You Read In An Old Review That I What??!!! LOL...

So I get this email the other day with an appt. request. A really specific list of requests to be exact. After screening and such, we meet up at my place and I've done my best to accommodate this lengthy bizarre list right down to the room temp. seemingly rare brand of beer... He gets here, says nothing to me but acknowledges my presence.. sets my envelope down and bolts for the bathroom. <dammit, I've already let one giggle escape> I politely knock and tell him where his requested hygiene items are.. no answer.. umm... awkward much? Knock KNOCK. .. The door FLIES open.. he's naked <don't giggle dammit> and holding a tube of saran wrap. Um.. *cough*. "Honey, what is that for?" Now he's naked, holding plastic wrap, fidgeting ... I look down at his open bag and see that there is Costco sized jug of petroleum jelly. *snort*^cough*WTF??? ..
I step back, sit on my bed and motion him over to sit next to me. Yes, he is still clutching this plastic wrap for dear life.. After several attempts to fully get out of him what exactly he's got cooking in there, he tells me that he read in an old review that I am "intuitive". Ok... yeah.. I probably am. (not intuitive enough to know what we are going to do with all that vasoline) Then he also tells me that he read in a review that I am the real deal when it comes to being a Domme and that I will accommodate most any fetish..then he lets fly all this BCD stuff that we weren't allowed to see and all I can say is you guys can sure write some great prose! Apparently someone wrote a review and in the BCD section wrote that I had no problem wrapping my bed in plastic wrap whilst covering him in goo and then smacking him causing the goo to splat .. EVERYWHERE. Even read that I had no problem with the mess.. huh???

For the love of all that is holy, please don't watch some bizarre podcast then write my review!! I'm a kinky girl for sure, but cmon!! I'd never do that in my own place people!! Lol... omg..where do you guys get this stuff?? Hilarious..

In the end, he left a happier, less fidgety creature. His jug O Vasoline intact ready for another day and another Provider!

Stay Dry!!!!~ K

We live in perverted times, my friend.

But just to clarify, had it been a no-tell instead of your incall...

Eh, never mind. I'm too "vanilla" and besides, I'm not a member of Costco.

TFF!!!!!!

Wow...that really is ...an interesting story....aww...who am I kidding...it is TFF!!!

LMAO!!!!

BUAAHAHAH!!

You poor ladies sure have to put up with some crazy shit.

Awwww come on. Admit it. You did it all for the nookie.

Instant slip and slide

sounds like a harmless fetish, as I was reading I figured he wanted you to do Hot Carl or Cleveland Steamer...

I thought i read that it was a medium sized jar of vasoline.

Durango!! So good to see you again.. mm..there are a few of you in here I have had the pleasure of slipping and sliding with.. Is that Miss V on top of me? Oh my... hello again to you too honey bunny! You.. me.. Miss Roxy need to do that thing we did the last time we did that thing we did! ..

REB baby.. you need some sun honey..this weather is making you crankier. Or just stop by after work.. it'll all be ok. ~K

I am a visual person, and the little movie playing in my head is QUITE entertaining...

Just when you think you've heard it all................I wonder what kind of experience he must have had prior to foster such a fetish. Things that make you go, "hmmmmm"

LMAO... that is so funny. You have more patience than i do for sure!! LOL

LMFAOOO, WOW!