A Gentleman walks into a bar...

A woman looked at my beer belly last night in the bar and sarcastically said, "Is that Corona or Budweiser?"

I said, "There's a tap underneath, taste it."

***

I was talking to a girl in the bar last night. She said, "If you lost a few kilos, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right."

I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your pretty friends over there."

***

I went to the bar last night and saw a fat chick dancing on a table. I said to her, "Nice legs."

The girl giggled and said with a smile, "Do you really think so."

I said "Definitely, most tables would have collapsed by now."

***

I was telling a girl in the bar about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling their tits.

"Really" she said, "Go on then, try."

After about 30 seconds of fondling she began to lose patience.

"Come on, what day was I born"?

I said, “Yesterday."

***

funny funny

those were good ones lol

Good ones Gman, thanks

Two men walk into a bar, one wearing a cowboy hat and the other wearing a baseball cap. The guy in the baseball cap approaches the bartender and make a bet: "I'll bet you $1,000 that I can put a shot glass at one end of your bar and piss into it from the other end of the bar without spilling a drop."The bartender laughs and says, "You're crazy, but you're on."
The man positions a shot glass on one end, walks to the other end and unzips his fly. He then pisses everywhere -- all over the walls, over the bar top, all over the bottles of booze, and all over the bartender. The bartender roars with laughter and tells the man to pay up.
The guy in the baseball cap pays up, laughing and smiling, too.
"What are you smiling at?" asks the bartender. "You just lost $1,000!"
"Well, you see that guy in the cowboy hat over there crying? Before we came in, I bet him $10,000 that I could piss all over your bar, your walls, your liquor AND you, and not only would you not be mad -- you would laugh hysterically about it!"

Very good S&L

So naughty! LOL!

A thirsty man walks around town until he finds a bar. He walks into it.

Ouch.

It was an iron bar.