Canceling last minute etiquette

I work a job where I am on call for emergency situations. So what is proper etiquette for canceling. I ask because I have been enroute to see a provider and the phone rings and I have to head to work. I know this is hard for some providers to swallow, but what is the accepted practice in the hobby
kerwil62's Avatar
Is there really an accepted practice for cancelling at the last minute?

Just calling her and letting her know is the only practice. Whether she understands or not isn't on you, but just hope she does if you want to see her next time.

Providers do it all the time. And sometimes they won't let you know why. ESPECIALLY if you're not a regular.
tbone77494's Avatar
Some dudes pay them anyway if less than about an hour so they don't get blacklisted. Other than that they will likely put you on their no list. If it were me I would let them know it is a possibility and tell them that if it happens with less than an hour notice you'll pay anyway but would hope they give you credit, something like adding time to a subsequent session. Only for someone I want to be a regular.
jbravo_123's Avatar
Yeah given your particular situation, you should probably let providers know ahead of time of the possibility of cancellation on short notice so at least they're aware and hopefully won't be as pissed when it happens.
I would own up to inconveniencing the provider in a form other than just words. While being very polite does always earn brownie points, it doesn't erase the inconvenience.

If the shoe were on the other foot, and the provider was the one canceling last minute, she would be expected to make up for canceling with such little notice; and if it happened on a regular basis, eventually canceling would catch up to her. Life happens to all of us. Canceling sucks, no matter how much notice is given. May it be a provider expecting the money or moving things around in her personal life to fit you in, or may it be a client who has blocked out a window of time which for some is very hard to do.

Giving as much notice as you are able is always appreciated.

If I were you, I would go one step further to keep myself off any potential DNS lists.... DNS lists for providers you are really eager to see, but also other providers too. Providers talk here on Eccie in the provider only areas as well as on other info sharing sites where providers discuss the clients who pissed them off, even in the smallest way.

I haven't had any cancellations, but I do think I would remember if a person cancelled on me, especially if last minute, and down the road I might be less inclined to bend over backwards at being available at the time best for the client. If I had two clients wanting to schedule the same time, I would probably go with the one most likely follow through. If I had several people calling, texting, emailing me, my first instinct would be to respond to those who have always followed through, and then I would get around to responding to those known for canceling. Priorities would be in favor of those who either follow through, or at least own up to inconveniencing me in a form other than just words.

I would recommend offering to pay a cancellation fee. Something like……

I am sorry to do this, but I can't make our date this afternoon/evening/tomorrow. If I have inconvenienced you, I would like to give you an additional $$ next time I see you, if you are willing to reschedule our date.

The provider may take you up on your $ offer, which is great, you always want to be on good terms. Or she may decline your $ offer.

Either way, I would always offer something to the person I am inconveniencing, or ask them what you can do to eliminate any harsh feelings. Just know by asking what you can do to make it right, you might not like the answer, and this is definitely not the time to negotiate. Only ask if you think you will be able to fulfill her request.

Oh, and the reason behind canceling, whether it's the truth or if you have put a lot of thought into making it up.... I wouldn't go there. The reason isn't going to change the outcome by much. The person hearing the reason may think it sounds bogus anyway. Cut to the chase: I can't make it, where do we go from here.
  • RoxyG
  • 06-26-2013, 10:15 AM
Yeah given your particular situation, you should probably let providers know ahead of time of the possibility of cancellation on short notice so at least they're aware and hopefully won't be as pissed when it happens. Originally Posted by jbravo_123
I agree! Let them know ahead of time just incase. You had to cancel on me once , and that was fine because you had told me during our first meeting about your job situation. Maybe it helped since we had previously met and I knew what a gentleman you were. Some will be more understanding than others.
I'm in the same situation, makes it tough to play sometimes.
Fancyinheels's Avatar
Excellent advice, here. ABSOLUTELY let the provider know up front that a last-minute cancellation due to your work is a possibility. (I differ from PS on one point; I personally would want to know WHY you were cancelling with little warning.) If you had to cancel with less than one to 2 hours' notice, it would be proper to pay some sort of fee. Keep in mind that the provider will totally lose that income and may have turned others away for that time period, and won't be able to make it up. (It would be helpful if Houston had left the "Incall Short Notice/Cancellation" thread going, but oh, well. We are one of few major cities that DON'T have one, pout.) Yes, coming to some sort of arrangement keeps you from being "blacklisted," but it's just plain fair -- I know my doctor, plumber, and electrician charge cancellation fees when appointments for their services are called off last minute, and those get charged to my credit card.

Saying you'll "make it up on the next visit" wouldn't go over well UNLESS the companion had entertained you before. Like PS said, I'd be far less inclined to see you in the future if I had another offer.

A lot does depend on whether the lady you've cancelled on is one you've visited with previously, as likely she'll be more understanding. I have had kind, know-the-program gentlemen send me Visa gift cards for $100 to make up for last minute cancellations. I don't expect the full cost of the session, but one lovely fellow recently did drop by to give me the full amount after he had cancelled. A true gentleman.

Agreed.






Excellent advice, here. ABSOLUTELY let the provider know up front that a last-minute cancellation due to your work is a possibility. (I differ from PS on one point; I personally would want to know WHY you were cancelling with little warning.) If you had to cancel with less than one to 2 hours' notice, it would be proper to pay some sort of fee. Keep in mind that the provider will totally lose that income and may have turned others away for that time period, and won't be able to make it up. (It would be helpful if Houston had left the "Incall Short Notice/Cancellation" thread going, but oh, well. We are one of few major cities that DON'T have one, pout.) Yes, coming to some sort of arrangement keeps you from being "blacklisted," but it's just plain fair -- I know my doctor, plumber, and electrician charge cancellation fees when appointments for their services are called off last minute, and those get charged to my credit card.

Saying you'll "make it up on the next visit" wouldn't go over well UNLESS the companion had entertained you before. Like PS said, I'd be far less inclined to see you if I had another offer.

A lot does depend on whether the lady you've cancelled on is one you've visited with previously, as likely she'll be more understanding. I have had kind, know-the-program gentlemen send me Visa gift cards for $100 to make up for last minute cancellations. I don't expect the full cost of the session, but one lovely fellow recently did drop by to give me the full amount after he had cancelled. A true gentleman.
Originally Posted by Fancyinheels
Fancyinheels's Avatar
Is there really an accepted practice for cancelling at the last minute?

Just calling her and letting her know is the only practice. Whether she understands or not isn't on you, but just hope she does if you want to see her next time.

Providers do it all the time. And sometimes they won't let you know why. ESPECIALLY if you're not a regular. Originally Posted by kerwil62

By the way, the only time I've cancelled on someone last-minute, I had been in a bad car accident on the road to visit him. I still called the gentlemen (someone I had not met before) from the ambulance on the way to the hospital (bleeding over my phone), so I have NO tolerance for ladies who NSNC or who call/pm after the gent is already on his way over to say they can't see him but don't have a valid reason why.
jbravo_123's Avatar

By the way, the only time I've cancelled on someone last-minute, I had been in a bad car accident on the road to visit him. I still called the gentlemen (someone I had not met before) from the ambulance on the way to the hospital (bleeding over my phone), so I have NO tolerance for ladies who NSNC or who call/pm after the gent is already on his way over to say they can't see him but don't have a valid reason why.
Originally Posted by Fancyinheels
That's hardcore! (and I'm sure very appreciated by your client)
Excellent advice, here. ABSOLUTELY let the provider know up front that a last-minute cancellation due to your work is a possibility. (I differ from PS on one point; I personally would want to know WHY you were cancelling with little warning.) If you had to cancel with less than one to 2 hours' notice, it would be proper to pay some sort of fee. Keep in mind that the provider will totally lose that income and may have turned others away for that time period, and won't be able to make it up. (It would be helpful if Houston had left the "Incall Short Notice/Cancellation" thread going, but oh, well. We are one of few major cities that DON'T have one, pout.) Yes, coming to some sort of arrangement keeps you from being "blacklisted," but it's just plain fair -- I know my doctor, plumber, and electrician charge cancellation fees when appointments for their services are called off last minute, and those get charged to my credit card.

Saying you'll "make it up on the next visit" wouldn't go over well UNLESS the companion had entertained you before. Like PS said, I'd be far less inclined to see you in the future if I had another offer.

A lot does depend on whether the lady you've cancelled on is one you've visited with previously, as likely she'll be more understanding. I have had kind, know-the-program gentlemen send me Visa gift cards for $100 to make up for last minute cancellations. I don't expect the full cost of the session, but one lovely fellow recently did drop by to give me the full amount after he had cancelled. A true gentleman.

Originally Posted by Fancyinheels
Considering cancellations happens on both sides I am not sure paying a penalty is necessary. Yes I know cancellation hurts the provider more but still.

I think you should let whoever you want to see know upfront what might happen but but but don't be upset if she double books and cancels on you
Wakeup's Avatar
Some dudes pay them anyway if less than about an hour so they don't get blacklisted. Originally Posted by tbone77494
Wait...did I read that horseshit right?
Fancyinheels's Avatar
Considering cancellations happens on both sides I am not sure paying a penalty is necessary. Yes I know cancellation hurts the provider more but still.....
Originally Posted by Thatdude
It isn't a penalty, darling, but a cancellation fee like MANY other service-related businesses (as I stated) embrace. (Heck, I have my quarterly exam and blood tests tomorrow, and the doc's office called a little while ago to remind me and make it crystal clear that should I fail to cancel 2 hours in advance, I get charged the full amount anyway. Same with the hotel I booked on my recent Austin trip if I didn't check-in or cancel by 6 p.m.) However, we all know that such a fee is really noncollectable for escorts. (What am I going to do? Send out the chihuahuas with tiny little brass knuckles?) I have fumed about being all dressed down and no one to do, but never asked for anything because it was impractical. The few gentlemen who felt it necessary to send me something in make-up did so voluntarily, and because they had to cancel with little notice.

Still, why would a provider asking a last-minute cancellation fee be surprising considering it's standard practice in the service industry world? She offers a service based on advance appointments.

Now, sort of along the same lines of collecting money for service not yet rendered, if someone I don't know and with less than impeccable references reserves a weekend with me or a trip, I do take deposits in advance, especially if I have to put out money for travel arrangements. Seems sensible considering the
threat of cancellation and how much planning and prep I have to do.