How much time is acceptable???

Here is a question, for both the men and women on ECCIE.net .....

Let me begin by saying I am NOT a whiner and I do NOT want to be "lit up" or for this question of mine to devolve into a war of words, name calling, etc.

I had an appointment scheduled today, with an otherwise respectable provider I'd been wanting to see for quite some time. She tours/travels so .... I've had to wait patiently. Well, I get an appointment, more than 24hrs in advance, give ALL my information/references and am told we're good to go. I am supposed to e-mail to confirm and get location. I do that ... 8 hours before our scheduled time. No response? A mere 2.5 hours before our appointment, I get an e-mail stating the provider cannot make it because something came up. Huh???

I do NOT think it's right for a woman to cancel last minute ... anymore than I think it is appropriate for a man to cancel last minute. Schedules have to be made (and manipulated, for those with SO's) and I guess, after a few years in the hobby, I just think it is disrespectful.

Just curious ... in your OPINIONS ... how much time is acceptable to give when cancelling an appointment???

Just curious ... in your OPINIONS ... how much time is acceptable to give when cancelling an appointment??? Originally Posted by BIGGIE

Had an appointment with a travelling lady.. WELL reviewed.. almost a legend, that I've seen 5 or 6 times already. Morning OF the appointment, she woke up not feeling well and contacted me about 3 or 4 hours before the appointment to cancel.

I completely understood and accepted it. Was I disappointed? You bet.. she's always a wonderful person to spend time with. But I'll see her again on her next pass through our state.

So.. how much time is acceptable notice? If she's got the incall... 3 or 4 hours prior as a minimum. If I'm planning to get the room... with enough advance notice to stop me from getting the room if she's cancelling.

The key is, she told you ahead of time. What I really hate is getting to the day of the appointment.. and dead silence. NO PM answers. No answers to text messages. No answer to calls.. then 4 or 5 hours after the appointment time, they contact you with some lame excuse.

What you experienced.. is unfortunate.. but it happens and nothing to get revv'ed up over.

That's my opinion of it.

It is a hard question, life happens sometimes and both sides have to cancel at the last minute and can be for very legitimate reasons. But....."something came up" can be an easy way out for either side if they change their mind for whatever reason. And you have no way to know if it is legit or not. I guess it is just part of the game that you have to live with.

She cancelled 2.5 hours before your appointment?
That's what you're whining about?
And is respect what you're really looking for from this hobby?
If so, you've come to the right place.

I think as long as when she cancelled she rescheduled asap with a free appointment then I would give her a pass. If she is willing to see you for free then you know she had a legitimate reason for cancelling. If she doesn't offer a free session to make up for it then she is very disrespectful.

I feel the same way if a gentleman cancels last minute. If he really has a good reason then he should have no qualms about paying for the time he reserved even if an emergency comes up.

No one is going to die by doing the right thing and making up for the time they wasted for someone else.

2.5 hours is hardly "last minute." You were not out anything, get over it.

I think as long as when she cancelled she rescheduled asap with a free appointment then I would give her a pass. If she is willing to see you for free then you know she had a legitimate reason for cancelling. If she doesn't offer a free session to make up for it then she is very disrespectful. Originally Posted by HeatherDAngelo

WOW - Heather dear, you are being very generous with her "free" appointments!!

Shit happens - 2.5 hours notice is plenty of time for you to be disappointed and get over it!! Move on!!

I think that the bottom line is if you are paying for a session you should expect her to give you her “A game” and if something, anything, comes up that will keep her from giving you her “A game” she should give you the opportunity to cancel. In this case, she canceled for you. In some situations the reason could be very personal – just as you may have a personal reason to cancel. There should not be a need to tell the other what the reason to cancel is. True, we are talking about a business transaction but a very personal business transaction so we all need to understand that if something comes up, we need to treat it more like a real date and not like having a repair man visit.

Not to be contrary, Heather, but you're in the minority on thinking that FREE service is reasonable for having to cancel. My service is never free. Ever. Because I have a quality product. And I take good care of, and invest in, my product. Sometimes my very limited supply runs short, for various reasons. That doesn't mean I start offering it for free just because I couldn't meet the demand. Discounts or time extensions for the inconvenience of rescheduling is perfectly reasonable, but devaluing your product by offering free service just doesn't sit well with me.

Here's why I think it is a bad idea. Say I'm feeling a little under the weather. I'm in a bad mood, due to the pain. I have an appointment in a few hours, and no amount of Ibuprofen is going to make me 100%. Now, I want to reschedule because I'm not going to be able to give him my best. But then I think about that word... free. Do I want to give my product away for free, just because I don't think I can perform top notch? No, I don't. So I decide to go through with the appointment. I'm a little bit of a bitch, and my enthusiasm is definitely lacking. The gent leaves disappointed, feeling like either he did something wrong, or I was a complete waste of $400+ this time. I might very well never see that client again. Money lost possibly many times the amount I just made. But say I make the other choice... go ahead and reschedule and do the appointment for free. Now I'm resentful that I'm working for no money. That I spent 3 hours getting ready, used condoms, lube, sheets, makeup, laundry, and my body, and I won't make a single dollar that day. That thought puts me in a foul mood. Do you think I'm going to be as delighted to see him and spend time with him as I would if he had a fistful of marvelous cash for me? Of course not. And my lack of enthusiasm again might just cost me that client.

Free service is not free, and I don't see how it benefits anyone. No professional I know offers their service for free just because something came up and they had to reschedule. Why on earth should we?

How about I just showered and am dressing to go see her and she calls to cancel! I understand something legit probably came up, but as I'm walking out the door to head to an AMP (my second option), she calls back and says she can see me after all. I say I've already made other plans, sorry and hang up. I later suspect she double booked or had a regular call her so she canceled with me, then that appointment canceled so she called me back. This was all in less then 30 minutes of our scheduled time. That pisses me off and I would certainly never waste time with her again.

But I think at least a couple hours notice is sufficient. Shit happens, as it has to me, so just roll with. If you have to fuck something, do a walk in at an AMP, or like me, there's always something around the house I need to fix.

Can you name her? I want to put her on my list of Providers responsible enough to let clients know that far in advance she has to cancel so I have time to make other plans.

You still had your time slot...why not try another Provider or as hd suggested, visit an amp? 2.5 hours is plenty of time to schedule with another girl.

Same day cancellations (where I don't meet the gent) get additional time added to their next session at no charge.

Once Auntie Flo decided to show up early. I found out right as gentleman was letting me know he was on his way. I told him what happened and offered to find another lady for him or he could just come by and we could hang out as friends OTC. He took option two and after sharing a bottle of wine, talking for a few hours, and going out for dinner we parted ways.

Sorry, sounding kinda whiney to me. She did get ahold of you a few HOURS before the appt after all.

Sure, it wasnt ideal and may have been an inconvenience for you, but I am sure if she had to cancel, it was an inconvenience (and lost revenue) for her as well.

Several months ago I had a session scheduled with my first ever traveling provider, someone who was in my top 3 list of dream dates to have, and she fell ill the morning of my appt and cancelled with about 2 hours notice. Yeah, it sucked, but life happens and I went on and did other things, even wound up having a good session with a local person the next day. I still hope to meet her in the future and maybe she'll be 'extra nice' because of the missed session, or maybe it will just be a 'good' session, who knows.

Suck it up.

Danceabout

A few thoughts:

Yes, it is both parties' obligation to try and keep appointments, but reality happens.

The biggest "short notice" reasons are usually health and kids. Sadly, kids don't always ask mom when it is a convenient time to get ill. And if a sitter backs out on a single mom--and teenage sitters can be some of the most unreliable people on earth--that puts a lady in a real no-win situation.

Disappointed when a lady lets me know a few hours be for a date? Sure. Angry? No--as others mentioned she contacted you. If it was me I would send a short note the next day saying, "I am sorry things didn't work out yesterday. I hope the problem has been resolved, and I especially hope you are alright." The ball is then in her court.

Let me ask a question: I am assuming this was a first date. If three hours before the appointed time YOU found out your 6 y/o kid was running a 104 fever and vomiting, would you tell HER those details? Most men would not. Nor would I expect a lady to tell me such things.

If it is someone you already know well, things are different.

I think as long as when she cancelled she rescheduled asap with a free appointment then I would give her a pass. If she is willing to see you for free then you know she had a legitimate reason for cancelling. If she doesn't offer a free session to make up for it then she is very disrespectful.

I feel the same way if a gentleman cancels last minute. If he really has a good reason then he should have no qualms about paying for the time he reserved even if an emergency comes up.

No one is going to die by doing the right thing and making up for the time they wasted for someone else. Originally Posted by HeatherDAngelo

I KNEW there was a reason I liked you! Oh, yeah, there were two others, but I agree that with 2.5 hours there is no need for a free session. Stuff does happen but the OP will never know if this is true.

What should happen is that she should promptly offered a new date and time and maybe extra time. That would show good faith. Of course, touring girls have time limitations so maybe that won't work. Then it gets confusing.