I had a scheduled encounter with a gentleman I had seen once before. When I originally reached out to his references, one of the ladies was nice enough to inform me that although he’s very paranoid and acts a bit strange when meeting a new lady, he’s a really nice guy. Well, just as she said, he was cautious leading up to our initial encounter, and his nerves were off the charts when he walked into my incall. But, that didn’t last long at all. Before he knew it, he was completely relaxed and all fears and suspicions had been relieved. I was under the impression that once our meeting was over and I was no longer a “new girl” to him, this paranoia would cease. Boy, was I wrong…
Since seeing each other, we’d kept in frequent contact through texting and short phone conversations. We’d been planning and trying to align our schedules for what seemed like forever. The time finally came were he would be traveling to my state for business, so we set a date. He would be sneaking away in between work obligations. But, we were both excited at the prospect of reconnecting, so we committed to it. The day finally came. I headed out to make the two hour drive and called him to let him know I was on my way. During the drive, I was phoned by the hotel to inform me that my room wouldn’t be ready for check in as early as I’d requested. This meant that I wouldn’t be able to see him until eleven. I sent him a text message to let him know about the change in time (originally planned to meet at 10:30) and the reason for the change. He replies that it’s fine with him.
I got to the hotel, and as I was sitting in the lobby waiting to check in, I noticed that I had missed a text from him. He was asking to confirm the location. I sent him a text confirming as the desk clerk was informing me that they had a room ready and rushed upstairs to prepare. I was sitting at the desk screwing around online when I realize it is 11:05. I text him and ask if everything is ok. He asks where I am. I tell him I’m already there waiting for him. He calls me… this is where things went left. He swears up and down that he did not see me drive in at 11:00. I tell him that’s because I was already there. I didn’t say I was arriving at that time. I said that I’d be ready to SEE you at that time. He accused me of having something fishy going on. He was asking if I knew the “guys” who were coming/going from the hotel and all kinds of weird questions and accusations. I tried to assure him that I had no dealings in anything going on there other than me and him and ask him what’s his deal. This guy was so paranoid that it made ME paranoid. He says ok and hangs up. I text and ask him what’s going on because I’m freaked out. No answer. I call. No answer. I’m pissed. How RUDE! I’m a little paranoid myself thinking, “Am I really safe here?” I start getting my things ready to leave. He calls me back saying to please tell him that I’m alone because he can’t take that type of chance. This is when my patience runs out. I tell him that he can forget it. I’ve never been treated in this manner and refuse to continue pleading my case with this ridiculous accusation. I tell him if he’s afraid of cops, we’ve already seen each other before, and if it’s some pimp or SO he’s worried about, he can kiss my ass. I tell him that “blank” told me that he was A BIT paranoid, but this was a completely unacceptable level of paranoia that was definitely not worth my time or efforts. He’s trying to say something to me, but he can’t get a word in because I’m FUMNG hot and laying into him (talk about the REAL Girlfriend Experience, lol). When I finally take a breath, he starts apologizing. He can tell that it’s doing no good by my responses. He asks to meet me so he can make it right. I tell him that nothing can erase what just happened. He says he really wants to explain some things to me and asked me to please meet him at a gas station so that he can do so and at least give me gas money for coming all that way. I figure what the hell. There’s no way I’m going through with the appointment, so I may as well get the gas money to cover the loss on the room I booked (only to check out less than a half hour later). Plus, even though I don’t think there’s a reasonable explanation for what happened, I really want to hear what he’s going to come up with.
I get to said gas station, and he starts talking. He apologizes for everything and admits that he got in his own way, especially considering the fact that we’d already seen one another and built a connection. He proceeds to tell me what bred the level of paranoia he has. Sitting there listening to what he went through truly broke my heart. He had a devastating experience that has left permanent scars on his personal and family life. I had a better understanding of why he’s so paranoid. But, that still didn’t make what happened ok, and I let him know exactly how I felt. If he had told me beforehand, things may have went different. We’ll never know, though, because it’s too late for that. In the end, he felt so bad that he insisted on compensating me without the appointment because he really screwed up. Now, he’s doing everything he can to rebuild the connection we once shared. We both know that what happened left a permanent stain on our friendship, and he knows that although I now understand why he’s the way he is, the way things happened and the accusations he made had a lasting effect on me. I’m not sure if I could ever see him again, and that really sucks because we had a great connection and lots of fun the first time.
My question is this: Has a client/provider ever been overly paranoid and blew it? Have you ever let your own paranoia and fears get in your way or make you blow your chances with a provider/client? If so, how was it handled?
Since seeing each other, we’d kept in frequent contact through texting and short phone conversations. We’d been planning and trying to align our schedules for what seemed like forever. The time finally came were he would be traveling to my state for business, so we set a date. He would be sneaking away in between work obligations. But, we were both excited at the prospect of reconnecting, so we committed to it. The day finally came. I headed out to make the two hour drive and called him to let him know I was on my way. During the drive, I was phoned by the hotel to inform me that my room wouldn’t be ready for check in as early as I’d requested. This meant that I wouldn’t be able to see him until eleven. I sent him a text message to let him know about the change in time (originally planned to meet at 10:30) and the reason for the change. He replies that it’s fine with him.
I got to the hotel, and as I was sitting in the lobby waiting to check in, I noticed that I had missed a text from him. He was asking to confirm the location. I sent him a text confirming as the desk clerk was informing me that they had a room ready and rushed upstairs to prepare. I was sitting at the desk screwing around online when I realize it is 11:05. I text him and ask if everything is ok. He asks where I am. I tell him I’m already there waiting for him. He calls me… this is where things went left. He swears up and down that he did not see me drive in at 11:00. I tell him that’s because I was already there. I didn’t say I was arriving at that time. I said that I’d be ready to SEE you at that time. He accused me of having something fishy going on. He was asking if I knew the “guys” who were coming/going from the hotel and all kinds of weird questions and accusations. I tried to assure him that I had no dealings in anything going on there other than me and him and ask him what’s his deal. This guy was so paranoid that it made ME paranoid. He says ok and hangs up. I text and ask him what’s going on because I’m freaked out. No answer. I call. No answer. I’m pissed. How RUDE! I’m a little paranoid myself thinking, “Am I really safe here?” I start getting my things ready to leave. He calls me back saying to please tell him that I’m alone because he can’t take that type of chance. This is when my patience runs out. I tell him that he can forget it. I’ve never been treated in this manner and refuse to continue pleading my case with this ridiculous accusation. I tell him if he’s afraid of cops, we’ve already seen each other before, and if it’s some pimp or SO he’s worried about, he can kiss my ass. I tell him that “blank” told me that he was A BIT paranoid, but this was a completely unacceptable level of paranoia that was definitely not worth my time or efforts. He’s trying to say something to me, but he can’t get a word in because I’m FUMNG hot and laying into him (talk about the REAL Girlfriend Experience, lol). When I finally take a breath, he starts apologizing. He can tell that it’s doing no good by my responses. He asks to meet me so he can make it right. I tell him that nothing can erase what just happened. He says he really wants to explain some things to me and asked me to please meet him at a gas station so that he can do so and at least give me gas money for coming all that way. I figure what the hell. There’s no way I’m going through with the appointment, so I may as well get the gas money to cover the loss on the room I booked (only to check out less than a half hour later). Plus, even though I don’t think there’s a reasonable explanation for what happened, I really want to hear what he’s going to come up with.
I get to said gas station, and he starts talking. He apologizes for everything and admits that he got in his own way, especially considering the fact that we’d already seen one another and built a connection. He proceeds to tell me what bred the level of paranoia he has. Sitting there listening to what he went through truly broke my heart. He had a devastating experience that has left permanent scars on his personal and family life. I had a better understanding of why he’s so paranoid. But, that still didn’t make what happened ok, and I let him know exactly how I felt. If he had told me beforehand, things may have went different. We’ll never know, though, because it’s too late for that. In the end, he felt so bad that he insisted on compensating me without the appointment because he really screwed up. Now, he’s doing everything he can to rebuild the connection we once shared. We both know that what happened left a permanent stain on our friendship, and he knows that although I now understand why he’s the way he is, the way things happened and the accusations he made had a lasting effect on me. I’m not sure if I could ever see him again, and that really sucks because we had a great connection and lots of fun the first time.
My question is this: Has a client/provider ever been overly paranoid and blew it? Have you ever let your own paranoia and fears get in your way or make you blow your chances with a provider/client? If so, how was it handled?
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