt. What do you think will happen? I may do it with a lady I have seen several times, but someone I've never met... not a chance in hell.

Secondly, never just show up at her door. You just can't do that as much as it hurts to take the 200 dollar loss, you really have no one to blame but yourself in that department so consider it a gift and move on.

Give her time to make it right, and when she doesn't post the information down to the detail. Post it in co'ed and in the men's lounge. If the information is out there fellas will remember it and reference back to it.

Fellas... if you haven't met a lady before, don't give her money in advance. That doesn't seem like a smart decision at all for either head. However, there are certain ladies, if I had the funds available, I would lend it to them or front them some cash. The list is extremely short though and I don't intend to expand it any time soon.

Sorry that happened to you, but if its been a month as has been suggested you need to let everyone know what is going on.

I once had a provider miss an appointment because she had a car accident on her way to where we were to meet. She was upset and crying so I went to where she was and gave her the donation to help here out. A month later she called and met up with me and didn't take an additional dime. There are some good ones out the, but I agree that if she didn't get back, I would have marked it off as a gift.

He said it happened in early April, so she's had time to make it right. If she's ignoring you, I doubt you'll ever see her or your money again.
I think MsElena has the best answer so far.

I agree with the ladies so far. If it was in April you have waited long enough for a resolution. I think the ladies name should be posted in a location she can respond to though.

Definitely dont go to visit her though. You likely will never get anything out of her, but you likely will help other guys in the future.

I'll have to agree with Intense on this one, whenever a lady asks for help in a monetary sense I have quickly learned that I shouldn't expect anything in return. Which is why I usually don't give money out anymore even if it's to help a lady out. Now if you need services as in moving or getting somewhere I'll be there in a jiff but don't expect me to help you out financially, that's your deal.

Sporty, sorry for your disapappointment. I'll let it go and wouldn't out her either. You did offer the money right........who knows she may surprise you yet.



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I have to disagree with growler. Going dark instead of explaining/making excuses is a bad sign. It also doesnt matter who brought up the money since she apparently agreed to it. Yes it was a poor decision to pay in advance, but it was agreed upon and money exchanged hands.

I really do think it should be posted in the coed forum. It gives her a chance to explain if she feels the need too.