STUPID AND FUNNY from both sides of the fence!

Providers and Hobbyist alike... what the funniest thing that’s ever happened during a session? Also, describe the stupidest thing a Hobbyist or Provider has ever done during a session! How about we have fun with this one!?

You know you’re a stupid provider / hobbyist when you.......

You know you’re a stupid provider / hobbyist when you.......


..... eat Mexican food the night before an 8 hour appointment the next day .....

I really don't think anyone can top that lol

I've got a couple...

You know you are a stressed out provider when you forget or lose the covers right when you need them the most.

You know you are a stupid hobbyist when you don't bring your own covers in case the provider doesn't have any.

You know you are stupid provider when a you are about to go down on a hobbyist's un-covered cock (and I'm not talking oral). Be thankful the hobbyist actually cares about your (and his) health and stops to cover up.

When you do not use every damn locking device and door sign available to keep housekeeping from barging in during ...

You know you’re a stupid provider / hobbyist when you.......


..... eat Mexican food the night before an 8 hour appointment the next day .....
Originally Posted by PAPA JOE

Silly Girl might be right... that's a dandy! But for some reason I think she might be able to top it if she was inclined to do so?! You already know the next post if "BOTH" of you agree on the same post... right?

Well, I'll tell you about my very first client. This is equal parts "Ewwww" for both of us!

My first appointment ever and he knew it and was super sweet and relaxed. Spent most of the time BJ/DATY and chatting. Near the end I was suuuuuuuuper horny and asked if I could hop on top and get a quickie. He said sure, I did, it was good and I popped off. To find that in the time between his fingers and my O, I totally got my period. So freaking embarrassed!

Fast forward a month. He shows up at my incall and I tell him right off the bat that I'm so glad he booked with me again even after my ugh.....mess. Now we are messing around again and he likes a little anal stim with fingers during and I was down. Then I pull back for a second and realize there is poo on my finger. And not just a little smear, a big old chunk.

In hindsight it is pretty funny to me, still gross, but funny. However he never did see me again!

Well, I'll tell you about my very first client. This is equal parts "Ewwww" for both of us!

My first appointment ever and he knew it and was super sweet and relaxed. Spent most of the time BJ/DATY and chatting. Near the end I was suuuuuuuuper horny and asked if I could hop on top and get a quickie. He said sure, I did, it was good and I popped off. To find that in the time between his fingers and my O, I totally got my period. So freaking embarrassed!

Fast forward a month. He shows up at my incall and I tell him right off the bat that I'm so glad he booked with me again even after my ugh.....mess. Now we are messing around again and he likes a little anal stim with fingers during and I was down. Then I pull back for a second and realize there is poo on my finger. And not just a little smear, a big old chunk.

In hindsight it is pretty funny to me, still gross, but funny. However he never did see me again! Originally Posted by SillyGirl

SillyGirl, did I call it or what? Your a good sport! I knew you would top Papa Joe. Blood & Poop beat gas all day long! Your the best!

I totally got my period. So freaking embarrassed!


Then I pull back for a second and realize there is poo on my finger. And not just a little smear, a big old chunk. Originally Posted by SillyGirl

LMAO !!!!

i could top the first part ..... but not he second !!!!

remember , it's a piss poor soldier that can't fight a bloody battle. LOL

You know you’re a stupid provider / hobbyist when you.......


..... eat Mexican food the night before an 8 hour appointment the next day .....
Originally Posted by PAPA JOE

That is called planning . . . especially when the provider wants you take a bath. Hmmmmm bubbles.

LOL ... i hadn't thought of the "bubble bath"

I broke the bedpost in a guys mothers bed!
{a longgggggggggggg story..lol}

\
several years ago...in New Mexico...I had a client wear one to our appt ....and he had confiscated the key so I could unlock him!
His girlfriend had found my name & number on a paper in his pocket...so when she had to go out of town,she made him wear a chasity belt

I broke the bedpost in a guys mothers bed!

...so when she had to go out of town,she made him wear a chasity belt Originally Posted by DallasRain

LOL , i can see the bed post breaking with you !!!


... you could have locked him back up afterwards .... and kept the key !!!

i love the new avatar ... two of my favorite ladies !!!
thanks, Babe !!!

Two things we can "ALWAYS" agree upon... Farts are funny and attorney’s suck! (Except my law firm.. Dewy, Screwem & Howe)

Funniest would be the bed breaking ...scared me, the slats broke & it literally dropped 2 feet