Driving in dallas

I found this ad in Cl and like to share it with u. I didn't have any idea about information is true or not.
Enjoy!
First you must learn to pronounce the city name. It is DAL-LUS, or DAA-LIS depending on if you live inside or outside LBJ Freeway.

Next, if your Mapsco is more than a few weeks old, throw it out and buy a new one. If in Collin County and your Mapsco is one day old, then it is already obsolete.

Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere, Dallas has its own version of traffic rules: "Hold on and pray".

There is no such thing as a dangerous high-speed chase in Dallas. We all drive like that.

All directions start with, "Get on Beltline"...which has no beginning and no end. (IT REALLY DOESN'T!!!)

The morning rush hour is from 6 to 10. The evening rush hour is from 3 to 7. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning.

If you actually stop at a yellow light, you may be rear-ended, cussed out and possibly shot.

At traffic signals, if you are the first one on the starting line, count to five when the light turns green before going, to avoid crashing with all the drivers running the red light through cross-traffic.

Construction on Central Expressway is a way of life and a permanent form of entertainment. We had so much fun with that we have added George Bush Freeway and the High Five to the mix.

If you suddenly find yourself in an area of town where the traffic is running smoothly and without stoppage, no road construction stretching for 10 miles or traffic accidents every 2 miles, turn around and head east, you're in Fort Worth!

If someone actually has their turn signal on, it is probably a factory defect, or they are from Ft Worth.

Car horns are actually "Road Rage" indicators, and remember, it's legal to be armed in Texas.

All blue-haired old ladies driving Lincoln Town Cars always have the right of way, period. And remember, it's legal to be armed in Texas.

The North Dallas Toll-way is our daily version of NASCAR.

LBJ Freeway is called "The Death Trap" for two reasons: "death" and "trap."

The wrought iron bars on windows in Oak Cliff and Fair Park are NOT ornamental!!

Inwood Road, Plano Road, NW Highway, East Grand, Garland Road, Marsh Lane, Josey Lane, 15th Street, and Preston Road, all mysteriously change names as you cross intersections (these are only a FEW examples). The perfect example is what is MOSTLY known as Plano Road. On the south end it is known as Lake Highlands Drive, cross Northwest Highway and it becomes Plano Road, go about 8 miles and it is briefly Greenville Ave, Ave K, and Highway 5. It ends in Sherman.

If asking directions in Irving or southeast Dallas, you must be fluent in Spanish. If you are in central Richardson or on Harry Hines Blvd., Mandarin Chinese will be your best bet. If you stop to ask directions on Gaston or Live Oak, you better be armed (and remember, it's legal to be armed in Texas).

A trip across town (east to west) will take a minimum of four hours, although many north/south freeways have un-posted minimum speeds of 75. The minimum acceptable speed on the Dallas North Toll Road is 85. Anything less is considered downright sissy.

It is possible to be driving WEST in the NORTH-bound lane of EAST NORTHWEST Highway. Don't let this confuse you.

If it's 100 degrees, Thanksgiving must be next weekend. If it's 10 degrees and sleeting/snowing/raining, the Fort Worth Stock Show is going on. If it's rained 6 inches in the last hour, and it is springtime, the Byron Nelson Golf Classic is in the second round. If it is autumn, then the state fair is in full swing.

If you go to the Texas State Fair, pay the $8.00 to park INSIDE Fair Park. Parking elsewhere could cost up to $2,500 for damages, towing fees, parking tickets, etc. If some guy with a flag tries to get you to park in his yard, ignore him.

All amusement parks, stadiums, arenas, race tracks, airports, etc., are conveniently located as far away from EVERYTHING as possible so as to allow for ample parking on grassy areas.

Final Warning: Don't Mess With Texas Drivers. Remember, it's legal to be armed in Texas.
Location: LOL!
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

source: CL ad at Causal Encounter.

Funny because most of it is true, but I would like to point out a few important facts:
1. Dear Yankees, we don't give a d*mn how you did it back east. In fact if y'all would go back home we wouldn't have any traffic problems.
2. Get off the effing phone and drive!
3. The right hand lane is the merge lane and for SLOW moving traffic, the middle lane or lanes is the travel lane and the left hand lane is called the PASSING lane, not the "I like this lane because it is open and I am doing the speed limit so I don't know why this guy is tailgating me."' lane.
4. Webb Chapel is also Webb's Chapel, check the signs, even the city doesn't know.
5. Ok, start out at the corner of Arapaho and Preston, going south on Preston, it turns into Oak Lawn, which splits into Oak Lawn and Blackburn, follow Blackburn and it turns into Haskell, Haskell splits into East Grand and Military Pkwy., follow East Grand and it turns into Garland Rd., which turns into S. Garland Ave. which by the way has you now traveling north, no you haven't made any turns, next it becomes N. Garland Ave. which turns into Arapaho, keep going on Arapaho and you are back where you started. What could be easier?
6. Most importantly, AT LEAST IT IS NOT HOUSTON TRAFFIC!!!

The writer of this obviously has not been in Tarrant County lately.

Airport Freeway construction and Grapevine Funnel make construction in Dallas look tame. (OK, perhaps there is a light at the end of the tunnel on the Grapevine Funnel.)

Try to drive 5 blocks in any direction in downtown Fort Worth without hitting construction. (Or a dang Christmas Tree blocking a seldom used road called MAIN Street. And, NO, I AM NOT A SCROOGE!)

Try 3rd Street downtown Fort Worth. At one point, there were signs saying RIGHT LANE CLOSED, followed by a sign saying LEFT 2 LANES CLOSED. The dang road is only 2 lanes wide to begin with, and they closed 3 lanes but expected to route traffic through it.

Then there was Houston Street. First sign said RIGHT 2 LANES CLOSED, and one block later, LEFT 2 LANES CLOSED. Try negotiating that and figuring out what lane to be in to avoid turning on 3rd Street and dealing with that disaster.

Finally, to take a seldom used route, eastbound Weatherford Street to southbound I-35W, the current detour requires you to follow the signs to northbound I-35W, and then to make a couple of sharp left turns that dump you onto a southbound entrance ramp that crosses path with the northbound I-35W exit at Pharr Street. The only reason we don't have dozens of wrong way drivers on the interstate is because the traffic is so heavy they can never make it onto the highway. That may be because some of these drivers have been making a circuit trying to find a way to get on the highway in the right direction for months, only stopping for gas and fast food along the way.

Oh, and just in case you missed it, this morning's Star Telegram has a front page article urging drivers to avoid taking I-35 altogether because of the construction between here and Austin.

I know mmcqt has the touched a few pointers but forgot a few
1 first learn to merge if freeway is moving at 60 do not try to merge at 35 and then step on the right pedal(gas for the ones that do not know)or best yet stop and wait for someone to yeild to you
2 If your driving down freeway and miss exit it is not alright to stop and try to back up if you paid attention you would've seen you have pass other exits and others will be ahead that you can turn around at this goes for all major roads
3 If your trailer lights actually work or use a turn signal to tell fellow drivers and or pedestrians of your intent you know your not a true texan
4 It is a LAW not to drive in left lane it is for Passing only otherwise stay to right it is not for sight seeing
5 In the unfortunate instance I do have a accident I carry a 1m Umbrella and high 250/500/250 limits because to many Texans have minimum or just plain wont get any and think its more important to get fridays suitcase of beer forget it and get it figured Id add Insurance is mandatory

I know theres more just goto go though

It's also Texas State law to hang a horse thief.


Using your blinker is sign of weakness in Dallas.

The blinker should be considered a warning shot, I'm moving over now get outta the effing way.

Thanks guys for your comments. They are so helpful for me.

I have a question that i don't like to begin a new thread for.
When i use GPS in Dallas, it is not accurate. When it says you reach your destination, I find that i passed the destination or the destination is still some feet ahead.
It is inaccurate like 100-300 feet before or after the destination. I asked guys in a bar and they said they have the some problems even though they use different brands.
I use Garmin nüvi® 265WT and it's accurate 100% in another states.

These statements are so so true. SAD BUT TRUE...

The Bitch (GPS after it has to "recalculate" 17 times), is accurate about 10% of the time. Of course mine is 5 years out of date and there is always construction in Dallas. You learn how to cope with her. She is just there to "help" not to lead.... at least in Texas.




And haha on the warning shot. I shit you not, this lady was in the fast lane of a 4 lane freeway and turned her blinker on. It flashed twice and she swerved all across traffic to the exit. I could hear her thoughts... Oh that's my exit, good luck all you other people.