Kinda like if Still Looking had been born a rooster...

A farmer has about 300 hens but no rooster, and he wants chicks. So he goes down the road to the next farmer’s house and asks if he might have a rooster for sale. The other farmer says, "Well, it just so happens that I do have a rooster for sale. He’s a great one. His name is Randy, and he'll service every chicken you've got -- no problem."

The rooster is pretty expensive, but the farmer really needs one, so he buys Randy.

The farmer takes Randy home and sets him down in the barnyard. Randy seems to be a little agitated, so the farmer decides to give the rooster a pep talk. "Randy, you've got a lot of hens to service here and you cost me a lot of money. I need you to do a good job, so pace yourself. Take your time and have some fun," the farmer says with a chuckle.

Randy seems to understand, so the farmer points him towards the hen house and Randy takes off like a shot.

WHAM! Within a couple of hours, Randy has nailed every hen on the farm three or four times. The farmer is just shocked.

Then Randy runs out of the hen house and sees a flock of geese down by the lake.

WHAM!! Randy runs over, and the next thing you know, he has nailed all the geese.

The farmer turns around and Randy's up in the pigpen. He's in with the cows. Randy is jumping on every animal the farmer owns.

Watching this sexual excess, the farmer is worried his expensive rooster won't even last the day. Sure enough, the farmer wakes up the next morning to find Randy laying out flat dead in the middle of the yard. Buzzards are circling overhead.

The farmer, saddened by the loss of such a colorful animal, looks down on the prostrate rooster and shakes his head. "Oh, Randy, I told you to pace yourself. I tried to get you to slow down, now look what you've done to yourself."

Randy opens one eye, nods towards the sky and says, "Shh! They're getting closer...."

Omg!! I laugh so hard I drooled on my keyboard! You're on funny chap.

That would be close only if you changed the story to Randy nailing roosters to Randy taking pictures.

Rooster .... or BEEG HAWT CAWK?!?!?

Who's that

And who gives a ...

An oldie but a goodie. I heard the punchline as, "shhhhh, they've almost come down."

An oldie but a goodie. I heard the punchline as, "shhhhh, they've almost come down." Originally Posted by Claire She Blows

Coming down or going down?
Wait! Are we still talking about the rooster here?!?

I was sitting at a park bench waiting for my ATF to join me for a picnic. She was running late like always. Along comes a kid about 18-19 years old with this rainbow Mohawk. Spiked about 10 inches.



Sure as shit sits right next to me. I couldn't help but stare. Suddenly sensing me staring she turns to me and says... "Hey you old fart, you could be my dad!". I replied... "I'll check my reviews and I did use to drink a lot but I don't remember ever fucking a peacock."

Usually I just ask them what their Mother's name was.

I went to England with another guy on business to a decent town SW of London. As soon as we get into town, my bud says: Pull up over here and we'll see if those people know a decent pub. The place looked like an art museum, big steps leading up to what looks like the Acropolis.

Anyway, he gets directions from a kid who looked almost exactly like the picture you posted. So we go to the pub he recommends, walk in and order a pint straight away.

We're sitting there drinking it and my bud says: Dang. This place is pretty creepy and seedy looking. I turned and looked at him and said: What the fuck! You got the damn recommendation from a guy sporting a fucking rainbow mohawk. What did you think would happen?

Along comes a kid about 18-19 years old with this rainbow Mohawk. Spiked about 10 inches.


Originally Posted by Still Looking