Tell me how much you love my oral skills and then

FART IN MY FACE WHILE I'M DOWN THERE!!!! O M G!!!! W T F!!!

So you got him so worked up, he relaxed his anus. You should take it as a compliment (and feel lucky he didn't shart all over you...)

I warned you I had Colombian food for lunch and you went down there anyway...I was just blow drying your hair anyway...

Human nature.

LMMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !

So this gal has a big ass boil right on her taint. She goes to the doctor to see what he can do. He wants to lance it but it is so tender she won't let him get near it. The doctor tells her there is only one thing to do. Go to a professional boil sucker so he gives her a referral.

Now, this seems kinda shady but she is in so much pain that she is willing to try anything so off she goes. The offices are nice and the assistants are very professional and discreet. She starts to relax a little. The nurse finally calls her into the examining room and she gets up in the stirrups and gets anxious all over again. The boil sucker comes in and does a quick exam and quickly determines that this is one that will take all the experience he has.

Because of the location, the boil sucker explains, applying any type of local anesthesia will cause more pain than simply sucking the boil. He assures he he will be as gentle and quick as possible and that as soon as he is done the relief will be immediate. The patient hesitantly agrees and the procedure begins.

After carefully sterilizing the area the boil sucker assumes the catchers position and eases his lips gently around the lady's taint. The lady's pain is considerable but manageable until the boil sucker begins to try to suck the boil. He tries and tries but just can't get the damned thing to pop. The pain is becoming almost unbearable at this point and the lady is so tensed up that she is about to pass out. She pleads for the boil sucker to hurry up and finish and he is now at his wits end and decides to use the last resort of any boil sucker...bite the head.

Now he has the head of the boil all swelled up in his mouth and with his front teeth he quickly but firmly bites down on the head of the boil and immediately gets a mouthful of blood and goo. When the boil finally lets go the relief is so overwhelming that the lady's tensed body immediately relaxes and she lets out a whopper of a fart while the boil sucker still has his lips on her taint. He immediately spits the infection out into his little porcelain bowl and looks straight at the lady and says...

Bitch, are you trying to make me sick?

EWWW! I was with this one client and we were 69 - him on top, then some crust/clumps of dead skin and ashiness fell on my face ----> MURDERED the mood.

It happens . . . He should have warned you and then farted.

I like to jump and spin when I fart, ijs.....

Lmao! That is Funny & Nasty at the same time because my dinner now doesnt have the same tase after reading this Lol! Wow...."Shit" Happens....Lol!!!

I just threw up a little

Boardman, that was just fuk'n nasty!

I would have, at least, asked you to pull my finger.