Anyone have any FUNNY JOKES to share?

okay so here is my contribution

What do you call a blonde with pigtails?
......a blowjob with handlebars!!!

A man and his wife had gotten into the habit of referring to making love as "doing the laundry" so their kid's wouldn't know what was up.

One day the man came home from work and said to his wife, "Honey, let's do some laundry."

"Not now," she said, "I've had a hard day and I just wanna watch a little T.V."

"OK," he says reluctantly, "I'm gonna go take a nap."

Time passes and the wife things about it and decides to go upstairs to make love to her hubby.

"Honey, I'm sorry, lets do some laundry!"

The husband turns around surprised, looks at his wife and says, "Sorry, but I just had a small load, so I did it by hand!"

A guy is driving down a country road and sees a fruit stand with a sign that says apples

for $250.00. This peaks his interest, he wonders what an apple that costs that much

tastes like. He pulls up to the stand and asks the farmer about his apples. The farmer

says try this apple first its $5.00 , it tastes like peanut butter and jelly. The guy agrees

and pays the 5 dollars, takes a bite and it tastes like peanut butter, the farmer tells him

turn it around and take a bite. The guy does just that and takes a bite it tastes like jelly.

Wow he says that is really good, the farmer says I have another one that tastes like a

ham and cheese sandwhich for $50.00, the guy agrees, he takes a bite and it tastes just

ham. The farmer tells him to turn it around and take a bite, the guy does that and it

tastes like cheese. Wow another tasty apple, the farmer tells him I have an apple that

tastes like pussy for $250.00, the guy agrees. He takes a bite out of the apple and

spits it out, gagging and choking, he tells the farmer, dam this apple tastes like shit.

The farmer tells him, turn it around.